Compassionate Artist

How My Ego Hurt Planet Earth

2010-10-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

I'm watching a film called "Manufactured Landscapes", which I borrowed from the library. This 2006 film follows acclaimed photographer Edward Burtynsky as he captures the effects of China’s industrial revolution. I'm finding it very sad to watch the factory workers in China doing the same tasks over and over again. I’m finding it sad to see children sitting beside huge piles of discarded CDs.

I'm also feeling bad about the recordable DVDs I recently purchased.

I bought fifty DVDs because my ego had distracted me from my usual environmentally friendly self. I had wanted to be a big shot and have my own DVD. On the DVDs, I put all of the best Cousin Zeke and Mountain Weed Videos, and I called the DVD “Cousin Zeke’s Vegan Adventures”. I made a menu on the DVD, and bought cases, and made fancy covers to insert into the cases. Now, I’m wishing I would have just been happy with the videos being on YouTube. The videos can be watched at www.youtube.com/JohnSakars for free, by anyone with internet access.

Besides the fifty recordable DVDs, I also bought thirty-five brand news cases in which to put the DVDs. Since they’re already purchased and I already used paper, ink, and labels to make everything look fancy, I will distribute the finished product. However, I’m not going to make anymore DVDs. I know some DVDs, like “Earthlings”, are important enough to warrant bringing more plastic into the world. However, I have to face the fact that me dressing up in drag and pretending to vomit into a toilet is not something worthy of plastic.

I hope to never forget the looks on the faces of the Chinese factory workers in “Manufactured Landscapes”. They look sad, I think. I’m really going to try harder to avoid buying new material possessions. I hope to not let my ego get in the way of my environmentalism again.

Besides the DVDs, I also have a new book I recently brought into this world. The book is a compilation of all my blogs from “compassionateartist.blogspot,com”. The book is 200 pages and is called “Compassionate Artist: A Collection of Blogs about Veganism, Art, and Sexuality”. Again, these blogs are all available for free on the internet. So, why bring more paper into the world? Again, I let my ego do my thinking for me. Some books, like “WHY WE LOVE DOGS EAT PIGS AND WEAR COWS”, by Dr. Melanie Joy, are worthy of paper. Her book is helping to change the world. I feel confident that my book will help people too, but I still don’t know if I should have made a book from my words. I still don’t know if my words are worthy of paper.

Every material object has a story behind it. DVDs and books don’t just appear from thin air. The materials for these objects come from planet Earth, and they require the use of energy, and they pollute the environment, and they are made by people who are usually treated like robots. I worked in a factory for 1.5 years and I hated it. So why would I buy something made from a factory now, without taking a moment to think about the results of my actions?

I like to think I do very well, as far as avoiding buying plastic. I always use my reusable water bottle and my reusable shopping bags. I avoid buying processed foods with lots of packaging. I mostly buy things used. So again, why did I buy the DVDs and cases? I was seduced by my ego. I wanted to be a big shot and look fancy with my own DVD.

I guess I don’t feel as bad about my book as I do about my DVD. I feel worse about bringing plastic into the world, than paper. I also think my book is more likely to inspire people, than my DVD. However, I’m willing to accept the possibility that both my book and my DVD were bad ideas. I believe it’s very important for us to question our actions.

As it stands right now, I have forty DVDs and twenty-six copies of my new book. I don’t feel any desire to make anymore DVDs. As for the books, I’ll give the matter more thought. Perhaps I’ll do some research about E Books. E Books seem to be a great way to sell books without causing so much harm to the planet.

Oh, ego. What a troublesome little bugger you are! I will try harder to not let you seduce me again!

Compassionate Artist--A Collection of Blogs About Veganism, Art, and Sexuality

2010-10-19T18:52:00.001-07:00

This book is a collection of some of my blogs from www.compassionateartist.blogspot.com. The blogs are in no particular order, so read them in any order you wish. I hope that through these blogs you can learn from my experiences.

I know that we humans are strange creatures. Rather than ignore some of my own strange behaviour, I thought I'd share some explicit stories. If at any point you begin to feel uncomfortable while reading this book, feel free to put the book down and take a break. The reason why I am brave enough to publish intimate stories, is because I know that we all do strange things sometimes. I know we are much more similiar than we may want to admit.

With this book, I hope to make you laugh and inspire you to think about important matters. Since I do a lot of my reading on the shitter, I thought I'd make the blog on green smoothies the first blog in this book. If you decide to incorporate green smoothies into your life, you'll soon be spending lots of time on the shitter too. Keep this book in your bathroom, and you'll have it read in no time!

Green Smoothies April 15, 2010

A couple of years ago, my brother bought a juicer. He made me some fruit juice and I thought it was delicious. This inspired me to buy a juicer, too. I used the juicer for a few weeks, but I didn’t enjoy cleaning it afterwards. I also didn’t like throwing the fibre away into the compost bin instead of eating it. Fortunately, I learned about something much better than juicing. I discovered green smoothies.

Dark, leafy greens like kale, spinach and romaine lettuce are the most nutrient dense foods on planet Earth. Unfortunately, most people don’t eat enough of these foods. Or when they do eat greens, they often cook the greens and kill the nutrients, or dump unhealthy salt, sugar and fat onto the greens in the form of salad dressings. Fortunately, there’s no cooking or salad dressing involved with green smoothies. Green smoothies are a way for you to get greens into your body in a quick, delicious, nutritious way.

When I first read about green smoothies, I had my doubts about how delicious they would be. I thought to myself, “If I’m going to spend money on organic fruit and take the time to make a smoothie, why would I want to ruin the taste by adding vegetables!”

Fortunately, I took the time to read about how incredibly important it is for us to consume nutrient dense food, so that we can stay healthy. I read about how beneficial dark, leafy greens are for our bodies. I read about how our ancestors ate up to six pounds of leaves per day. I thought about the big, strong animals like giraffes, that eat leaves all day.

I love life. I want to live as long as I can. So, when I bought a blender and made a fruit smoothie, I decided that I simply had to add some greens. So, I added some spinach to my smoothie, took a sip . . . and was very pleasantly surprised!

I found the green smoothie absolutely delicious. Plus, the blender was very easy to clean. I was sold on green smoothies. I knew that green smoothies would become an important part of my life.

I’ve now been drinking green smoothies for about two years. During this time, I haven’t even been remotely ill. I had a headache once for a few hours, but that’s it. I’m grateful for this long stretch of good health. However, that's really not the reason why I drink green smoothies.

The real reason why I drink green smoothies, is because I absolutely love how they taste.

Green smoothies allow endless creative opportunities. You can put any combination of dark, leafy greens (or even broccoli) into a blender, along with fruit and water. I find that fruit has a stronger taste than greens. I often barely even taste the greens.

My personal favourites in the greens department are spinach, romaine lettuce, mixed field greens and kale. My favourite fruits to add are . . . every fruit! However, I do like local produce best. In addition to greens and fruit, I sometimes add dates, almonds and organic fair trade cocoa powder. Then, for my omega fatty acids, I’ll add hemp hearts, chia seeds or ground flax (I grind the flax myself with a coffee grinder).

When I make a green smoothie, I’ll fill the whole blender with greens first, then pour in filtered water until the water reaches halfway up the blender. Then, I’ll blend. The greens shrink right down, allowing room to add fruit. By the time I’m all done, the blender will be filled to the top. If you want to share your green smoothie with someone, please do so. I personally will drink a whole blender full of green smoothie by myself and love every second of it. Sometimes I’ll drink two whole blenders full of green smoothie in one day. Sometimes even three!

If you can’t drink the whole green smoothie in one sitting, you can of course keep some for later. Sometimes I’ll leave the house with a glass of green smoothie and people will wonder what I’m drinking. I always smile when they say my concoction looks unappetizing. I tell these people that they don’t know what they’re missing.

To lessen your impact on the environment, try to find a used blender somewhere. However, even if you do buy a new blender, this is still good for the environment in the long run. I’ve already made probably about 700 blenders full of green smoothie with my present blender. The amount of energy and natural resources used to make one blender is one hell of a lot less than the amount of energy and resources that would have gone into creating and packaging 700 meals worth of processed food. Plus, my blender is still in great shape. It’s not even a very expensive blender, either. I just paid seventy dollars for it at a hardware store. Who knows how many delicious, nutritious, organic meals I’m going to make with this thing!

You may also be thinking, “Well, why don’t I just eat salads instead, without salad dressing.” By all means, go for it. Delicious salads can indeed be made by adding berries, nuts, dried fruit, and other vegetables to your greens instead of salad dressing. However, I personally know there’s no way I would eat a big bowl of kale or spinach for breakfast every morning. I just would not take the time to do that much chewing first thing in the morning every day. However, I will drink blended greens, no problem.

If this blog inspires even one person to try a green smoothie, then I will be happy. Perhaps you will end up being as passionate about green smoothies as I am!

Vegan Superheroes June 18, 2010

When I was a child, my favourite superhero was Spiderman. One day, I got the idea that if I caught a spider and ate it, I could become just like Spiderman. My mother saw me searching the front yard and asked what I was up to. When I told her that I was looking for a spider to eat so that I could have super powers, she said that eating a spider would make me sick. I believed her. I gave up my mission.

Now, as I reflect on that day, I’m glad I didn’t eat a spider. I don’t know if the spider’s corpse would have made me sick. However, I do know that I would have caused a spider’s life to end. In fact, in my quest to become a superhero, I was doing the exact opposite of what superheroes do. I was thinking about what I wanted, instead of thinking about others. I wanted to be able to walk up walls and shoot webs from my wrists, and I was willing to take a life to make that happen.

Fast forward to June 5th, 2010.

While I waited in my chicken suit for the 2010 Toronto Veggie Pride Parade to begin, I asked a little boy named Oliver about his T-shirt that said GO VEGAN on it. Oliver said to me, “I’m a vegan superhero.” I smiled, because I knew he was right. I know this boy’s parents, and they are raising their sons as vegans. However, these two boys are doing much more than just being vegans. They handed out leaflets during the parade. They talk about veganism at school. They really are vegan superheroes. Fortunately, in my twelve years as a vegan, I’ve met many other vegan superheroes too, from all walks of life.

I’m certainly not an authority on vegan superheroes. I know some activists don’t even like the term “vegan superhero”. After all, being a vegan and promoting veganism are extremely simple things to do. We don’t need to put ourselves on pedestals. However, I know that Oliver beamed with pride when he referred to himself as a vegan superhero. I also know that the little boy in me, who always wanted to be a superhero, is still alive and well. So, if some vegans feel good about referring to themselves as superheroes, and if that title (as silly as it may be) inspires them to act, then I think the title of Vegan Superhero can be a good thing indeed.

At the Toronto Veggie Pride Parade, I felt like I was surrounded by vegan superheroes, and that was a great feeling. We marched proudly, happy to be representing the vegan community. Of course, some vegans may feel they don’t need to be in parades, in order to live compassionate lives. Some vegans feel they don’t need to have vegan bumper stickers, or wear vegan T-shirts, or own anything else that says the word “vegan” on it. Some vegans feel they don’t need to distribute leaflets about veganism, or participate in peaceful demonstrations, or write
letters to the editor. In fact, some vegans feel they don’t have to explain their vegan lifestyles to anyone. They can just eat their tofu in peace, and when asked about their veganism they can say, “It’s my personal choice.”

I’m glad to say that I don’t belong to that group of vegans.

By adopting a vegan lifestyle, you can save hundreds, if not thousands, of animals. However, by promoting veganism, the number of animals you can save increases exponentially. So, I’m glad to say that I belong to the group of vegans who promotes veganism. I belong to the group of vegans who distribute leaflets about veganism, and participate in peaceful demonstrations, and write letters to the editor, and wear clothing that promotes veganism, and have bumper stickers that promote veganism. In short, I belong to the group of vegans known as Vegan Superheroes.

If you’re a vegan, I applaud you for not eating animals or animal excretions. However, I urge you to do more than just be a vegan. I urge you to actively promote veganism.

At first, some of you may feel shy about promoting veganism. You may think that by becoming an animal rights activist, you run the risk of someone criticizing you or making fun of you. However, you needn’t venture into the world of animal rights activism alone.

The first time I ever participated in a demonstration, was in front of Marineland about nine years ago. I had read in the newspaper that a group of people were going to be protesting, and so I made a sign and attended the demo. Though I didn’t know anyone there, it felt great to meet many like-minded people. Many people drove by and honked their horns, or gave us the thumbs up. Though a few people drove by and yelled things like “Get a life”, being in the company of vegan superheroes gave me strength and courage.

I’ve also received negative feedback on occasion, while handing out leaflets about veganism. One lady got mad at me and said, “What are you trying to do, cripple the Canadian farming industry?” However, negative comments are very rare. Most people are polite. In fact, I also meet people who are extremely grateful to see me leafleting. I’ve had people hug me or want their picture taken with me. I know some leafleters have even been given presents! Leafleting is possibly the most rewarding form of activism you can engage in. Having a conversation about veganism with someone open to change is incredibly fulfilling. If you feel shy about leafleting, don’t worry. Your shyness will vanish after you hand out your first leaflet or two. However, if you still feel nervous about going out to leaflet, all you have to do is find someone to leaflet with. The two of you can give each other confidence. If you want a partner, e-mail different animal rights groups and find an activist in your area. I know Vegan Outreach in particular can connect you with leafleters all across North America and beyond. Visit www.veganoutreach.org.

Besides demonstrating and leafleting, there are endless ways to engage in animal rights activism. You can be an activist by preparing vegan food for bake sales, potlucks, or dinners with friends and family. You can be an activist through the written word, by writing letters to the editor, or by writing to politicians, or businesses, or even letters to imprisoned activists. You can be an activist by wearing T-shirts or buttons that promote veganism, or by putting stickers on your car or other belongings. You can be an activist by sharing videos like "Meet Your Meat" and "Earthlings" on social networking sites. You can be an activist through art. You can paint, write music, write poems, make YouTube videos, write blogs, take pictures, or do any other number of creative things that can inspire people to make compassionate choices. You can also have conversations. When someone asks you about your vegan lifestyle, tell that person why you are a vegan.

When I was twenty-two years old and had my first girlfriend, she claimed to be a vegetarian (even though she still ate chicken and fish). I was impressed by the fact that she didn’t want to eat any sausage, even when I ate sausage right in front of her. However, when I asked her why she didn’t eat beef or pork, all she said was that she didn’t like eating those things. To this day, I have no idea why she didn’t eat cows or pigs. Perhaps if she had gone into some detail about her food choices, I would have become a vegan at the age of twenty-two. Instead, I didn’t stop eating meat until five years later, when a vegan actually explained to me how cruel factory farming is, and I became inspired enough to do my own research.

Many children dream of being able to fly and capture bad guys, just like the superheroes they see in cartoons and comic books. I myself dreamt of becoming Spiderman. However, in the real world, you don’t need to have X-ray vision or superhuman strength in order to make the world a better place. All you need to do is be a vegan and promote veganism. Adopting a vegan diet and promoting veganism are the best things you can do to help yourself, animals and the environment.

Share Your Ideas Today! June 20, 2010

If you lived on an island with only one other person, would you talk to that person? Would you share your ideas with that person? I believe that even if we put you on an island with someone you despised, eventually you would want to talk to that person. That’s because humans are social creatures. We love talking to others. We love sharing our experiences and ideas with others.

Fortunately, through the aid of modern technology, it’s easier than ever before for us to communicate with others. We can call each other on cell phones, e-mail each other, or just poke each other on Facebook. Or, if we feel that we have information that could benefit a large audience, we can even create something that a great number of people could enjoy. We can write a blog or post a video on YouTube, and within seconds we can make our ideas available to anyone with access to the internet.

Of course, it’s so easy to share information on the internet, the internet is now full of . . . information! So, even if you take the time to write a blog or record a video, there’s no guarantee that the masses will even find your blog or video. Perhaps only a handful of your closest friends will take the time to enjoy your creation and that’s it.

Some of you may be thinking that if only one or two people will read your blog or watch your video, then you shouldn’t waste your time writing or recording. After all, writing takes work. Creating a video takes work. Why bother doing the work, when there’s a chance that only one person will appreciate your work?

First of all, I would like to remind you that it took 13.7 billion years (the age of the known universe) for you to come into existence. And though I hope science will somehow be able to prolong our lives, human beings currently expire after approximately 30,000 days. In other words, your days of being able to communicate with others are limited. In fact, you could fall down the stairs five minutes from now and die. Then, any ideas that currently reside in your head will never get a chance to enter the minds of others. That is why you must communicate your ideas and experiences to others now! Don’t be lazy. You’ll have lots of time to do nothing after you’re dead.

