On August 12, 2010, I posed as a nude model for a life drawing session. An artist friend had seen my book John Sakars Nude (a book of nude photographs of me, taken by photographer Anne Nawrocka), and had asked me to model in her art studio. It was a great adventure. Here is my story!
I was told to bring a robe, but I don’t own a robe. So, I borrowed my sister’s pink Winnie the Pooh robe. I undressed in the bathroom, donned the robe and walked out into the studio. There were only four artists in attendance, and they were all friendly and serious about drawing. I took off the robe and felt completely comfortable.
I held several different poses for a minute each, and then worked my way up to a five-minute pose, a ten-minute pose, and then finally a few different thirty-minute poses. I was glad to discover that my meditation experience helped me to hold the 30-minute poses. During a six-month meditation course I took in 2008/2009, I learned that itches go away if you ignore them. So whenever my nose or some other part of my body began to itch as I posed, I stayed still and the itch went away. For two long poses I sat in a chair, and for another long pose I lied on the floor. All three poses began to feel uncomfortable after a while, but I respected the fact that the artists were working hard to capture me on paper, and I remained disciplined enough to fight through the discomfort and hold the poses.
It felt wonderful to have so many eyes on me, studying the curves of my body. I felt like a beautiful work of art, like a bowl of fruit or that smiling woman in the painting called Mona Lisa. We took short breaks in between each pose, during which time I put on the robe, sipped some water and looked at the artists’ drawings. Some of the drawings were realistic and some were fun caricatures.
I very much enjoyed being a nude model; I’d be open to the idea of doing this again sometime. Being a nude model definitely helped me grow as a person. In fact, I learn and grow from everything I do. I regularly step outside of my comfort zone and have reaped many rewards as a result of my adventures. I used to be afraid of public speaking, but I overcame this fear by trying stand-up comedy on amateur night when I was in my late 20s. I didn’t think that being nude in public was a fear of mine. However, I later realized after the life drawing class, that public nudity definitely had been a fear of mine.
I had always felt uncomfortable about urinating at a urinal, unless there are dividers between the urinals. I don’t know why I had this fear. Maybe I was worried that a man with a huge penis would laugh at my penis. Regardless of my reasoning, I always urinated inside stalls if there were no dividers between the urinals.
Sometimes, when the stalls were full and I had to urinate very badly, I would try to pee at a urinal. However, I would not be able to urinate. The urine would just not come out. So, I would just pretend to go, and give my penis a shake. Then, I would run into a stall as soon as one became available.
I always knew that I was wasting a lot more water by flushing a toilet, than by flushing a urinal. However, my fear of someone seeing my penis was greater in my mind, than my desire to save water.
Then on August 24th, less than two weeks after my nude modeling experience, my dad took me out for dinner for my birthday. We went to the buffet at the casino. At one point during dinner, I went to the bathroom. I saw that there were no dividers between the urinals, so I headed towards the stalls. Then, for some reason, I began thinking about how silly I was being. I thought to myself, “Wait a second! Aren’t I the same guy who just posed as a nude model? Why the hell am I shy about urinating at a urinal? That makes no sense at all.”
So, I walked proudly up to a urinal. I unzipped my fly and I began urinating. The urine flowed out nice and easy. I didn’t push up close to the urinal either, to try and hide my penis. I just stood there as cool and relaxed as could be, just like when I was modeling.
I went back to the table and excitedly told my dad, brother and sister about my great accomplishment. My dad proceeded to give me the same lecture he has given me many times before, about how I need to learn to keep some things private. I said to my dad, “No way. I’m proud of my accomplishment. I’m going to write a whole blog about this!”
I encourage all of you to step outside of your comfort zones and try new things. You will reap rewards that you never even expected! When I agreed to be a nude model, I knew I’d reap some rewards. However, I had no idea that water conservation would be one of the rewards! Just think of how much water I’ll save over the course of my life, through my new love affair with urinals!
In conclusion, if you’ve ever been curious about being a nude model, go for it! Just make sure you trust the people you’re with, so you don’t get drugged and gang raped or anything like that. And if you’re shy about urinating at urinals, I encourage you to get over that shyness. Have someone you trust look at your penis and tell you that you have a lovely penis. Learn to love your penis unconditionally. In fact, we should all love our entire bodies unconditionally. After all, our bodies keep us alive! Love yourself! Love life!
By the way, as far as saving water is concerned, I also like to follow the rule, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” I encourage you to follow that advice too!