I recently spoke to a friend of mine who I think is quite smart. He told me about some ideas he has, and I suggested he write a blog. He said, “Oh, no one cares what I think.” I tried to convince him that people would find his ideas intriguing. However, he was determined to believe that no one would care about his ideas, so I gave up trying to convince him otherwise.

I’m glad that I think differently than my friend. I happen to believe that my ideas are fantastic! I happen to think that I’d be committing crimes against planet Earth, if I kept my ideas to myself. My belief in myself and my ideas gives me energy to do things like write blogs and create videos. If I felt like my ideas weren’t important, then that limiting belief would rob me of my desire to create.

In all honesty, sometimes I do doubt myself. Sometimes I share an idea of mine, and I think to myself, “Am I brilliant, or just plain crazy?” However, overall, I think that even if some of my ideas aren’t stellar, they are at least worthy of your attention. Even if some of my videos or blogs won’t make the world a better place, they may at least inspire you to create your own art.

I’ll admit that when I write a blog or create a video, I like to receive positive feedback. Compliments make me feel good. However, even when I receive no positive feedback, I don’t let that dampen my enthusiasm. The fact is that people are busy and don’t always have time to give me feedback. The important thing is that I keep on creating. I keep on sharing my ideas.

Sometimes, you may feel jealous of the attention that another creative person receives. You may wish your art was adored by millions, like so and so’s art. However, there will always be someone who is more popular than you. There will always be someone who makes more money than you. There will always be someone who gets more critical acclaim than you. All you can do is your absolute best to make a difference in the life of just one individual.

Imagine that you worked for hours on a video or blog, and only one person appreciated your work. Would you be disappointed? Well, what if you touched that person so deeply, you changed that person’s life? Would you feel proud of your creation then?

I don’t know if this blog will touch anyone. However, I know that I’m feeling good right now, while I’m creating. Being creative is part of being human. When I go a long period of time without being creative, I become miserable.

I need to be creative, just like I need to eat, sleep and breathe.

If you spend any time observing the world around you, then you know there’s a lot of suffering going on. I think that if you know how to lessen the amount of suffering in the world, in even the slightest way, then you are morally obligated to share your knowledge. For instance, I know that our planet is suffering as a result of our throw-away society. Well, yesterday I did something small, that I would like to tell you about.

I went to a Toastmasters conference in Hamilton and I brought a reusable plate with me so that I could avoid using a paper plate at lunch time. While others used paper plates, I used my plate from home. After lunch I felt great, knowing that I hadn’t contributed to the large amount of waste in the conference room. This is an example of something small that I recently did, to make the world a better place. Now, after reading this blog, maybe you’ll remember to bring a reusable plate when you go to a function. Maybe you’ll bring a reusable bottle of water with you, too. (I forgot to bring my reusable bottle of water, so I just refrained from drinking anything at all, until I got back home. That’ll teach me to remember my water bottle next time!) If you strive to avoid using throw-away items, then I’ll be glad that I wrote this blog.

However, even if you never strive to be more environmentally friendly, I’ll still be glad that I wrote this blog. Even though being creative is hard work, it makes me feel good. In conclusion, I encourage you to share your ideas with the world. Don’t think that no one cares about what you have to say. Don’t let limiting beliefs hold you back from being creative and being fully human. We need you to share your ideas and experiences with others, so that we can work together to make the world a better place.

Write a blog! Record a video! Share your ideas today!

Why I Love Vegan Vaginas November, 2009

I'm a heterosexual man. Sometimes I fantasize about licking a woman's vagina. More specifically, I fantasize about licking a vegan woman's vagina. Here is my story.

As an artist, I enjoy communicating with others through painting, sculpting, creative writing, song writing, comedy sketches, etc. I love being creative and I'm always searching for new ways to express myself. Through the years, people have commented on how much they like my work: "That's cool"; "Wow, I like that"; "Gee, that must have taken you a long time to create". All artists appreciate feedback and I'm no exception. However, there's one type of feedback that has made me feel better than anything else. That, my friend, is the feedback I've received while performing cunnilingus.

Wow! It sure feels great to know you made someone else feel so good that they actually moaned! No painting of mine has ever made someone moan with pleasure. Now, before I paint myself as a tramp (or a stud, depending on your perspective), I'll have you know that I've only performed cunnilingus on two women and both women were my girlfriends at the time. Trust me, I'm not out every night searching for vaginas to lick. I've always desired relationships over casual sex. Even though I'm very busy with a variety of creative projects, I desire a relationship very much. There's nothing that would make me happier than to find a wonderful woman to fall in love with. (OK, fall in love with and then lick her vagina. That would make me happier.) Yes, a wonderful woman. Doesn't every heterosexual man desire a wonderful woman? Yes indeed. Well, it should be easy for any man to find a wonderful woman, because all women are wonderful, right?

The sad truth is that while all women may be wonderful in many respects, most women engage in behaviour on a daily basis that is absolutely criminal. What do most women do that is criminal? I'll tell you. Most women rape, torture and murder non-human animals. Of course, all carnists hurt animals. However, today I'm talking about women. Why? Because I want to date a woman. I want to fall in love with a woman. And yes, I want to lick that woman's vagina.

I've been a vegan for twelve years. In that time, I've met many other vegans. I've been extremely fortunate to have developed friendships with many vegans, too. However, I've yet to develop an intimate relationship with a vegan woman. Why does a woman have to be a vegan before I'll date her? I'll tell you why.

In the twelve years that I've been a vegan, I've learned a lot about what happens in factory farms and slaughterhouses. In fact, as I sit here right now, I can feel myself getting upset over the animal cruelty videos I've seen. Most people don't make the connection between their chicken wings and the bird who was killed for those wings. I used to be one of those people, completely detached from the food I ate. But twelve years ago, I made the decision to educate myself about animal cruelty. I learned about the inhumane treatment of cows, pigs, chickens and turkeys who are slaughtered by the billions. Now I don't associate chicken wings with good times. I don't associate turkey with wholesome family fun. I associate all animal products with rape, torture and murder.

I love the fact that we are living in the age of information. The dirty little secrets of animal agribusiness are all over the internet for all to see. Because of this unprecedented access to information, I believe we will see a worldwide shift towards a plant-based diet faster than anyone ever imagined. However, for now, the majority of the people I interact with on a daily basis are carnists. I'm nice to these carnists too; I used to be a carnist myself. However, when it comes to dating someone, I need to feel especially close to that person. I may be able to feel close to a carnist woman temporarily. However, I know that once I saw that woman consuming meat, eggs or dairy products, I would feel sad. I would think about the poor, defenceless animals that suffered for that woman's meal.

I know that we all have to make compromises when it comes to relationships. However, we must also have the strength to refuse to settle in matters that are truly important to us. No matter how wonderful a woman may be, I don't want to be with her if she's a carnist. I know of many vegan women who are in relationships with carnists. Now, I would never try to tell anyone who to date or marry. However, I would like to say that a part of me wishes these women would refuse to date men who aren't vegans. Though many men love steak, I have a feeling they love their female companions even more. Hey, if it takes sex to make some men adopt a vegan diet, so be it. I'm thankful for every new vegan, because every new vegan means one fewer person hurting animals.

I know that one day I'll fall in love with a vegan woman. I'm meeting new vegans all the time. However, just in case I get into an accident and wind up in a coma, I have one request. Please sneak into the hospital room and dab some vegan vagina juice (VVJ) onto my lips. I will die a happy man.

Someone once said, "It's nice to be important. However, it's more important to be nice". I couldn't agree more. That's why I want a relationship with a vegan woman. Vegan women are nice.

Before I finish, I'd like to apologize for being a little crude with all my talk about vegan vaginas. I just knew I'd have a better chance of getting you to read this post if I talked about vaginas. Vagina is one cool V-word. However, the V-word that is the most important word of all is VEGAN! Adopt a vegan diet today!

Eat the Carrot. Let Me Live. January 7, 2010

Facebook Status Update, January 6th, 2010
John Sakars: Atoms are 99.9999999999999% space. Your brain is made of atoms. Therefore, your brain is 99.9999999999999% space. A wall is also made of atoms. Therefore, a wall is also 99.9999999999999% space. So, talking to you really is like talking to a wall! Haha!

Kimberly: john - this reminds me of that lady at your variety show who pulled the quantum physics - plant card

**********************************************

Sometimes I’m glad I write stupid things on Facebook, because I learn from my mistakes. I’m fortunate to have many intelligent friends to set me straight. Let me rewind a little so I can tell you about the variety show Kimberly was referring to.

A couple of months ago, I hosted a variety show at an art gallery. I had several animal rights activist friends in the audience and we started talking about animal rights. Well, there was a lady in the audience who began talking about quantum physics. (Quantum physics is the study of the behaviour of matter and energy at the molecular, atomic, nuclear, and even smaller microscopic levels.) Now, I’m not knowledgeable about quantum physics and I can’t remember everything this lady (I’ll call her Lady QP) said. However, she talked about the levels on which plants and animals are the same and I just happened to have had a bag of carrots in my knapsack (Don’t all vegans walk around with a bag of carrots?). I pulled out a carrot and questioned her about her thoughts on eating carrots. She continued to speak about the ways in which animals and plants are the same in terms of quantum physics. She even said there is no difference between killing a carrot and killing an animal.

Well, my activist friends got very frustrated with Lady QP and I got frustrated with her as well. The very idea that she didn’t think killing a carrot was any worse than killing a chicken disgusted me and disgusted my activist friends as well.

Fast forward to January 6th, 2010.

I stumbled upon a website about atoms and became very interested. I knew atoms are mainly space but I didn’t know exactly how much space. It seems that atoms are in fact 99.9999999999999% space. That’s thirteen nines to the right of the decimal point. I started to think of myself as being nothing more than a collection of atoms. Since atoms are mainly space, my brain is mainly space. I imagined my brain inside of a room, sitting on the floor. If you were to remove all of the space from my brain, my brain would appear to disappear. It would be 99.9999999999999% smaller than it is right now.

So, I thought about this for a while and then I wrote my status update in an attempt to be funny.

Now, I realize that on some levels, I’m no different than a wall. On an atomic level I’m merely a collection of atoms, just as a wall is a collection of atoms. I’m 99.9999999999999% space, just as a wall is 99.9999999999999% space. However, I don’t live my life on an atomic level.

On the level at which I live, I don’t feel like 99.9999999999999% space. I feel solid. I feel real. My hunger feels real. My pain feels real.

When I pet my cat, my cat feels just as real as I feel. She behaves just as I do too. She needs food like I do. She wants to come inside when she’s cold. She wants attention when she feels lonely. She may not think about things like atoms, but we’re more alike than we are different.

In some ways, I have something in common with Lady QP. She thinks about the ways in which living beings are the same. I too think about the ways in which living beings are the same. However, she talks about how we are the same on molecular, atomic, and nuclear levels. I talk about how we are the same on an experiential level.

Lady QP could talk all day about how an animal and a carrot are the same. However, if she and a carrot were both inside a burning house and firefighters could only save her or the carrot, I’ll bet she wouldn’t talk about how she is the same as a carrot. I’ll bet she would say, “Fuck the carrot! Get me the hell out of here!”

Now, just as Lady QP doesn’t want to feel pain, other animals don’t want to feel pain either. However, in our modern world there are billions of non-human animals who are experiencing a great deal of pain and suffering every minute of every day inside factory farms.

These non-human animals don’t want to talk about quantum physics. Of course, they may not be able to comprehend quantum physics. However, if Lady QP were living in a factory farm, even though she would still be able to comprehend quantum physics, she would cease to have any interest at all in quantum physics. Instead, she would only be able to think about her pain and suffering. Now, I’m all for learning about science. It’s incredibly fascinating to think about how the universe operates on all levels. If I wanted to, I could think all day about whether or not I even exist. I could think about whether or not time exists. I could in fact question everything everywhere.

However, I don’t always question everything, because there are some things I don’t want to question. For instance, when I get hungry, I don’t want to question whether or not my hunger exists. I just want to eat something. If I’m cold, I don’t want to question coldness. I just want to go somewhere warm. If I’m lonely, I don’t want to question whether or not my friends exist. I just want to go visit someone.

The fact is, we can’t be functional beings and continue to question everything all the time. Sometimes, we just have to assume that things exist. For instance, when I have to leave the house, I have to assume that gravity exists. Otherwise, I’d be afraid of leaving the house because I’d float off into space and die. I have to assume that people exist too. After all, I want people to assume that I exist. If I were walking across the street, I certainly wouldn’t want someone driving a car to say, “Oh, that man is just a collection of atoms that is 99.9999999999999% empty space and I’m running late, so I’m just going to drive right through him.”

It’s fun to think about atoms and how the world operates on an atomic level. However, it’s much more important to think about how the world operates on an experiential level. After all, the experiential level is the level on which we live. It’s the level on which we feel pleasure and pain. It’s the level on which non-human animals live too. It’s the level on which non-human animals feel pleasure and pain.

Lady QP is fortunate to be able to think about quantum physics. She’s fortunate to not be standing in her own feces in a factory farm, waiting to get killed. If she were living in a factory farm, she wouldn’t be spending one second talking about the similarities between animals and carrots. She would be saying, “Eat the carrot. Let me live.”

Though I may have just been joking around about human brains and walls being the same, I don’t want to be compared to Lady QP. Killing a carrot and killing an animal may be the same on molecular, atomic and nuclear levels. However, on an experiential level I believe that killing plants and killing animals could not be more dissimilar.

I have no way of knowing if a carrot feels anything when plucked from the ground and eaten. Perhaps carrots do feel pain, perhaps they don’t. However, I’ve seen many videos of non-human animals getting killed and they behave in the same way that I would behave if I were getting tortured and killed. They struggle and cry out just as I would. Of course, I don’t know for certain if this suffering is real, just as I don’t know if I’m real, or if time is real, or if anything else is real. I could be living in virtual reality like in the movie The Matrix for all I know.

However, just as I assume that gravity is real and my own pain is real, I will assume that the suffering that goes on in factory farms is real too. For if I don’t assume that animal suffering is real, then I will come to ignore the plight of non-human animals and I will stop speaking out for the innocent beings who are getting killed by the billions and the suffering will continue.

Thank you Kimberly, for setting me straight. I will never again make a joke about living things and inanimate objects being the same. I can only hope that Lady QP will also learn to think about non-human animals on experiential levels first and think about quantum physics second.

Sticky the Stickman April 24, 2010

If you visit my website www.johnsakars.com, you can see a sculpture I created called Sticky the Stickman. (Sticky is also on the front cover of this book.) I constructed the rough sculpture in 1998 with scrap wood, and then spent the next four years refining it by gluing sticks (with vegan glue) all over it, until it was finally complete in 2002.

In 2004, I wrote a children’s story called Sticky the Stickman. For your reading pleasure, I will share this story with you in this blog. Then, after this story, I will share a brand new story about Sticky the Stickman.

I had fun writing the children’s story about Sticky. However, I always had an urge to write a naughty story about him. As a big, muscular looking creature made of wood, I knew he had great potential as an erotic character.

Please don’t be naughty and skip to the second story. You need to read the children’s story first, to learn how Sticky came to life. If you’d like to read the children’s story to a child, feel free. Just remember that the second story is not suitable for children.

Sticky the Stickman

By John Sakars
2004

A wise person once said, “One person’s junk is another person’s treasure.” Johnny Junk was an artist who believed those words to be true. Johnny collected all sorts of junk: pop cans, bottle caps, cardboard and scrap wood. Then with string and nails, glue and screws, Johnny put everything together into colourful, whimsical creations. Today, Johnny stared at a thick pile of sticks by his garage.

“Now what if I could, would I make out of wood?” Johnny said. Then, like a charging buffalo, the greatest idea ever raced to the front of Johnny’s imagination.

“I’m going to make a creature made of sticks. Part man and part tree. With a head like a wolf. What a sight that will be!”

Johnny grabbed a big bottle of vegan glue and got started right away. He made a tall skeleton from old boards, and then glued sticks all over the place. One hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four. Five hundred, six hundred, seven hundred more. Some sticks became hands, some sticks became feet. Some sticks became face, until almost complete. Johnny soon ran out of sticks, but fortunately he lived in a huge forest with hundreds of trees. He picked up sticks from the ground, as he would never even think of harming a tree. He picked up fat sticks, thin sticks, straight sticks, crooked sticks. Then, under a massive maple tree, Johnny spotted a shiny silver stick, poking from the earth. He pulled it out and wiped off the dirt.

This was no ordinary stick. Johnny could tell someone had carved this stick for something special a long time ago. When Johnny got back home, he glued the stick onto the creature’s chest, where his heart would be. Johnny then glued two round rocks onto the creature’s face for eyes, and a bunch of pointy rocks for teeth. After the last tooth was in place, Johnny glued more sticks all over until the creature was complete.

It stood even taller than Johnny and had muscles upon muscles. Johnny washed the sticky glue off his hands and said, “I’m going to name you Sticky, because of all the sticky glue and because you’re made of sticks. Sticky the Stickman—that’s your name!”

Even with his big teeth and muscles, Sticky was a friendly-looking creature. Johnny glowed with pride. This was one of his best creations yet. He went to bed a very happy artist that night. Johnny was still smiling when he woke the next day. However, when he went to the kitchen, he saw a sight that made his heart jump like a scared rabbit.

Sticky was shuffling around the kitchen, looking for food! His wooden arms and legs creaked like an old rocking chair on a rickety porch. Then Sticky turned, and his eyes of rocks stared right at Johnny. Johnny saw a silvery light shining from deep inside Sticky’s chest, where Johnny had glued the shiny silver stick.

“That stick is like magic,” Johnny said. “In fact, it isn’t even a stick at all. It’s an ancient magic wand. And now, you’re alive!” Johnny smiled the biggest smile of his life. “You’re looking for food, aren’t you, Sticky?”

Johnny had no idea what to feed a stick man for breakfast. He gave Sticky some toast, oatmeal and oranges, but Sticky didn’t like any of it. Then Johnny looked out the window at a tree growing from a muddy hill.

“Dirt! That’s what trees eat. That’s what a man made of trees would eat too."

Johnny filled a bucket with dirt and made mud pies, just like when he was a little boy. He cheered as Sticky gobbled everything up.

“That was tree-rific,” Sticky said, rubbing his belly.

“Oh my, you can talk too?” Johnny said.

“I guess I can,” Sticky replied. Then Sticky burped and a ball of magical smoke puffed through his teeth, coming from the magic wand in his chest. Johnny laughed and stepped back. “You have to say, ‘Excuse me’, when you burp, Sticky. You sure have a lot to learn. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you all about the world.”

Johnny spent the whole day teaching Sticky how to sing and dance, read and write, cook and clean, and everything. Sticky learned fast, too. But when Sticky wanted to go outside, Johnny said, “No Sticky, not yet. I’m afraid you're quite different from everyone else around here. People might not know what to think of you. Don’t worry, though. I’ll take you out soon.”

“OK, Johnny,” Sticky said. “That will be tree-rific!”

The next day, Johnny had to go downtown to work on an art piece for a client. He told Sticky to stay inside. However, Sticky was far too curious about the world outside. As soon as Johnny left, Sticky stepped out the back door and walked off into the forest behind Johnny’s house.

“Hello tree. How are you?” Sticky asked one of the mighty maples. The tree didn’t answer. Sticky turned to a cedar sapling. “Hello, little one. How are you today?” Once again, the tree didn’t respond. “Well, I guess everyone’s still asleep,” Sticky said.

After a few minutes, Sticky walked into a sunny field. Two little boys played on a teeter-totter, while a little girl played on a swing. Sticky walked up excitedly, but stopped when he saw everyone’s frightened faces.

“Oh no, a monster!” one of the little boys shrieked. He threw a stone and hit Sticky in the chest, and then all the children ran away.

Sticky didn’t know what to do. He decided he’d better go home. His legs were too stiff for him to run, but he walked as fast as he could. A minute later, he spotted a river through the trees. He smiled at the rushing water, and then frowned as he saw candy wrappers, chip bags and pop cans. He turned to the evergreen beside him.

“Why were those kids afraid of me? And why is all this garbage by the river?” Sticky asked. Then he turned to his left and saw the biggest tree in the whole forest. He smiled at the sticky sap on its massive trunk. “Were you glued together too, just like I was?” Sticky grabbed one of the tree’s branches as if he were shaking its hand.

“Hi tree. My name’s Sticky. Sticky the Stickman. I love you, tree.” Sticky looked up and saw birds and squirrels, all living in the tree. “The animals aren’t afraid of you, tree. Well, maybe if I stay still like you, they won’t be afraid of me either.”

And so, Sticky did just that. He held out his arms and stayed as still as a tree. Suddenly, a bird landed on his shoulder. Then a squirrel scurried up his back and sat on his head. “Hello bird. Hello squirrel.”

Sticky visited all sorts of wildlife for hours, until he remembered that Johnny was going to be back soon. He said good-bye to his new friends and marched back home.

“Well, how was your day, Sticky?” Johnny asked when he got home from work.

“Oh, it was fine,” Sticky said. “I just sat around and read a book.”

Sticky felt terrible about lying. He decided that tomorrow he’d clean up all the garbage by the river, and then everybody in town would love him. Then he’d be allowed to go outside all the time and he would never lie to Johnny again.

The next morning, Johnny had to go out to work again. Right away, Sticky grabbed two garbage bags and raced to the river. Storm clouds hung overhead and a light rain sprinkled down on Sticky’s head. Sticky followed the river to where all the garbage was. Then he donned rubber gloves, opened a garbage bag and got to work.

He cleaned for over two hours, snatching every speck of garbage he could spot, and filled two whole garbage bags. He smiled with pride, before a meow from above got his attention. A fluffy grey cat was stuck up in a tree.

“Meow, meow,” the cat said, pacing on a branch above Sticky’s head. Sticky stepped forward slowly, so he wouldn’t scare the cat. He reached way up to the branch, then stayed as still as a tree. He held his breath and waited. Sure enough, the cat crept onto Sticky’s hand and climbed down his back, all the way to the ground. Sticky jumped for joy.

“Yeah, you’re free, kitty. You’re free!” The cat ran off into the woods. Sticky feared his cheering had scared the poor kitty. Then Sticky froze as still as a tree again, when he saw what had really scared the cat. A burly, shaggy dog and a tall, bearded man lumbered along beside the river. Sticky closed his eyes and mouth to look even more like a tree. Even when the dog walked right up, sniffed Sticky’s leg and went pee on Sticky’s leg, Sticky stayed as still as could be. When the man and dog finally left, Sticky rushed to the river to wash off his sticks.

“Doggy pee all over me!” He soaked his leg for many minutes, until something happened that made him shiver with fear. A clump of sticks fell off his leg, floated down the river and vanished over the falls! He grabbed his leg before any more sticks came off. He felt soggy, like the water had soaked right through all his sticks and glue.

“I’m going to fall apart,” Sticky cried. “I have to get dry, fast!” he grabbed the garbage bags and hurried home. Every step he took, he feared more sticks would fall off. When Sticky got home, he threw the garbage bags into the garage, grabbed some sticks and a bottle of glue, and went to the living room. He turned the heat up full blast and sat on the floor by the vent. He glued some sticks onto his leg, then just sat there and waited. After a while, the glue began to dry. The rest of him slowly dried out too and he sighed with relief. He promised himself he would never go out in the rain, ever again.

By the time Johnny finally got home, Sticky was almost dry and very happy. Johnny didn’t look happy, though.

“My neighbour just said he saw a strange creature sneaking around outside. Sticky, do you know anything about that?”

Sticky bowed his head. “Yes Johnny, it was I. I’m sorry, but I went outside for a good reason. Here, come see what I did.” Sticky showed Johnny the two garbage bags.

“I was out for a walk and I saw all this garbage by the river. It made me sad, so I went back and picked everything up. Now it’s clean down there and the forest is happy. Also, I found some cans and bottles you may want for your art.”

Johnny smiled brightly and gave Sticky a big hug. “Wow Sticky, you sure did a lot of work. I bet the forest really is happy. I’m very proud of you. I wish everyone cared about the forest as much as you.”

“Oh, I love the forest,” Sticky said.

“I do too, Sticky. Hey, I know I’ve been worried about what people are going to think of you. But once everyone gets to know you, they’ll love you as much as I do. How about tomorrow, after I get home from work, I’ll take you out to meet everyone?”

“Really?” Sticky said. “That would be tree-rific!”

The next day, Sticky was so excited he bounced around the house like sticks on a set of drums. He hoped everyone in town would be friendly. Then he heard someone tapping on the kitchen window and he saw a friendly face. It was the squirrel from the forest.

“Hi, my little friend. How are you?” Sticky said. The squirrel pointed at the forest and chattered and jumped about. Sticky could tell something was wrong. He went outside and followed the squirrel into the forest.

“What’s wrong, little squirrel? Is someone in trouble?” Sticky said. He followed the squirrel all the way to the river. Then he saw the children from the playground standing by the shoreline, screaming out into the middle of the river. The boy who had thrown a stone at Sticky was now clutching onto a rock, less than fifty feet from the brink of the waterfall. Sticky looked at the water and shivered with fear, but he knew he had to try and help the little boy. He walked right past everyone and jumped into the river.

Sticky’s head went under and he choked on the water. He didn’t even know how to swim. He thought he was going to drown. Then, like magic, his whole body sprung to the surface. He started floating, just like a log. “I can swim!” he shouted. “I can swim!” He paddled out to the rock and the little boy climbed onto Sticky’s back. Sticky swam for shore, but the river was too strong. It pulled Sticky closer and closer to the brink. Then, just as Sticky was about to go over the falls, he felt the magic wand glow warmly in his chest. He suddenly became as strong as an elephant. He spotted a branch by the shore. He reached out and grabbed it. The little boy hung onto Sticky’s neck, as Sticky pulled himself clear out of the water and up into the tree. He climbed down onto the shore and the children cheered, “You saved him! Hurray!”

Sticky smiled and waved to everyone, but he had to get home fast. His sticks were so soaked with water, he felt twice as heavy as normal. He dragged his soggy feet through the forest, step by step. When he finally got home, he lay on the floor by the heat vent. He felt like a big pile of goo and he worried more sticks would fall off. But after several hours, he finally dried out again. “I’m going to be OK,” he whispered, as he drifted off to sleep. “I’m going to be OK.”

By the next day, everyone in town had heard about Sticky. The mayor gave Sticky a medal for bravery at City Hall, and everyone came out and cheered. The mayor said, “Now I know why Johnny Junk really named you Sticky. It’s because when someone is in a sticky situation, you’re always happy to lend a hand!”

“Thank you, Miss Mayor,” Sticky said. “I hope to grow deep roots in this town. And I promise to always lend a branch to anyone in need. I don’t mean to get too sappy, but it’s my be-leaf that you are all compassionate people. I hope that together, we can all keep this town safe and clean, and make everything tree-rific!”

OK, that’s it for the children’s story. Now it’s time for story number two. Remember, THIS STORY IS FOR ADULTS ONLY! Please stop reading if you are under 18, or if you feel you may be offended by sexuality.

Sticky’s Special Friend

By John Sakars
2010

“Sticky, I have to go to work,” Johnny Junk said after he and Sticky finished breakfast. “I’ll be gone all day long. It looks like it’s going to rain. Make sure you stay inside. We don’t want you getting wet.”

“OK, Johnny. I’ll stay inside and I won’t get wet,” said Sticky. “Have a good day!”

“Thanks, Sticky. You have a good day too,” Johnny said on his way out the door.
Sticky put all the breakfast dishes into the sink, and then wondered what he was going to do today for fun. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. It was Miss Mayor.

“Hi, Miss Mayor,” said Sticky. “It’s nice to see you again. Come on in!”

“Thank you, Sticky,” said Miss Mayor. She and Sticky sat on the couch. “Sticky, I just came over to thank you once again for saving the little boy yesterday.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure, Miss Mayor,” said Sticky. “I am happy to help anyone in need.”

“Really, Sticky?” said Miss Mayor. “That’s great to know. I happen to have some needs of my own. So, where is Johnny Junk?”

“Oh, he’s going to be gone all day long,” said Sticky. “He has a special art project to make, somewhere miles away.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. Johnny sure knows how to make some wonderful art,” Miss Mayor said, as she put her hand on Sticky’s muscular thigh. “You don’t mind if I admire you, do you Sticky?”

“You can admire me all you want. That’s why Johnny made me. I’m a work of art.”

“Sticky, I’ve always appreciated art. My, what big muscles you have.” Miss Mayor rubbed her hands all over Sticky’s body. “Sticky, you’re one of the best works of art I’ve ever seen. However, I’m also a bit of an art critic. Perhaps I should have a really close look at you, and see if there’s any room for improvement. Hey, let’s go somewhere a little more comfortable.”

Miss Mayor took Sticky by the hand and led him into Johnny Junk’s bedroom.

“OK, stand right here, Sticky. Let me have a good, long look at you.” Miss Mayor sat on the bed and examined Sticky. “Yes Sticky, you are a fine work of art. However, I’ve found one area that could be improved.”

Miss Mayor reached into her bag and pulled something out.

“What’s that, Miss Mayor?” asked Sticky.

“Sticky, you’re a man, right? I mean, that’s why Johnny calls you Sticky the Stickman, correct?”

“Yes, Miss Mayor. I’m a man.

“Excellent. Come here,” Miss Mayor said.

Miss Mayor strapped something onto Sticky’s crotch. Sticky looked down and smiled at the rubber appendage poking out from between his legs. “What is this thing, Miss Mayor?”

“Well, your name is Sticky the Stickman. So, I brought you a stick. This is a very special stick. You can use this stick to help me with my needs. Here Sticky, lie down on the bed.”

Sticky did as he was told. Miss Mayor took off all her clothes and climbed on top of Sticky. “Sticky, we’re going to play a special game. This is called The Bouncy Game. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.” Miss Mayor eased herself down onto Sticky’s new stick. “Look Sticky, your special new stick is inside of me. You’re really a man now, Sticky. You’re my special friend now."

“That’s tree-rific!”

Miss Mayor began bouncing up and down on Sticky. She soon began moaning.

“Miss Mayor, are you OK?"

“Yes Sticky, I’m OK. Those are my happy noises. I make those noises when I feel very, very good.”

Sticky smiled. He was glad Miss Mayor was enjoying The Bouncy Game. A sheen of sweat formed on Miss Mayor’s chest. She was getting quite the workout indeed. Soon, Sticky felt Miss Mayor getting very wet between her legs.

“Miss Mayor, please don’t get me too wet. I have problems when I get too wet."

“I know, Sticky,” Miss Mayor said. “We’ll get you dried up after we’re done.”

Miss Mayor began bouncing very fast. “Oh Sticky. Oooh Sticky!”

“What, Miss Mayor? What’s wrong?” Sticky began to feel that he and Miss Mayor weren’t really playing a game at all. He felt like they were doing something very naughty. He tried to pull free.

“No Sticky, don’t move,” Miss Mayor begged. “I need you Sticky. Be a good boy. Please!”

Sticky felt very nervous, but he stayed put. He hoped Miss Mayor was almost done her bouncing. She was bouncing faster than ever. Then suddenly, Miss Mayor screamed. Sticky felt something squirt from between her legs. He thought Miss Mayor was peeing on him. He did not move, though. He was afraid to move. Miss Mayor’s eyes rolled back. She looked like she was possessed. Then finally, she stopped bouncing. She collapsed on top of Sticky.

“Oh, Sticky,” Miss Mayor said in between breaths. “Oh, Sticky. You are such a good man."

“OK. Well, thanks,” said Sticky. “Hey, did you um, pee on me?”

Miss Mayor laughed. “No Sticky, I didn’t pee on you. You just made me very happy, that’s all. Sometimes, when a man and a woman have lots of fun together, things get a little bit wet, that’s all. Don’t worry, we’ll get you all dried up."

After Miss Mayor and Sticky cuddled for a few minutes, Miss Mayor grabbed a towel and dried Sticky off.

“Thank you, Miss Mayor,” said Sticky.

“Oh, that’s my pleasure. You helped me with my needs, like a very good man. Hey, how about I make you a big mud pie?”

“Sure, Miss Mayor. That would be tree-riffic!”

“Good, Sticky. But first, you have to make me a promise. Don’t tell anyone that I came over today, OK?People might be worried about us playing together. But you know that I would never play too rough, right?”

“I know, Miss Mayor. You’re a nice lady.”

“Thank you, Sticky,” Miss Mayor said. “You’re a nice man, too. I know we’re going to have lots of fun together. You’re my special friend.”

Miss Mayor made Sticky the biggest mud pie he’d ever had. Then they went back to Johnny Junk’s bedroom. This time they played a different game. Miss Mayor taught Sticky how to wiggle his middle back and forth. Then, Miss Mayor got down on all fours like a doggy. Sticky got down on his knees and put his special new stick inside Miss Mayor. Then he wiggled his middle back and forth, just like Miss Mayor had taught him.

My Thoughts on Religion April 21, 2010

In 1995, as a journalism print student at Niagara College, I wrote an editorial about my thoughts on religion for the school newspaper, Niagara News. My editorial was called Philosophical Musings. I think it’s interesting to see how our thoughts evolve over time. In the fifteen years since I wrote this editorial, my thoughts on religion have changed in some ways.

I’ll print this editorial as it appeared in the Niagara News. Then, I will tell you how I feel about religion today. OK, here is the editorial:

Niagara News, February 17, 1995

Philosophical Musings

In the beginning, religion was invented to give human life meaning and to make us feel special.

It was an easy product to sell, after all, who wouldn’t want eternal life in a world of peace?

Religion offered an explanation for this complex universe around us. An answer that was fixed, unquestionable and easy for all to understand.

Then, along came science—life for the inhabitants of planet Earth would never be the same. Through science, we had a way to unravel the mysteries of nature. And each discovery gave birth to a whole new set of questions.

The universe is so complex, it will probably never be fully understood, but that’s what makes life so interesting.

Life is about challenge and discovery—pleasure comes from learning. The universe reveals its mysteries very slowly, so countless generations to come will have a chance to experiment, learn and grow.

Science has created a global village, put a man on the moon, and will soon send mankind to venture to the stars. Leaving Earth may one day be the only way to find out more about ourselves.

I was an atheist, who believes there is no God, but I have since become agnostic, believing the existence of God is not provable (the theory of an afterlife defies all logic, but who knows).

Whether there is a God or isn’t, is beyond me, but as the saying goes, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t.”

If indeed there is a god, wouldn’t He want you to use the brain He gave you to form your own opinions and philosophies about life in the most imaginative way you can, rather than blindly obey the preachings of those who say you’re going to hell if you don’t.

I don’t have a problem with religion—it can be very comforting to those who need it. But don’t be so ignorant as to dismiss the discoveries of science, simply because your ego won’t allow you to believe that you descended from apes, and live on an inconsequential mote of dust in a vast cosmic arena.

John Sakars

OK, that was my editorial. In hindsight, I think I ripped off the part about an “inconsequential mote of dust in a vast cosmic arena” from Carl Sagan. However, I said what I had to say, and at the time, I was proud of these words.

Unfortunately, I didn’t become a vegan until I was twenty-seven. If I’d been a vegan in college, everything I'd written in the school newspaper would have been about veganism! However, at the time, I was reading a lot about science, and it bothered me that so many people seemed more interested in religion, than in science.

Today, I’m still agnostic. I haven’t developed any super powers that would enable me to fly up to the clouds and search for omnipotent beings. So, I still have absolutely no idea whether or not God exists. However, as far as the existence of God is concerned, I would no longer say, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t.”

I now admit that I have no right to say that God probably doesn’t exist. How can I make such a statement? How do I even know that I exist? By making statements that suggest God doesn’t exist, I’m being just as pompous as religious people who say God definitely exists. All of us humans have to admit that we have no idea whether or not god exists. For all we know, we could all just be in a big video game right now. (A very sick video game. There’s entirely too much violence in this game!)

I’ve been very fortunate in my life. I’m almost forty, and I still haven’t suffered any tragic losses. All my grandparents are dead, but thankfully they passed at ripe old ages after fulfilling lives. I’ve also never suffered through any difficult experiences in my life. I’ve always had a warm bed to sleep in, food to eat, and clean water to drink. I’ve been as fortunate as anyone could ever hope to be. So I personally haven’t had any need to believe in the existence of an afterlife or a God. However, what about those who haven’t been so fortunate?

I now think that religion can be a great tool that people can use to find comfort. I think if I lost someone special, I would love to think that I may get a chance to see that person again in some sort of afterlife. I think if I were terminally ill or facing execution and it seemed like there was no hope for me, it would comfort me to believe there was another life waiting for me after I left Earth. If I were being physically and emotionally abused, and I had no one to talk to, I think it would be wonderful to think that God cared about me, and that God would help me escape from my pain.

I now have a much more open-minded opinion about religion. I no longer feel like I need to suggest that there is no God and no heaven. What I tend to say now is this:

“Believe whatever you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone.”

With so much pain and suffering taking place on planet Earth, I can understand why so many people are religious. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to believe that after you die, you’re finally going to have some peace and quiet. So go ahead, believe whatever you want. If you want to believe that after you die, you’re going to a world where everything is made of chocolate, go for it.

Yes my friends, believe whatever you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone. I know many atheists would disagree with this opinion, and say that religion is complete nonsense and has no place in our modern world. On one hand, I would tend to agree with you. On the other hand, it may be easy for us to say religion is silly, because we’re presently living the good life. Well, what about someone who isn’t living the good life?

If a guy fell into a thresher and got his legs cut off, and then his family died in a fire, and then he got sentenced to die in a gas chamber because he was mistaken for a serial killer, and he received comfort from the thought that perhaps heaven existed, and you were to tell him that he was stupid for believing in heaven, I would pull you to the side and say, “Hey, cut the guy some slack, for fuck sakes!”

So yes, I think that sometimes religion can be a good thing. Sometimes, I think it’s OK for people to believe whatever they want. However, there’s a second part to my stance on personal beliefs. There’s a part where I say, “ . . . as long as you’re not hurting anyone.”

Is there anyone who would have a problem with those words? Are there people who think it’s a good idea to hurt others? I know we’d all agree that in certain situations, we may need to hurt others. For instance, if you’re getting assaulted, you certainly need to defend yourself. If you’re playing a contact sport, hurting others is sometimes an unavoidable part of the game. But what about hurting others when it’s totally unnecessary? Is that ever OK?

Most of you would probably think it’s wrong to cause unnecessary suffering. I do believe the rule about not causing unnecessary suffering is called The Golden Rule: Do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you.

I like those words. Let’s all agree to live by the golden rule. I wouldn’t like to get my throat slit, and so I won’t slit your throat. Sound good? Good.

I’m sure you like to think that you live by the golden rule. But, do you really? Do you really refrain from slitting the throats of others?

Unless you’re a serial killer, you probably avoid slitting the throats of human beings. However, the word “others” includes more than just human beings. Non-human animals are “others” too. Do you avoid slitting the throats of chickens? Pigs? Turkeys? Cows?

Sometimes I fantasize about living in a vegan paradise: a world where all human beings practice the golden rule for real. Unfortunately, most people don’t presently think of non-human animals, when they think about practicing the golden rule. They may not be slitting throats themselves. However, they are wilfully paying other humans to do the throat slitting for them.

Sickeningly enough, some people eat chicken and call themselves vegetarians. Can you believe that? In the minds of some people, a chicken is a vegetable. Well, I have news for you. A chicken is not a vegetable. A chicken is a creature who wants to live, just as you want to live.

One day, planet Earth will be a peaceful place. Planet Earth will be a place where all humans practice the golden rule for real. Fortunately, many people around the world are working hard every day, spreading a message of compassion. Every time you promote veganism, you’re practicing the golden rule. You know that if you were a chicken in a cage, you’d want human beings working hard to help liberate you. You’re treating others as you’d like to be treated.

I know I have some friends who mock religion. I myself have been guilty of mocking religion. I know there are many horrible things done in the name of religion, and I don’t blame you for criticizing various religions. I’ve seen images of people holding signs that say GOD HATES FAGS. I read a book called The Stoning of Soraya M, about a woman who was buried to her waist and had stones thrown at her by her own family in the name of religion, until she was dead. I’ve read headlines about priests molesting children. However, I’ve also seen a lot of good done in the world in the name of religion.

We all know there are many religious groups who have helped human beings in distress, all around the world. However, there are also religious groups who help non-human animals, by promoting veganism. They know that when you practice the golden rule, you need to realize that all beings, whether human or non-human, are in fact “others”.

Some may say that religious people who do good deeds are only doing good because they think they are going to heaven. However, the fact remains that these religious people are spreading a message of compassion. Even though I’m agnostic, I’d feel closer to a religious vegan than an athiest who’s a carnist. If I had to spend thirty days with a family other than my own, I’d rather be with a religious family with a cruelty free kitchen, than be in the home of athiests who have corpses in the fridge.

Whether you’re promoting veganism because you think God wants you to, or whether you’re promoting veganism because you just think it’s the right thing to do, as long as you’re promoting veganism, you’re making the world a better place.

Vegan Paradise April 19, 2010

I often wonder what life will be like in the future. Due to the fact that technology grows exponentially, it’s hard for me to imagine our future world. Will mind uploading be a reality? Will my consciousness be able to survive indefinitely? I hope so. All I know for sure is that there is entirely too much suffering going on in our present world, and this suffering has to stop.

There are millions of human slaves in the world today, forced to work in mines, sweatshops and farms, under the threat of violence. They’re working as prostitutes, maids and beggars, for free. There are in fact more human slaves in the world today, than ever before in history. There are of course more non-human animal slaves in the world today too, than ever before in history. Billions of animals are raped, tortured and murdered every year by human beings. Animals are eaten, experimented on, used for entertainment and used for clothing, as if they are material objects and not thinking, feeling beings.

There is more suffering happening on this planet today, than ever before in the history of planet Earth. In fact, it’s hard to imagine another planet in the entire known universe that has ever had more suffering going on. I know it’s uncomfortable to think about all of this suffering. I know some of you wish humans would all just drop dead. I know some of you wish you could go live on another planet. I can’t fault you for feeling distressed about planet Earth. If beings from another world wanted to visit our solar system, I would say, “You don’t want to come to planet Earth. This place will depress the hell out of you. Go somewhere peaceful. Mars seems nice.”

I also know many of you are working very hard to spread a message of compassion. You’re distributing leaflets about veganism. You’re demonstrating outside of businesses that sell fur. You’re researching companies before you spend your money, so that you avoid supporting corporations that harm the environment or exploit humans and non-human animals.

Sometimes, you may get discouraged. You may feel that you’re not making a difference. However, you are making a difference. You’re planting seeds in the minds of your fellow human beings. Sometimes it takes a while for those seeds to germinate. For instance, let’s say you offer a lady a leaflet about veganism, and she says, “No thanks”, and walks away. You may feel that you didn’t reach that person, right? Well, what if she saw the image of the pig on the front cover of that leaflet, and that image remained in her head? Then, what if she saw someone wearing a T-shirt that said, “Go Vegan”, later that day? Then a week after that, what if she saw a letter to the editor about veganism, and she finally decided that maybe someone somewhere was trying to tell her something?!

Some of the seeds you plant may germinate in one minute. Some may germinate in five years. Some may never germinate. However, we must keep planting seeds, because that’s what living is all about. We are here to teach each other. We are here to learn from each other. We are here to grow together.

I’m excited by the fact that we are living in the age of information. People around the world have unprecedented access to information they can use to learn and grow. The internet is full of information about cruelty. The internet is also full of information on how to combat that cruelty, through compassionate living. You can find vegan recipes. You can find out about vegan potlucks taking place in your community. You can read about all of the different things you can do to be a compassionate, environmentally friendly person.

I know things may get a lot worse on this planet, before they get better. As more and more people around the world strive to live “the good life”, they will order their cheeseburgers, drive their gas guzzlers, drink their soda pop and buy stuff they don’t need. However, I remain optimistic. I think that as a species, we will grow up. We will learn that there’s a story behind everything we buy. We will learn that between the two sesame seed buns, there was a being (or rather several different beings, in the case of ground beef) who wanted to live. We will learn that the Tshirt that says, “I’m with stupid”, was made by a child who wanted to go to school, but was forced to work in a sweatshop. We will learn to vote for compassion with our money, instead of voting for cruelty.

If you are in support of the slavery of human and non-human animals, I hope this blog is giving you something to think about. If you choose not to support slavery, I thank you for living the vegan lifestyle. I long for the day when everyone chooses compassion over cruelty, just like you.

What will it be like, to live in a world populated by vegan humans? What will it look like, to live in a world with no dogs chained alone in backyards, horses pulling carriages or whales locked up in tanks? What will it sound like, to live in a world where no Earthlings are crying for freedom? What will it smell like, to live in a world where no one is barbecuing one of your friends? What will it feel like, to know there are no humans using sentient beings for experiments, clothing, food or entertainment? What will it taste like, to live in a world with clean drinking water and fresh organic plant foods available for everyone?

I don’t know what it will be like to live in this world. However, I’d suspect it would be easier to breathe. Easier to sleep at night.

I don’t know how long it will take, for all humans to become vegans. However, I know I’d love to live for at least one day in this world. I hope you will still be alive, when the world is a vegan paradise, too. I urge you to take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise and get enough rest. Realize that we need you helping to lead the world to a more compassionate tomorrow. Realize that you matter. You are a vegan superhero!

Let’s work together to make the world a vegan paradise!

Love Your Body Unconditionally April 18, 2010

In 2008, I self-published a book called John Sakars Nude. It’s forty pages long and includes eighty-one photographs of me sans clothing. All of the photos were taken by Anne Nawrocka, from Mississauga, Ontario. The book also includes two pages of text about the photo session. It was never my intention to try and sell a great number of copies of this book. In fact, if I were to compile a list of things you should spend your money on, a copy of my book of nude photos would probably be near the bottom of the list. Fortunately, the entire book is now available for your viewing pleasure online for free. No trees have to die. As a fun sort of game, I won’t tell you where to find the photos. You can just use some search engines and practice your research skills.

The next nine paragraphs are taken directly from my book John Sakars Nude:

“Hello, my friend. Now that you’ve seen me naked, perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is John Sakars, and I’m an artist, writer and musician from Niagara Falls, Ontario. I love being creative, and I’m always searching for new ways to express myself. Though I’ve used my body to express myself through performance art, I never imagined I’d be taking my clothes off for a photographer. However, I love a challenge, and I was curious if I could be uninhibited in front of a camera. So once I decided to try nude modelling, I immediately sought a photographer.

I met Anne Nawrocka at an art show a few years ago. She’s an artist, graphic designer and photographer, and though I’m no expert in any of those fields, I consider her to be quite talented. I e-mailed her about my idea of posing nude, and she agreed to photograph me. I was thrilled. I immediately started trimming my pubes!

A few days later, Anne arrived at my home. She set up a backdrop, huge lights and a tripod, and transformed my little living room into a photography studio. I was very appreciative, to say the least. However, as show time approached, I also felt a touch nervous. I hadn’t been naked in front of anyone in about five years. Thankfully, Anne is a pro, and my nervousness dissolved within a minute after I undressed.

Just as a doctor looks at naked patients strictly from a professional point of view, so too did Anne. Once I realized she was about as nervous as she would be if she were photographing a bowl of fruit, I relaxed. She put on music, which relaxed me even further, and I just let my mind and body work together to express myself.

After all the nude photos, I was happy to apply the body make-up to cover the red dots I had from shaving my body. I now wish I would have had more of a game plan, regarding the application of the various colors. However, all in all, I was happy with the effects I achieved. Near the end of the shoot, it kind of looked like some of my skin had peeled off, revealing the muscle (or lack thereof) underneath. Finally, over 800 photos later, it was time to hop into a warm bath. I felt confident Anne had taken some good shots, and when we took a look at the photos, I was thrilled with the results.

I guess the thing that surprised me the most about the photos, was how feminine some of my poses were. Fortunately, I see no problem with a man being in touch with his feminine side. I was also a little surprised that I was biting myself in several of the photos. Perhaps all that posing had stimulated a craving for physical interaction, thus prompting me to be physical with myself by biting my flesh. And slapping my butt.

By the way, some of you may think that I must be in love with myself, to have produced such a book. I would respond by saying yes, I am in love with myself. I have to spend every second with myself, for the rest of my life, so I would certainly hope that I am indeed in love with myself. However, I’m not full of myself. I just consider myself to be an adventurer, and creating this book was a great adventure. I don’t know if I’d ever pose nude again, but I’m glad that I did. Life is full of possibilities, and I’d never want to rule out anything. I may not be able to become rich and famous from any of my creative endeavours, but whether I entertain one person or one million people, I’m just happy to be entertaining myself.

Well, I’d love for you to look at all these photos. But if you know me, then you know there’s no way I would ever produce a book without mentioning my favourite topic: veganism. The adoption of a vegan diet is the simplest, most effective thing you can do to help yourself, animals and the environment. I’ve been a vegan for eleven years, and I still consider the decision to become a vegan, to be the best decision I’ve ever made.

In conclusion, I’d like to thank Anne very, very much for doing me this enormous favour. If any of the photos have any artistic merit, much of the credit goes to Anne. I'm very fortunate to have her as a friend, and I wish her continued success in all that she does.”

OK, so those nine paragraphs are from my book. Now I’ll share some thoughts with you since I had the book printed.

Reactions to the book have varied widely. The most negative reaction came from my art teacher. She seemed amazed that I had actually thought it was a good idea to make such a book. She asked me how much money I’d spent on the ten copies of the book, and when I said $270, she said I should have donated that money to charity. I started to feel that perhaps she was right.

However, after further contemplation, I began to feel better about my book. Some people spend a lot more than that on a vacation. With my nude book, I had sort of taken a vacation from being myself. I had stepped far out of my comfort zone. Creating the book was a liberating experience. I had felt sexy, and creative, and powerful during the photo session, and I was proud of the pictures. I thought the photos captured aspects of my personality that had never before been captured, and I was glad to have them printed in book form, for posterity.

Most people reacted positively to the photos. My mother lives in a retirement village and she showed many of the seniors my book, like the proud mother she is. I also brought the book to work with me when I worked at a hotel, and showed the Serbian housekeepers. They asked why I had created the book, and I said it was just another form of art I had wanted to create. They seemed fine with that answer, and they didn’t treat me any differently afterwards.

A friend of mine recently said he knows I don’t like any barriers in the way of my creativity. He’s exactly right. For instance, if I wanted to, I could have let several different barriers stop me from posing nude and publishing photos of myself nude. I could have said the following to myself:

"I’m not attractive enough. No one wants to see a skinny man nude. I could lose out on job opportunities if someone sees photos of me nude. I could lose friends. People will think I’m gay. People will think I’m crazy. People will laugh at me."

Fortunately, I didn’t let any limiting beliefs stand in the way of my creativity. I created the book and I’m proud of it. As far as I know, nothing negative happened as a result of me posing nude and making a book, either.

I’m in an enviable position regarding my creativity. I’m surrounded by supportive friends and family members who will always love me, and so I don’t worry about what the public at large thinks about me. I realize that you may be in a situation that doesn’t allow you to be so free and open. You may have friends or family members who would judge you. You may have a career that requires you to be more conservative. However, regardless of your situation, it’s important for you to love your body unconditionally.

I love my body unconditionally, and I’m happy to allow the world to see my nude photos. Regardless of whether or not you would ever pose nude, you should love your body too. Don’t say, “Well, I would love my body if I lost ten pounds.” You must love your body now! All we have is the present moment, and so all you have is your present body. Give yourself a hug. Look in the mirror and admire your beautiful body. Love your body unconditionally.

You Can Perform Anywhere April 17, 2010

Have you ever seen people auditioning for reality TV shows like American Idol? I’ve seen people cry as if their lives were over after they failed to impress the judges. Perhaps these people dreamt for years of becoming big stars and they thought the TV show was the big break that would launch them into international stardom.

For many years, I dreamt of stardom myself. I played drums in many different rock bands with the goal of eventually becoming a rock star. I performed in clubs and had a lot of fun, but I never did become a full-time musician, let alone a star. However, I’m happy to say that I no longer need to perform with rock bands in clubs in order to get the rush that comes from performing. I now realize that there are stages everywhere.

On April 9th, 2010, I was invited to my alma mater, Westlane Secondary School, to speak about environmentalism. Before I began my talk, I sang a song I wrote called Appreciate. After all, environmentalism is all about appreciating planet Earth.

I sang my song and did my absolute best to entertain at least one person in that gymnasium. There were five hundred students in attendance, and I feel confident in saying that I definitely did entertain at least one person. (Just look up John Sakars on YouTube, and click on the video called Singing “Appreciate” at My Alma Mater.)

If you think that you are too shy to perform in front of a large group of people, don’t worry. When I attended Westlane as a student, I was very shy too. I ate my lunch in a cubicle in the library, in order to avoid the big crowds in the cafeteria. I once had to deliver a speech and afterwards I overheard a student say, “I didn’t even know he could talk.” However, in the twenty years since I graduated from secondary school, I built my courage by speaking in front of small audiences. I will now tell you about three times when I was in my thirties, when I performed for audiences in the most unlikely places. I hope to inspire you to perform in front of others, too. Over time, you can build your confidence to levels you never imagined.

First, I will tell you about the time when I performed at the Children’s Discovery Centre of Niagara. I worked there for a couple of years as the artist in residence. One time, I felt like performing a comedy sketch I had written.

With about ten minutes left in our work day, I invited three coworkers to come down to the children’s play area where there was a stage. I hopped onto the stage and performed my sketch, which had a message about being kind to animals. I jumped around, made animal noises, removed my fake tooth, and was completely uninhibited. Everyone clapped afterwards and I felt great. Even though I’d only performed for three people, I left work that day a more confident person.

Now, I will tell you about the time when I performed at a concrete factory. After the discovery centre ran into financial trouble, I needed a job and my stepfather got me a job at a concrete factory. I had to lift patio stones all day long. One day, I was feeling sad about doing such difficult work, so I decided to cheer myself up. I told my coworkers that at lunch time, I was going to put on a show. I did the same comedy sketch that I had performed at the children’s centre. There were only six people in the audience, but I did my best to put on a great show. Everyone laughed. Even the Serbian men who spoke little English laughed, because I was so animated. They urged me to perform again, and so I went home and wrote a new sketch. A week later, I performed a routine about tying your shoelaces and they all laughed again. They even took up a collection and gave me a few bucks for making them laugh. I may have been in a dirty factory, but I felt like a star.

Finally, I will tell you about the time when I performed at a hotel. I worked in the housekeeping department as a room attendant for about sixteen months. All of the employees in my department were Serbian women. I was slow and sometimes got behind in my work, but the ladies were kind and often helped me get caught up. There were several women who spoke very little English. To make the job more interesting for myself, I carried around a little notebook and made notes whenever someone taught me a word or phrase in Serbian. By the time I neared the end of my employment at the hotel, I had learned quite a bit of Serbian. I decided that it would be fun to write a song in Serbian, all about working at the hotel. At home, I got out my acoustic guitar and wrote a song called Prljava Soba. Translation: Dirty Room.

One day, I brought in my acoustic guitar and decided to surprise everyone with my song during our lunch break. The song was all about a day in the life of a room attendant. I knew these ladies worked extremely hard in order to provide for their families and I wanted to show them that I respected and admired them. I sang with emotion and when I finished playing, they all cheered enthusiastically. There were about fifteen women in the little hotel room and once again I felt like a star. A few of the ladies said, “That’s it, you’re Serbian.” During the afternoon break, they asked me to sing the song one more time. I was more than happy to oblige. (A video of me singing this song is also on YouTube. Just type in my name on YouTube and click on my video Prljava Soba.)

In addition to performing at places where I’ve worked, I’ve also performed in living rooms and in various public places. If I hadn’t developed my courage by singing in front of small audiences, I don’t know that I would have had the courage to sing in front of 500 people at my alma mater.

When some people say they want to be a star, they may envision travelling around the world, making lots of money, and being adored by millions of people. If you dream of international stardom, then I encourage you to work hard to make your dreams come true. However, the best part of being a performer, is performing. The good news is that you can perform anywhere. As William Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage.”

If you like to sing, dance, act, or tell jokes, then do it! Embrace your creative side and share your passion with the world!

I Killed for Vanity April 16, 2010

When I was twenty-two, my brother did a weightlifting workout in an apartment he and I were renting. I looked at a muscle magazine that he had purchased and saw women in bikinis standing beside muscular men. I decided that perhaps I should lift weights too.

For the next five years, I was obsessed with lifting weights. I bought a weightlifting bench and weights. I bought muscle magazines. I bought bodybuilding supplements. I worked out very hard. Unfortunately, I also ate the same diet as all of my bodybuilding heroes.

The muscle magazines said that animal protein is best for building muscle. All of my heroes ate tuna, egg whites, chicken breasts and lean cuts of beef. So, I ate all of those foods too. I ate thirty grams of animal protein every three hours. Tuna was cheap, so I ate at least one can of tuna every day. I hated the taste of tuna, but I ate it anyway. One time, I read about a bodybuilder who mixed tuna with apple juice in a blender. This seemed like a good idea, so I followed this advice. To this day, a tuna and apple juice smoothie is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted.

One time, I looked at my watch and saw that it had been three hours and fifteen minutes since I’d eaten some animal protein. I was in a car with my brother and I begged him to pull over when I saw someone cooking hotdogs in front of a Canadian Tire store. Another time I was having dinner at my father’s house and he asked if anyone wanted the last chicken breast. My brother reached out for it, but I grabbed it from his hands and shoved it into my mouth like I was starving. Going more than three hours without eating animal protein was unthinkable. In fact, sometimes I’d even get up in the middle of the night to eat.

I went from a bodyweight of 155 pounds, right up to 195 pounds. I found it hard to gain muscle without gaining fat too, so my weight gain was probably about half muscle and half fat. However, I was just thrilled to have gained a great deal of strength.

Then one day, after five years of eating like this, I talked to a co-worker who said she was a vegan. She said that her mother had died of cancer and that the consumption of animal products was known to cause cancer. I was shocked. All the muscle magazines had told me that animal products were good for me. I decided to do some research of my own.

I went to the library to research animal products and spotted a book called Old MacDonald’s Factory Farm. I began reading this book and was shocked at how cruel factory farms are to animals. I began to feel guilty about all of the animal products I’d been eating.

I told my family members about factory farming and was disappointed to discover that no one seemed to care. However, I knew that I was going to be making some big changes in my lifestyle.

I became a vegetarian. Then a couple of months after that, I became a vegan. I began to see animal products for what they were: the corpses and excretions of tortured beings.

Fortunately, many vegan bodybuilders are now showing the world that it’s possible to build muscle on a vegan diet. Unfortunately, most bodybuilders still base their diets around animal products.

I recently researched some of the bodybuilders that I used to idolize, and discovered that many of them are dead. I’m not surprised. The consumption of animal products causes chronic diseases. However, even if animal products were good for you, and the consumption of animal protein was the only way to build a significant amount of muscle, it’s still wrong to kill. Imagine for a moment that humans and chickens could talk to each other.

Human: Hi chicken. My biceps are presently only seventeen inches in circumference. My goal is to build them until they measure at least eighteen inches. I’m afraid you have to die, because it’s been three hours since I ate animal protein.

Chicken: I don’t want to die.

Human: Well, that’s too bad. The only reason why God created you, is because you’re good for my muscles. I’m a genetically superior being and you need to do as I say. Stay still so this guy can slit your throat. I would kill you, but I don’t want to get my hands dirty.

Chicken: I don’t want to die. Go eat some beans instead.

Human: No. Learning about plant-based sources of protein would require that I use my brain. I don’t want to use my brain.

Chicken: I’m not food. I’m your friend.

Human: No you’re not. You’re a chicken. My friends are human beings like me. My friends wear the latest fashions, own shiny gadgets, and drive cars with loud stereos. All you are is a source of protein. You don’t have any hopes or dreams. The only reason you exist, is to serve me in my time of need. Well, I’m needy right now. My stomach is grumbling. If I don’t eat you within the next ten minutes, I run the risk of my body burning muscle tissue for energy. There’s no way I’m letting that happen. I have dreams of eighteen inch arms and I’m not letting anything stand in the way of my dreams. I’m tired of having sex with women who would settle for a guy with seventeen inch arms. I want to stick my penis into women of quality, and the only way that’s going to happen is if I have eighteen inch arms.

Chicken: I don’t want to die.

Human: Too bad.

If you think the human sounds selfish in the above conversation, that’s because he is being selfish. Non-human animals are not sources of protein. They are sentient beings who should be treated with respect. I applaud anyone who wants to lift weights. However, I don’t applaud anyone who thinks he or she is justified in eating my friends. I urge you to research vegan bodybuilding. Some of the biggest, strongest animals on earth—like elephants, cows, gorillas, and giraffes—build muscle with plant-based foods. You can build muscle on a vegan diet too.

Tempeh, tofu, beans, whole grains, nuts and seeds are excellent sources of protein. In fact, all plant foods have protein in them. It’s actually impossible for you to not get enough protein, as long as you eat a variety of foods. However, if you’re still worried about not getting enough protein in your diet, you can always buy vegan protein powders from the health food stores.

Build muscle the compassionate way. Adopt a vegan diet today!

Masturbation in the Workplace April 13, 2010

Every day around the world, corporations lose money because people are masturbating when they should be working. I myself am guilty of workplace masturbation. Today, I will tell you about three times when I masturbated at work.

The first time I masturbated at work, was when I was a cook at a fast food restaurant. I don’t want to get sued, so I’m not going to tell you what chain I worked for. I’ll just say I cooked fried chicken.

One day when I was 16, my boss had to leave early, so she asked me to lock up. As soon as she left, I immediately felt like doing something naughty. I didn’t want to steal anything or snoop around. In fact, all I wanted to do was have an orgasm. The idea of masturbating in the same place where my sexy coworkers had been standing, excited me.

Even though I was a carnist, I had no desire to stick my penis into a chicken corpse. So instead, I looked at the condiment section to see what turned me on. Honey mustard sauce seemed like the sexiest condiment we had, so I grabbed a little package of this sauce. I didn’t learn until years later that honey is actually bee vomit (bee vomit that we have no right to use, because we have no right to steal anything from bees or any other beings). So, having no idea of the origin of the sauce in my hand, I happily spread bee vomit all over my penis.

I stood behind the counter beside the French fry station and masturbated. Fantasizing about my sexy coworkers, I quickly achieved orgasm. I immediately felt like a degenerate as I wiped the semen and bee vomit off the floor. However, I was unable to take back what I’d done, so I just cleaned up and went home.

Another time I masturbated at work, was when I worked on a boat. I won’t say what boat I was working on, but I will say that there was a waterfall or two in the vicinity and the occasional corpse floating down the river.

Sometimes, while riding down the river on a boat with hundreds of tourists wearing transparent rain coats, I’d see a woman who was sexually stimulating. Sometimes I’d just take a mental picture of the woman and masturbate when I got home. Other times, I just couldn’t wait. So, I’d take care of my business in the bathroom on the boat.

I didn’t feel too guilty about masturbating on the boats. I knew other coworkers masturbated on the boats, or did much worse things—like drugs. One guy used to go into the washroom, lift the hatch off the bathroom floor, and smoke marijuana in the ballast tanks at the bottom of the boats. One time the captain of the ship went into the bathroom, completely unaware that a deck hand was smoking up right underneath his feet. One guy claimed to have actually had sex with his girlfriend on the boat. I don't know if he was lying or not. He also claimed to have a tattoo of a spider on the end of his penis, so he was either a good liar, or one very cool dude.

My last story about masturbation in the workplace happened while I was working at a hotel. I won’t say what hotel, but I will say the hotel was in the vicinity of a waterfall that may or may not have been near a boat where young men occasionally masturbated.

One day, I was working in housekeeping, cleaning rooms. There happened to be a group of nuns staying on my floor. Actually, I think they were still in nun school. The maintenance department had disconnected the cable from all of the TVs, just in case the student nuns saw something that made them want to masturbate, I’m guessing. Anyway, I was in one of the rooms and one of the nuns had thrown her pantyhose into the garbage.

OK, just in case God is reading this blog and she is ready to kill me, I’m happy to say that I did not remove the pantyhose from the garbage can. I did not sniff the crotch area, or rub the pantyhose on my genital region, or anything like that. All I did was stare at the pantyhose for a few seconds, from a distance of about six feet away. I think this is all the proof that you will ever need, that I am a decent human being. The odds of finding a pair of student nun’s pantyhose in a hotel room is probably about one in a billion, and I didn’t so much as touch them. I’m probably more proud of that fact, than anything else in my life!

I did in fact masturbate while thinking about the student nun’s pantyhose, but I waited until I got home.

Well, I probably just fucked up my chances of ever getting hired to work at a restaurant, or on a boat, or in a hotel, ever again. Potential employers are probably going to think that all I do is spray my semen everywhere all the time. But that’s OK. I don’t need to work for some shitty fucking corporation. I’m going to be a famous writer, artist and musician. If not, I’ll just go live in the woods somewhere by myself. Maybe I’ll find a nice tree to cuddle with and rub my dick on.

If you’ve ever been at work and felt like a freak because you wanted to masturbate instead of do your job, now you know you aren’t alone. People are masturbating in the workplace all around the world right this very moment. Yes, corporations are losing money because people are pleasuring themselves instead of doing their jobs, but that’s OK. Most corporations are evil anyway.

Shitty Days April 11, 2010

Have you ever shit your pants? Have you ever shovelled shit? I have. Yes, I’ve had my share of shitty days. However, I’m not the only one. In fact, Earthlings all around the world are having shitty days right now.

Fortunately, there’s hope for these unfortunate Earthlings. Read about two of the shittiest days of my life, and then I’ll tell you how you can do your part to help put an end to shitty days for billions of beings.

First, I will tell you about the time I shit my pants (many years after I had stopped wearing diapers). I was about ten years of age and had gone with my stepfather and little brother to see NHL hockey players play slow pitch. About an hour into the first game, I left to go to the bathroom. There was a big line of men waiting to urinate. I waited and waited, then finally made it inside the bathroom, only to find there were no doors on the stalls. I knew this would pose a problem. I sat on the toilet and all the guys who had to urinate stared at me.

One time at home, my brother had grown impatient with me as I sat on the toilet, so he had finally just urinated all over my thighs as I defecated. Now, sitting here in front of all these men, I knew there was no way I’d be able to relax enough to have a bowel movement. So, I just pretended to wipe my butt and scooted out of the bathroom.

I sat beside my stepfather and continued watching the game. I had never cared about baseball before, but now I wished desperately for batters to strike out and fielders to catch hits. I wanted the game to end as quickly as possible. I squeezed my butt cheeks together, terrified that I was going to shit my pants right there beside my stepfather. Finally, the game ended. As we walked out into the parking lot, I continued to squeeze my butt cheeks. However, to my dismay, I simply could not keep my feces inside my body any longer. I shit my pants. I felt a ball of dung roll down my leg.

Fortunately, I hadn’t completely lost my cool, though.

What happened next was one of the smoothest moves of my life. Without breaking my stride, I kicked my leg out slightly to the side at the exact moment the ball of shit rolled out of my pant leg. It had been tightly packed and it scurried off under a car without anyone seeing a thing.

I hoped there had only been one ball of shit. However, as I sat down in the car, I realized there was still a great deal of feces in my underwear. My stepfather began driving. A moment later, he said, “Who farted?”

“I did,” I said. To this day, that’s the fastest I’ve ever admitted to “farting”.

We got home and I rushed into the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I was thrilled to know that I’d been able to keep the whole thing a secret.

Now, I will tell you about the time when I shovelled shit.

I had a friend who had a property restoration business. He used to pay me $10 per hour, but one day he called and said he had a “special job” for me, and would pay me $15 per hour. He drove me to the house we had to clean. I got nervous when I learned that the people weren’t living in the house because the smell was so bad. We went into the basement and I put on a one-piece work outfit to protect my clothing. My boss then gave me some rubber gloves and a paper dust mask. He left, saying he had to go to another job site.

I climbed through the opening in the wall and crawled into the space under the house. There was a sewage pipe that had broken and the crawl space was filled with feces. I used a little garden trowel to scoop up the shit and put it into small, heavy duty plastic bags. I immediately realized my little paper dust mask was completely inappropriate for the job at hand. I should have been wearing an actual gas mask, at the very least. If the people weren’t even living in the house because the smell was so bad, you can imagine what the smell was like in the hot little crawl space under the house. I was hunched over, my rubber boots covered in shit, filling the bags with excrement as fast as I could. I began dry heaving inside my mask, the smell was so dreadful.

I concentrated on staying calm, so that I wouldn’t vomit inside my dust mask. Then, after I’d filled about eight bags with shit, I pulled the trowel free and accidentally flicked some feces into my eye. I was horrified! I scrambled out of the hole, took off my gloves and washed my eye out in the laundry room sink. I was worried I was going to get an eye infection or get sick. After I felt my eye was as clean as I could get it, I found a jar to urinate into. Then, I got back into the hole. I had filled sixteen bags with feces by the time I was done.

As soon as my boss came back, I said, “If you ever have another job involving any kind of feces, do not call me.”

Once I got back home, I called a nurse and told her about the feces that had been in my eye. She said I should be OK. After I hung up, I began to laugh about the whole thing. I felt like I had been in hell.

Now, I realize I wasn’t experiencing a hellish situation by any means.

Sitting in shit during the ride home from the slow pitch game wasn’t fun, but I was able to clean myself when I got home. Smelling the horrible stench of feces and urine in the crawl space wasn’t fun either, but I was able to escape after a few hours. I was able to look back on those close encounters with shit and laugh. However, for billions of beings around the world, there is no escaping from shit. There is never a time to get cleaned up.

Animals in factory farms stand around in shit all day, every day. Their feet rot from standing in manure. The air is so saturated with methane, ammonia and other noxious chemicals from feces, that cows, pigs and chickens suffer ammonia burns and respiratory diseases. These tortured beings can’t clean up before supper or bedtime, either. They eat, sleep, urinate and defecate in the same place.

For farmed animals, one shitty day is followed by another shitty day, and then another. What is the reward, for living through all of those shitty days? There is no reward. Only death.

The only good news to come out of all this shit, is that the shit remains with the animal corpses always. The shit never gets washed off. That’s right. If you ate meat today, you have shit in your belly right now. I believe that’s called poetic justice.

I hope to avoid shitting my pants again, for as long as possible. I hope to never shovel shit again, either. However, we all have shitty days occasionally, and that’s OK. Shitty days can build character. For farmed animals though, shitty days do not build character. Shitty days only cause immense suffering.

The next time you look at a piece of animal flesh in the grocery store, imagine the stench of ammonia and methane. Imagine manure rotting your feet. Then, make a decision to leave the filthy hunks of corpse alone, to rot on the grocery store shelves in peace. Say NO to shitty days. Say YES to veganism!

Keep Your Elbows Off The Table! April 4, 2010

I recently had dinner with a group of carnists. On the table sat a big hunk of flesh from a dead pig. Everyone took a slab of rotting corpse and began eating. I helped myself to some of the baked beans and potatoes, after making sure those items were vegan. I ignored the little boy to my right as he bit into the remains of the murdered creature. Suddenly, I heard a man say to the boy, “Get your elbows off the table. That’s rude.” The little boy did as he was told, and proceeded to eat his entire serving of cadaver.

We live in a world where billions of innocent beings are raped, tortured and murdered every year. But at least the leaders of tomorrow are learning at a young age, that it’s rude to put your elbows on the table.

My Job at a Meat Plant April 4, 2010

When I was twenty years old, seven years before I became a vegan, I worked for three months at a meat plant. No, I wasn’t an undercover investigator looking to catch cruelty on video. (The animals were already dead, skinned and gutted by the time they got to our plant.) I was just a regular employee. Actually, my partner and I were two of the most important employees at the plant. We were the night cleanup crew. We had to make the place clean enough to pass a government inspection five days a week. It was truly disgusting work. However, I needed to pay my rent and so I did the job. I cleaned up blood.

Now as a vegan and animal rights activist, I sometimes watch videos of people working in slaughterhouses, slitting throats and spilling blood. I can understand how they get desensitized to blood and violence. After all, I had been desensitized to the stench of death myself.

As I sit here today, almost twenty years after I worked in the meat industry, it would be easy for me to say that I'm not as guilty of cruelty to animals as the people who actually killed the animals. However, I was just as much a part of the whole nasty business. After all, the workers at the plant wouldn’t have been able to cut the carcasses into steaks and such, if I hadn’t done my job. In fact, one day my partner and I didn’t clean the plant well enough, and we failed the government inspection. We got called into the plant and all of the workers stared at us angrily as they cleaned the spots that we had supposedly not cleaned well enough.

My tools at the meat plant were power sprayers and mops. However, as far as being a part of systemized animal cruelty, I may as well have been holding stun guns and knives.

Does the circle of guilt include more than just the people holding stun guns, knives, power sprayers and mops? Of course it does. In fact, the guiltiest people of all are the ones holding knives and forks. Without the people buying animal corpses, the meat industry would not even exist.

The day my partner and I got called into the meat plant because we hadn’t passed the government inspection, was the day when my friend and I quit working at the meat plant. We’d had enough of the dirty, stinky place. I was grateful to wash the blood off my hands. However, it wasn’t until seven years later, when I became a vegan, that I truly washed the blood off my hands for good.

If you eat meat, I urge you to wash the blood off your hands too. Adopt a vegan lifestyle today!

P.S. The carcasses had already been bled at the slaughterhouse, before they arrived at the meat plant. If you’re creating a mental image of what it was like to work in the meat plant, you’re probably imagining way too much blood. There really wasn’t as much blood as I may have led you to believe. However now, after all these years of being a vegan, I feel differently about blood. I think that even one drop of blood is entirely too much blood, when we’re talking about the murder of sentient beings.

Dangerous Toys April 3, 2010

I once had to clean a house where bodies had burned. The stench was nauseating. I worked with a guy who had been trained in crime scene clean-up. I’ll tell you what it was like to be in the home of a murderer. First, I’ll tell you about the time when I myself had aimed a weapon at someone.

I’ve always been a crafty guy. As an adult, when I get the urge to be crafty I’ll paint or make a collage. However, when I was in my early teens I enjoyed making weapons.

I loved watching ninja movies. Ninjas dazzled me with their weaponry. At elementary school I got bullied. So when I became a teenager, I thought it would be great to make some weapons. I’d stash various ninja tools around my house, in case I ever needed to defend myself. (By the way, if you’re guessing that I didn’t have any girlfriends during this period of my life, you are of course guessing correctly!)

I made some weapons I was proud of, from things I found around the house. Using a hack saw, I cut a throwing star from a piece of steel. I made a ninja sword from a long piece of scrap metal, sharpening it on my friend’s dad’s grinding wheel, and engraving designs on the blade with an engraving tool. I also made nunchakus, a blow gun and spears. When no one was home, I’d run around the house pretending to be a ninja. I threw the star into the front door. I stabbed the sword through the wood panelling in the rec room (which my mom later called the “wrecked room”). I practised swinging my nunchaku all about, being careful not to hit myself. I even practised using other items as weapons, like my stepfather’s pool cues. I threw the cues like spears and stabbed them into the walls. Then, before my parents came home, I hid my weapons. I had a special hiding place for my sword. I cut a whole into the side of my mattress and slid the sword inside the cavity. If any bad guys ever came into my bedroom, I’d be ready.

My absolute favourite weapons to make were bows and arrows. I found big, flexible branches, then bent them into a bow shape and tied electrical cords to them. Then to make the arrows, I cut the heads off of nails and used electrical tape to attach the nails to straight sticks. Then I collected feathers from around the property of a neighbour who had pigeons, and I taped the feathers onto the branches. Finally, I’d cut little notches into the ends of the arrows, slide the cord into the notches, draw the arrows back and watch them fly. They flew straight and far. I’d shoot them into trees or fences, or shoot them straight up to see how far I could make them fly.

One day, I was near some bushes at the back of the yard and I saw a bird. I pretended I was a hunter and aimed the arrow right at the bird. The little creature was only about six feet away. I thought about what it would be like to let my arrow fly and kill a creature. Then I looked into the bird's eyes and I smiled. I knew that there was absolutely no way I could kill an animal. I felt proud of myself for not being a killer.

I can’t remember what I had for supper that night, but there was most certainly some kind of corpse on the dinner table. I’m sure I ate that flesh too, without thinking for one second about where that flesh had come from. I may very well have had chicken in my mouth as I sat there, rejoicing in the fact that I wasn’t a bird killer.

Around the age of fifteen, I lost interest in making weapons. However, I continued eating meat, oblivious to the suffering I was causing. Then finally, at the age of twenty-seven, I learned all about factory farming. I realized that I was a bird killer after all (as well as a cow killer, pig killer, etc.) I became a vegetarian and a couple of months later I became a vegan. I told everyone in my family about veganism, but no one seemed to be interested in the least. However, I still loved my family and I will continue to love everyone, even if they never adopt a vegan lifestyle.

I continued to be friendly with all of the carnists I interacted with in my daily life. If someone denounced veganism, I was patient with that person. I realized that if I had that person’s genetics and life experiences, I’d be denouncing veganism too. Then one day, I got myself into a situation where my ability to feel empathy would be tested like never before.

I was struggling to make my living as an artist, and a friend offered me a job for a couple of days. All I had to do was wipe down some walls where there had been a fire. That sounded easy, so I agreed to do the work. I got to the house and the stench that met my nose was atrocious. Then I went into the basement and I saw something even more offensive than what I smelled. I saw deer heads mounted on the walls. I saw photographs of hunters posing beside dead deer. In one photo, three deer hung upside down from a swing set, their blood draining into buckets as the hunters smiled. We brought the cleaning products into the house and began wiping down the walls. I asked my co-worker what had happened.

The hunter’s wife had been boiling chicken corpses in a pot on the basement stove. The corpses were old, so she had been cooking them for her husband’s hunting dogs. She had left the house and forgotten about the stove. When she returned home, the house had been full of smoke. The pot had boiled dry and the chickens pieces had been turned into charcoal.

The man I worked with had been trained in crime scene clean-up. He said he had once worked at a house were a human being had been turned into charcoal. He said the smell of burnt human flesh was the same as burnt chicken flesh.

I thought to myself, “Serves you right. You like to kill, and now you got what you deserve. Your house smells like death.”

I didn’t want to remove the stench of death from the house. I wanted the hunter and his wife to have to live with the smell. However, I was getting paid to do a job, and so I did the job. For three days, I wiped the walls with the cleaning products, over and over again. At one point, I opened a basement closet and saw slabs of carcass covered in spices, hung up to dry. I grimaced, shut the door, and just kept on cleaning.

The hunter’s wife was kind to the workers cleaning her house. She made lunch for everyone. I told her I was a vegan, and she made me a fantastic salad. After three days of cleaning, the house still smelled horrible. I began to feel bad for her. She realized she’d have to get her house painted, before she’d have any chance of getting rid of the smell.

On the last day, I told her that as an ethical vegan, I was against hunting and it was hard for me to be in a house with deer heads on the walls. She said she understood, and she appreciated how hard I had worked to make her house smell better. Before I left, I had a chance to meet her husband. He thanked me for all the work I’d done. I felt like sharing my thoughts on hunting, but I said nothing. On the way home, I regretted not speaking to him about hunting. I wondered if his wife would say something to him about the fact that I was a vegan and that I didn’t like him killing innocent beings. I guess I kept quiet, because I had been paid to do a job and hadn’t wanted to cause trouble for the man who had hired me.

So, there you have it. Those are my two experiences with hunting: I once aimed my homemade arrow at a bird and felt no desire to kill, and I once spent three days trying to rid a hunter’s home of the stench of death.

To me, weapons were toys that I outgrew. I’m glad I learned there were better things to make with my hands, than weapons.

I hope that hunters everywhere will outgrow their own dangerous toys. Maybe in some parts of the world, during some periods of human history, humans have needed to kill animals in order to survive. However, for almost all modern hunters, killing is just a way to live out a fantasy, or to feel superior to someone else, or to compensate for a small penis.

Some people pray for hunting accidents. I will admit that when I hear of a hunter dying, I don’t feel any sorrow. However, I don’t hate hunters. In fact, I feel sorry for people who get satisfaction out of destroying innocent, beautiful beings. Please hunters, outgrow your dangerous toys. Find more constructive ways to spend your time.

An Unexpected Adventure Energized Me April 20, 2010

A few years ago, I worked for six months at a concrete factory. We made some benches and bird feeders, but mostly we made patio stones. It was the most physically demanding job I’ve ever had. I had the least seniority, so I had to do the most lifting. One guy poured the concrete into the molds, another guy smoothed out the concrete once it was in the molds, and then I lifted the molds off the end of the line and stacked them onto skids.

I was the smallest guy at the factory by far. My coworkers said that when they’d first seen me, they’d thought I would last two days at the most. They told me about a bodybuilder who had only lasted one day and then quit. I felt proud of myself for not quitting.

After I’d been working there for two months, I had an art show and got interviewed by a reporter. I told the reporter about working at the factory, and how sore my back and fingers were. The reporter added this information into his story. After my coworkers read the newspaper story the next day, they spent the whole day complaining about how sore they were. “Oh my fingers! Oh my back!”

Whenever we made patio stones that were too big for one guy to move, another guy would help me. The first ten or so molds were relatively easy to move. However, once the stack started getting high, my anxiety would begin peaking too. We needed to blast the molds up off the table like Olympic lifters, to get the last few molds to the top of the stack. I’d always breathe a sigh of relief when we got the last mold onto the stack. The stack would then get wheeled away, and the whole process would repeat over and over again. If you could have mapped my stress levels during the day, you could have known exactly how many stacks of big patio stones we had made, by counting the spots where my stress peaked.

As far as I knew, it took every single bit of my physical strength to get the last mold onto the top of each stack. If the patio stones had been one pound heavier, I would have said, “There’s no way I can lift that.”

Then one day, I had an adventure after work. I’ll save that part until the end of this story. First, I’ll tell you about what happened at work the next day.

I went to work after only about four hours of sleep, after my night of high adventure. We had to make the big patio stones, and I was very nervous. I had barely been able to stack the big molds after eight hours of sleep. I thought there’d be no way I could possibly stack the molds after only four hours of sleep.

However, we began stacking the molds and I felt great. Then, as we stacked the top few molds onto the first skid, I could hardly believe what was happening. The molds practically flew up in the air, onto the top of the stack. I couldn’t understand how I had become so strong all of a sudden. Then I realized that the reason why I was so strong, was because of what I had done the night before. My night of high adventure had energized me.

As I worked that day, enjoying my newfound strength, I realized I had been feeling depressed during my previous days at the factory. I had felt like my art career was going nowhere. I had felt like a failure. I had felt bored too, having not done anything exciting in a long time.

I realized how much our energy levels are tied to our mental states. I realized that it wasn’t possible to feel down, and have lots of energy at the same time.

Sometimes, we can’t always know if we’re feeling as good as we could be feeling. I hadn’t known that a negative mindset had been keeping me from operating with maximum energy. Maybe right now, you think you’re feeling fine. Maybe you’re eating well, exercising and getting enough rest. Maybe you think you’re feeling as good as can be. Or maybe you could use a night of high adventure too, to really energize you.

I’m not telling you to get yourself into a dangerous situation. I’m not suggesting you do something that may involve you having to get rescued by the police. However, I am saying that perhaps you need to step outside of your comfort zone. Perhaps you need to feel some adrenaline. Perhaps you need to get some endorphins pumping through you. Perhaps you need to interact with another human being, or interact with nature. Perhaps you need physical, emotional, and spiritual interactions that will make you feel truly alive.

I don’t know what you have to do to feel alive. Maybe you need to dance, sing, paint, sculpt, hug, kiss. All I know is that you need to get high on life while you’re still alive.

OK, you may be curious at this point, about my night of high adventure. Did I get myself into a dangerous situation? Did I have to get rescued by the police? Did I interact with another human being and with nature in exciting ways? Yes. Yes. Yes!

My night of high adventure started off smoothly. Anne, an artist friend from Mississauga, had come to visit me in Niagara Falls. We were hiking in the Niagara Gorge. She had brought her camera and was taking pictures down by the water. It started getting late and I said we had better start heading back to the top. I grew up near the gorge and had been down there many times. Unfortunately, it got dark fast and I lost my way on the path. It quickly became so dark, I couldn’t see a thing. Anne set off the flash on her camera occasionally, illuminating the forest. However, the light didn’t last long enough for us to be able to figure out which way to turn.

I felt like I was in a horror movie. Have you ever seen a movie where the people are somewhere very dark, and suddenly lightning flashes, revealing the killer standing there with a knife? Well, the camera flashes were like lightning. I didn’t see any killers standing there with a knife. However, the trees looked menacing. In fact, the forest which had looked so peaceful was now the enemy. The trees stood all around us, keeping us trapped in darkness.

Anne wore short pants and a tank top. Branches scratched her exposed skin. Mosquitoes sucked on her blood. However, I worried most about her feet. She walked over rocky terrain as we struggled to find a path, and all she wore were flip flops. I feared she’d twist her ankle, or stumble and fall. I began to feel awful about the predicament I’d got us into.

Anne stayed calm for the first while. However, as it became clear what we weren’t going to be able to escape, she began to get upset.

“It’s 10:30. I have to get home. I have to work in the morning,” she said. I could hear her voice trembling slightly. I felt like an idiot. All she had wanted to do was take a few pictures, and now she was going to have to spend the entire night lost in the woods. Another mosquito bit her. I offered her my shirt for protection, but she said she was fine. I assure you that I wasn’t trying to seduce her in the woods, by offering to get half naked for her protection.

Finally she said, “That’s it. I have to call the police.”

I hung my head in shame. I was beyond embarrassed. At the same time, I knew she was right. I was glad she had her cell phone with her. Of course, it’s probably a rule among women to always have your cell phone on you when you’re alone in the woods with strange men!

She called and kept getting through to the parks police on the U.S. side of the river. Finally, she got in touch with the Canadian side.

I don’t know how long we waited exactly, but less than an hour later we heard the parks police. We kept saying, “HELLOOO”, until they found us. They led us out of the gorge. I was worried that we were going to get charged for being in the park after dark, but they understood that I had just made an honest mistake. The officers asked for Anne’s license and took down her information, just for their records.

As Anne drove me home, I kept wondering what I would have done if her cell phone hadn’t worked, or if she had got injured. However, by this time Anne was just laughing about the whole incident. In fact, she looked forward to telling some of her friends about what had happened. I was relieved that she didn’t hate me. Anne and I are still friends to this day almost three years later.

Of course, I hadn’t intended to step outside of my comfort zone that night. I had intended to just go for a casual stroll. However, due to my own stupidity, my friend and I experienced a night I won’t soon forget. Plus, after experiencing so much excitement, I got to become energized. I got to feel more alive than I had felt in a while.

Like I said earlier, I’m not saying you should put yourself in dangerous situations. However, I urge you to seek experiences that make you feel alive. Sometimes you can be down and not even realize it. I think we all need to experience adventures once in a while.

Our ancestors experienced adventure on a daily basis, as they got hunted by dangerous predators. Fortunately, most of us don’t have to worry about non-human animals killing us. (Farmed animals kill people every day with a little something called cholesterol, but that’s another story.) However, there are countless ways for us to step outside of our comfort zones and find excitement. Take a dance class. Face your fear of public speaking. Have an awesome masturbation session.

Whatever you have to do to feel alive, do it!

My Most Beautiful Sexual Experience January 4, 2010

What does a beautiful sexual experience look like? Does it involve a man and a woman, married to each other, making love for the purpose of procreation? Sometimes. Other times, a beautiful sexual experience looks quite different. Today, I’m going to tell you about the most beautiful sexual experience of my life.

I’ve been fortunate to have had sexual relationships with women. However, I’m not going to write about a sexual experience with a woman. I don’t think it’s polite to kiss and tell. In fact, I’m going to tell you about my most beautiful masturbation session.

OK, I’ll bet I can guess what some of you are thinking: “There’s nothing beautiful about some guy jerking off.” On one hand, I would have to agree with you. I have no desire to even think about a man masturbating. I personally would rather think about a woman masturbating. Aha!

You’re getting wise on me aren’t you? You know where this is going don’t you?

As a young lad I enjoyed watching The Muppets. The Muppets made me laugh. Well one day, I saw an episode that made me do anything but laugh. It was an episode where the guest star was Raquel Welch. There was one sketch in particular where she wore a small dress and danced with a monster. I wish someone could have taken a picture of my young face when I saw that lady dance. That was the moment when I turned from a boy into . . . a boy who thought ladies were awesome!

One day after that, I saw an episode of Gilligan’s Island where Ginger was belly dancing with a thin veil over her eyes. A short while after that, I was playing hide and go seek and I hid behind the drapes in the living room. The drapes were made of sheer material that I could see through. The material reminded me of Ginger’s veil and sexy costume. I looked through the drapes and felt like Ginger, looking through her sexy veil. I pretended that the drapes were Ginger’s sexy costume and I touched my leg and butt and pretended I was touching Ginger.

I don’t remember masturbating that day. In fact, I think that day took place probably a couple of years before I actually learned about masturbation. However, that moment stuck with me, because I learned how powerful imagination is. I was able to touch Ginger’s leg, even though Ginger only existed in a two-dimensional form on my TV screen.

Years later, after I had begun masturbating, there were a few times when I would tuck my genitals between my legs so that I looked like a woman. Then, I could pretend that I was touching a woman as a sort of foreplay before I got down to business. I had no desire to be a woman. I just wanted to touch a woman. As far as I knew, there weren’t any women who would let me touch them, so I acted as a stand-in.

After a while, I was able to acquire some porn magazines and I stopped being a stand-in for my sexual fantasies. Instead of touching various parts of my body and pretending I was touching a woman, I would just touch my penis while focusing my eyes on the images in the magazines.

In adulthood, I had sex with two different girlfriends over the years. Then when I masturbated, I just masturbated in the traditional manner, with my penis in one hand and a magazine in the other. Then one day I learned about the sexual practice of sticking a finger in your butt while you masturbate. When I did this, I pretended that I had my finger inside a vagina. I did this a few times, but I always felt a little strange afterwards. I felt like I had violated my body a little bit. I felt like if my butt could talk, it would say, “Dude, keep your fingers out of me. Playing with your butt is gay.”

So, I just went back to masturbating in the traditional way. Then one day, I was very bored with masturbating in the traditional way. For some reason, I got the idea in my head that I wanted to experience what it must be like, to experience sex as a woman. I don’t remember exactly what I used for a “penis”, but it was some kind of metal bar with a rounded end on it.

I lay down on the floor and brought my knees up towards my head. I lubed up the bar and slid it into my “vagina” (anus). Then I just used my imagination. I pretended that I was a woman getting fucked. I closed my eyes and made soft little moaning sounds, just like a woman. This got me excited and my penis became erect. I really wanted to start stroking my penis, so I did. However, I also wanted to keep pretending to be a woman getting fucked, so I did that too.

OK, you know where this is going too, don’t you?!

I switched back and forth, imagining I was a man fucking a woman as I stroked my penis, and then imagining I was a woman getting fucked by a man as I slid the bar in my butt. I switched my focus back and forth, faster and faster, until finally, I was both people at the same time! I was a man fucking a woman, at the exact same moment that I was a woman getting fucked by a man!

You know where this is going too, don’t you?

I felt like I was fucking myself! You know how people will say, “Go fuck yourself!” Well, I really was fucking myself! My inner girlfriend and my inner boyfriend were having sex with each other! My yin and my yang were in the missionary position, making beautiful love together! I started crying, the experience was so beautiful!

Finally, I had an orgasm. Then, something interesting happened. My inner girlfriend immediately disappeared. My inner girlfriend and my inner boyfriend didn’t cuddle afterwards. They didn’t talk about their hopes and dreams. My inner girlfriend left without saying good bye. Then I eased the steel bar out of my butt. My butt wasn’t too pleased with me.

“John,” my butt said, “I thought we had an agreement. What the heck were you thinking? Don’t stick anything in me again.”

Now, I’m fantastic at remembering details (as you’ve probably guessed by now), but I’m not terribly good at remembering when things happened. So, I couldn’t tell you when this event took place. But I will tell you that I’ll never forget this day.

In the years since this happened, I may have shoved a finger in my butt at some point. I’ve masturbated so many times, I could never remember every experience. But, I haven’t done anything like I did that day.

I’m not saying I’ll never stick anything in my butt again. I just don’t have any desire to do anything with my butt at present. I suggest that you listen to your own body. If you want to experiment with anal play, go for it. If you don’t feel that anal play is for you, then that’s fine too. Don’t let anyone pressure you into allowing them to stick a penis or anything else into your butt, if you don’t want anything in your butt.

Yes, listen to your body. At the same time, it’s important for you to listen to your mind. I’m glad I listened to my mind when my mind wanted to experience sex as a woman. I love my inner girlfriend as much as I love my inner boyfriend. I’m glad they had a chance to bond in a sexual way. However, I also know that they are working together every moment of my life. My masculine side and my feminine side make me a complete human being. Both sides love me, guide me, and help me to be all that I am.

Fur Cum Rag at 14 / Fur Demo at 39 January 3, 2010

When I was about fourteen years of age, my stepfather bought my mother a fake fur coat for Christmas. I don’t think my mom liked the coat, because months passed and I didn’t see her wear the coat once. The coat just hung in her closet.

Then one day, I was trying to think of soft things to rub on my penis. I had previously used an old pair of my mom’s pantyhose for the purposes of masturbation (I assure you that I used the calf section of the pantyhose. I stayed far away from the crotch, foot and thigh sections). So, when I desired something new to rub on my penis, I thought to myself, “Hmm. Mom’s pantyhose were nice and soft on my penis. I’ll bet that fake fur coat that she never wears would feel incredible on my penis too!"

So one day, when my parents weren’t home, I snuck my mom’s fake fur coat out of her closet and I rubbed it on my penis. The fake fur felt very soft. I also felt especially naughty during this masturbation session, due to the fact that if I had been caught, I would have been in very big trouble.

I pulled out before I ejaculated to avoid shooting a load of semen all over the coat. I also washed the pre-cum off the coat before I hung it back up in the closet. However, I'm glad to say that I felt guilty afterwards about masturbating with my mom’s coat. I know there are some males who spray semen wherever they damn well please, without remorse. Fortunately, I’m not one of those guys. I must admit that I engaged in two more masturbation sessions with the fake fur coat. But after the third session, I finally decided that fur (fake or not fake) had no more place in my sex life. I vowed to make the remainder of my life fur free.

Now, twenty-five years later, I’m pleased to say that my life is still fur free. In fact, as a vegan and animal rights activist, I now speak out against fur. I recently took part in two demonstrations in Toronto, Ontario, to speak out against fur. Activists and I held signs depicting the cruelty of the fur industry and shouted slogans like this: “Compassion is the fashion! Don’t wear fur!”

Now, you may be wondering what masturbating onto my mother’s fake fur coat has to do with people wearing real fur. Allow me to explain.

My mom’s coat was her coat. I had no right to rub my penis on her coat. In fact, I had no right to use her coat for anything. Do you agree with that? Do you also agree that your coat is your coat? How about your grandma’s coat? Is your grandma’s coat your grandma’s coat? In other words, would you like it if I shot a load of semen onto your grandma’s coat? I’m going to guess that if you caught me rubbing your grandma’s coat on my penis, you would say something like this: “Hey John! Stop rubbing my grandma’s coat on your penis!”

OK, let’s say I’m not interested in rubbing my penis on your grandma’s coat. Let’s say I want to rub my penis on your dog’s coat. Would that be OK? Or do you think rubbing my penis on your dog would be inappropriate? Do you think your dog’s coat belongs to your dog? Well, what if my girlfriend wanted a fur coat for a present? Would it be OK for me to kill your dog and turn your dog into a fur coat? What if my girlfriend was a very nice person and she really had her heart set on a fur coat and she thought your dog had a beautiful coat? If I tried to kill your dog so I could make a fur coat, would you say something like this: “Hey John! Leave my dog alone!”

I’m sure we all agree that fur is beautiful. Wolves, foxes, seals, beavers, and all of the other fur-bearing animals of the world, are absolutely gorgeous. If I were in Africa and I wasn’t worried that a lion would hurt me, I would love to pet a lion and run my fingers through his beautiful mane. In fact, many humans have beautiful manes too. You may have a mane that people envy. However, no human has the right to scalp you and use your mane as a hair piece.

In fact, no one has the right to do anything with your hair without your permission. I’m sure you appreciate this fact, too. You like to look your best, don’t you? That’s why you bathe, wash your hair, wear clean clothes, and brush your teeth. Unfortunately, most people don’t stop there. Being clean isn’t good enough for some people. Some people want to wear things that are expensive. Some people want $2,000 suits. Some people want $5,000 watches. Some people want $10,000 fur coats.

In some circles, people are impressed with expensive clothes and jewellery. In other circles, people are disgusted with expensive clothes and jewellery. Some people see a $10,000 fur coat and think of all the starving people who could have been fed with $10,000. Other people see a $10,000 fur coat and see blood--lots and lots of blood.

I’ve seen videos about the fur industry. I've seen animals with their leg bones exposed as they stand in a cage and wait to die. I’ve seen animals still blinking even after the fur got ripped off their bodies. I’ve seen animals pacing and pacing, going crazy inside of a cage. I’ve seen animals getting killed through anal electrocution. I’ve held a leg trap in my own hands. I’ve held a mink corpse in my own hands, too.

I’ve also seen people walking around in fur coats. I’m sure these people receive compliments about their fur coats, too. However, if you’re someone who wears fur, you should know that there are more informed citizens than you realize. For every person who says that your coat is disgusting to your face, there are many other people who think you are a monster behind your back.

The other day, I read about an activist on Facebook who insulted someone on a subway who was wearing fur. I told myself that the next time I saw someone wearing fur, I would talk to that person. Then a few days later, I saw someone wearing fur and I said nothing. I felt shy all of a sudden. However, I know that being shy doesn’t make the world a better place. The next time I see someone wearing a fur coat, I plan on saying something. I’ll be very nice about it. I’ll just ask the person if the fur is real. If the coat is real fur, then I will proceed to say that fur farming is extremely cruel. We are all conditioned by society to believe what we believe. People conditioned to believe that fur is fashionable need to be conditioned to believe that fur is cruel.

Just as I didn’t have any right to use my mom’s coat for anything, no one has any right to use any animal’s coat for anything at all. If you think that fur is beautiful, then adopt an animal from an animal shelter and stroke that animal’s fur. If you want to wear fur, then either buy a fake fur coat (keep a close eye on the coat if you have a son with raging hormones) or grow your own fur!

I’ve had the privilege of meeting many lovely women with hairy legs and hairy armpits. I applaud these women for making their own decisions about their bodies instead of just shaving what society says they should shave. In fact, almost all people are blessed with miniature fur coats around their genitals. Stroke your triangular fur coat whenever the mood strikes you. Wear your miniature fur coat with pride!

You wouldn’t like it if somebody tried to make a toupee out of your pubic hair, so don’t think it’s OK to use another animal’s fur either.

“Compassion is the fashion! Don’t wear fur!”

Gentlemen Prefer Cum Rags January 2, 2010

As far as I know, I’ve never acquired a sexually transmitted disease. I’ve also never had to make a child support payment. I don’t plan on acquiring any STDs or getting any women pregnant, either.

I enjoy cumming, and cumming into a vagina feels better than cumming into a cum rag. However, I prefer cumming into cum rags, rather than cumming into vaginas, because cumming into cum rags is safe. Well, usually it’s safe.

One time, I accidentally left my cum rag in the living room and my roommate found it. It was an old T-shirt and it was near retirement age because it was about 80% crusty. Well, my roommate thought she’d do me a favour and so she washed the semen-encrusted T-shirt for me. I came home from work the next day and saw that my cum rag had been washed and folded for me! I try to be an honest person and so I told my roommate that the T-shirt had been covered with semen. She was absolutely disgusted with me. She has since recovered and we laugh about this incident now. But at the time, she was not very pleased with me.

Now, this incident taught me that even cumming into cum rags is not entirely safe. However, I still believe that cumming into cum rags is better for me than cumming into vaginas, because I can’t get an STD from an old rag. I can't get an old rag pregnant.

At this point, you may be wondering why I’m so opposed to STDs and child support payments. The reason is because I’m an extremely creative and intelligent person and the world needs me to help lead the way to a more compassionate tomorrow. I can’t be a leader if I die from an STD. I could probably still be a leader if I had to make child support payments, but I wouldn’t have nearly as much time or money with which to be creative.

Now, I realize that I can wear condoms and protect myself from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. However, I make a point of following Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. The fact is that condoms don't always work. And when they break, the results can be devastating.

I know at least one person who has AIDS. I also know at least one man who has to make child support payments. Rather than suffer the same fate as these men, I’d rather learn from their mistakes. I’d rather cum into a cum rag than cum into a vagina.

Now, if you’re a woman who is attracted to me, I don’t want to ruin your fantasy of having sex with me. It is in fact possible that one day we may have sex. However, you will have to prove yourself to be one outstanding woman. In short, there are three things you will have to do before we can have sexual intercourse together:

1. You will have to be an ethical vegan. Carnists rape, torture and murder my friends, and there’s no way I’m touching my tongue to the body of a woman who touches her own tongue to the flesh and excretions of sentient beings.

2. You will have to show me that you’re an honest person. Due to the fact that you’re an ethical vegan, you’ve already shown me that you have a conscience. However, it is possible that someone could be an ethical vegan and still not be an honest person.

3. You will of course have to get tested for STDs. I will of course get tested as well. I’ve only had two sexual partners in my life. I had my first girlfriend when I was twenty-two. We dated for seven months and had a sexual relationship. I didn’t so much as kiss a girl for almost ten years, until I dated another lady when I was thirty-two. Even though it had been almost ten years since I’d had sex, I still got tested for all STDs before I got intimate with this woman. We dated for about eighteen months and had a sexual relationship. Now I’m thirty-nine and I haven’t kissed a woman since my second girlfriend. Even though my second girlfriend was a virgin when I began dating her, there’s still a chance that I could have acquired an STD while I dated her, or since I dated her (I don’t know how, but anything is possible). So, I would still get tested for all STDs before I would get intimate with you.

Now, some of you may think I’m crazy with all of this fear of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. However, I don’t think I am. I just respect my body and life as much as my body and life deserve to be respected. I’m one of the most brilliant creative forces in the known universe (or so I tell myself) and I want to live for as long as I possibly can so that I can be creative for as long as I can.

I know there are men all around the world who let their penises make some pretty bad decisions. I know some of those men were intoxicated at the time they made those bad decisions. Fortunately, I don’t use any mind altering substances that would impair my judgement. I don’t get drunk at bars and have sex with women in bathroom stalls. I don’t get high on marijuana and have sex with women under trees in the park. I don’t inject heroin into my arm and then perform fellatio on my drug dealer so that I can please have some more heroin.

I presently feel that I do enjoy intimate relationships with women. Those relationships are just not of a physical nature. If you are a woman, we are being intimate with each other right now through this blog. I am writing intimate details about myself and you are finding these details fascinating. Perhaps your vagina will even feel wetter after you finish reading this blog than it did before you began reading this blog. To me, that’s fun. I don’t feel a need to blast a load of semen into or onto your body. Interacting mentally can be much more fulfilling than anything we could do physically.

Now, I also realize that some men have been in highly erotic situations that were hard to turn down. I know personally, that if I ever found myself at a ski lodge during a blizzard with a sexy vegan woman, and we accidentally lost our clothing, and we had to hold each other while naked in front of the fireplace to stay warm, and my penis accidentally became erect, and somehow my penis accidentally slid inside the woman’s vagina because it wanted to stay warm, there’s a chance that I would let my penis remain inside the woman’s warm vagina instead of immediately pulling it out, and that any STDs or unwanted pregnancies that came my way would be my own damn fault, because if my penis had wanted to stay warm that badly, I surely could have found a cum rag somewhere around the ski lodge, or even have kept my penis warm with my own hand instead of keeping it warm inside the sexy vegan woman’s vagina. However, short of this ski lodge scenario, I’d like to think that I’m strong enough mentally to avoid allowing my penis to make important life decisions for me.

Well, I think I’ve written enough for today. All this talk of ski lodges has got me aroused and my present cum rag is only about fifty per cent encrusted in semen!

(Update: A couple of months after I wrote this blog, I . . . Let's just say I'm a man, and I'm weak. I wasn't inside a ski lodge when I got weak, either.)

Too Much Information December 19, 2009

"Women like some mystery."

A vegan woman said the above words to me recently. I don't doubt that she's correct. In fact, I read a book on how to attract women that was written by a man with that exact name: Mystery. He's one of the world's greatest "Venusian artists" (Mystery defines the Venusian arts as this: The art of picking up a woman you just met and successfully embarking upon an intimate relationship with her.)

The reason why I read this book is because I want to learn how to be successful with women. I don't want to sleep with lots of women. I just want to entertain women, and inspire women and one day have a successful relationship with a woman.

By reading Mystery's book (along with a host of other books on the Venusian arts), I learned basic social skills that are universal. I also became inspired to think of myself as being the prize once in awhile, instead of always feeling like the woman is the prize.

Fortunately, there's something I have going for me that has enabled me to view myself as a "prize": I'm interesting. At least, I like to think that I'm interesting. It feels good to think that I'm interesting. I feel that people want to listen to what I have to say. Believing that people want to listen to me gives me motivation to speak.

However, as a public speaker it's important for me to realize that I'm not just speaking for my own benefit. I'm also speaking for the benefit of others. Though I love baring my soul for all to see, I've come to learn that there are some things that people just do not want to hear about.

For example, I once delivered a speech at my local Toastmasters Club (a public speaking club with chapters worldwide) with the intention of encouraging people to be honest with themselves about their relationships with non-human animals. You see, most people think they are kind to animals. Meanwhile, those same people also rape, torture and murder animals. Though they may not be committing these acts of violence themselves, they are paying other people to do these horrific deeds whenever they purchase animal products.

So, I wanted to inspire people to be honest with themselves about how they treat non-human animals. Rather than merely talk about the cruel things my audience members were in fact doing to animals, I thought I'd open up about my own cruel deeds. First, I talked about all of the animal products I consumed until the age of twenty-seven (I'm now thirty-nine and have been a vegan for twelve years). Then, I dropped my bomb on the audience: I told them about the time when I was thirteen years old and had encouraged a cat to lick pancake syrup off my penis.

As I told the audience this story, a Christian lady near the front of the room lowered her eyes. I kept glancing at her to see if she was OK. I started to feel like I had violated her with my words. She refrained from making eye contact with me until the very end of my speech.

Before the next meeting, the president of the club told me he had received complaints about my speech. He told me that I need to keep my audience in mind when I speak. I realize he is correct. Words are extremely powerful and need to be handled carefully. In fact, when I was at Toastmasters talking about my sexual experiment with a cat (by the way, it was just a few licks, and then I got disgusted with myself and ended the experiment), I was like a flasher in a raincoat. Maybe flashers like to open up and be intimate with the world. However, the fact is that not everyone wants to see what's under the raincoat. And yes, not everyone wants to hear about a cat licking my penis.

I must say, I have since shared the cat story with others on a few occasions. In fact, it was after one such retelling, when the vegan woman above said, "Women like some mystery." Like I said, I have no doubt that this woman is correct and that women do in fact like some mystery. I acknowledge that I need to be selective about what information I share with a woman when we first begin dating. So now, when I feel like sharing intimate details of my life with others, I'll just write a blog about it! People can then decide for themselves whether or not they want to read about intimate details of my life.

Yes, sometimes people are in danger of receiving too much information. In fact, now that we are living in the age of information, people are in more danger than ever before of receiving too much information. For instance, besides the cat story, there was another time when I offended people with my words.

I did a speech about veganism and in this speech I mentioned that cow milk has blood and pus in it. Now, I thought people would want to know about blood and pus being in milk so that they could in fact learn to stop drinking milk. But surprisingly, this speech elicited as many complaints as my cat fellatio speech. I guess sometimes people like to remain ignorant. In fact, I was talking to one man who said, "I don't want to know anything about how a chicken wing gets onto my plate. I just want the chicken wing on my plate."

So, is that true for a lot of people? If you're a carnist, could you absolutely not give a damn about what happens to an innocent being as long as you get to chew on that creature's flesh and drink her excretions?

As an animal rights activist, it's my job to bring information to people. I have to tell people about what they are eating. If I don't, people will continue eating animal products and animals will continue to suffer.

As a dude who wants to date women, sometimes I have to keep some information private. If I give women too much information, I won't be mysterious and I'll become less attractive.

As an artist, it's my job to express how I feel about various subjects. I need to be brave enough to say what is on my mind, without fear.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say with this blog, is that I encourage you all to be brave when disseminating information (while keeping your audience in mind). I encourage you to be brave about receiving information (about things like animal cruelty, for example), even if you feel uncomfortable about receiving this information at the time. Finally, I encourage you to avoid judging others, so that people will be less afraid to share information with you.

As for me maintaining an air of mystery . . . that's probably hopeless. So, if you want a man who is mysterious, look elsewhere. But if you want a guy who is interesting, gee, have I got a story to tell you!

My Trip to a Strip Joint December 11, 2009

A friend just asked me to drive him to a strip joint. He and his friends get together once a week for "Titty Thursday". He said he knows I'm against impaired driving, so he thought I'd be proud of him for not driving. He has done me many favours, so I've decided I will indeed drive him to the strip joint.

So, here's a question for you: Since I'll be driving to the strip joint anyway, should I stop inside for a quick peek? Would you stop inside for a peek at naked ladies?

It's time for me to go pick up this friend, so I'll continue writing this blog as soon as I get back. See you soon.

**********************************************

OK, I just got back from the strip joint. This is what happened:

First, my friend asked me to go pick up another friend. This guy is tall. I asked if he'd be OK in my back seat.

"Of course. This is The Vegan Mobile. You could fit a case of Brussels sprouts back here," he said. (I have GO VEGAN spray painted on the hood of my car, so that's why he called my car The Vegan Mobile). Then, the three of us cruised to the strip joint in The Vegan Mobile and then . . .

. . . I decided to go inside the strip club and all of the strippers saw the GO VEGAN tattoo on my shoulder and they all wanted to learn about veganism! Then all of the strippers said they were going to become vegans! Then we all went to the strip club kitchen and made green smoothies! Then the strippers poured green smoothies all over each other! Then the strippers licked green smoothies off of each other! Then the strippers inserted carrots, celery and cucumbers into their vaginas! Then they pulled the veggies out of their vaginas and made me a salad with the veggies! Then I said, "Thank you ladies, but I'll have to pass on this salad. After you've been vegans for at least one month, you can make me a new salad with vegan vagina juice on it. You see, I've pledged to only allow vegan vagina juice to touch my lips!" Then the strippers quit their stripping jobs and they all came over to my place and then everyone went to sleep because we're going to get up early and go hand out leaflets to every carnist in the world.

The truth is I didn't go inside the strip joint. In fact, I just drove The Vegan Mobile right back home.

OK, I know what some of you might be thinking: "Isn't this the same guy who wrote a blog about loving vaginas? Why didn't he go inside the strip joint? If he loves vaginas, why wouldn't he want to look at . . . vaginas!"

Those are good questions. I will proceed to explain myself.

First of all, the reason why I wrote a column about vaginas, is because I wanted to get people to read about veganism. I was using sex to sell my column. So as far as using sex to sell something, I'm the same as the strip joint owner.

So, if I'm the same as the strip joint owner, then why don't I open my own strip joint? Surely I would make more money off a strip joint than I would off this blog. In fact, I could even make my strip joint a vegan strip joint. I read about a man who did this exact thing. He opened a vegan strip joint to promote veganism. He said he got men to try vegan food who otherwise may not have tried vegan food. So, if this man opened up this vegan strip joint then why can't I?

Well, first of all, I don't have enough money to open up a vegan strip joint. Second of all, I wouldn't feel good about opening up a business like that. Of course, if I listened to my friend, I would feel great about opening a strip joint. According to my friend, strippers love their jobs. They love showing off their bodies; they love to dance; they love to flirt with men; they get paid extremely well. So, what's the problem?

Well, on one hand, I can understand why some women may indeed love being strippers. I myself have enjoyed taking my clothes off. I had a photographer friend take over 800 photos of me while I posed nude and while wearing body makeup. I had a great time using my body and face to express myself. In fact, I enjoyed the whole experience so much, I even self-published a book full of photos from this session. The book is called "John Sakars Nude".

In my mind, I was creating art with my nude modelling session. Some strippers may think they too are using their bodies to create art. Dancing is of course an art form. So, why is one form of nude art OK and not another form of nude art?

Well, as an animal rights activist, I'm against the exploitation of animals. Female humans are animals. So, I'm against the exploitation of female humans, just as I'm against the exploitation of non-human animals. So, are the women at these clubs being exploited?

I guess that would depend on who you asked. However, the strippers are only a small part of the equation, when we ask ourselves whether or not strip joints are bad or good.

One could argue that strip joints affect every human on earth. At least half of the humans on earth are women and the rest are men who interact with these women. Are these relationships respectful? Are men and women regarded as equals?

If some men regard women as mere sex objects, could it be because those men were taught by society how to treat women? If so, are not some of the "schools" where men learn how to treat women, in fact strip joints? Aren't strip joints at least partially to blame for things like negative body images, and eating disorders and sexual assaults?

I'm not going to judge strippers, or strip joint owners or people who patronize these establishments. I'll admit there's a part of me that would like to go inside a strip joint. I appreciate women who have developed the ability to move their bodies in sexy ways and who truly enjoy expressing their sexuality. However, I feel that by entering a strip joint, I wouldn't be helping to make the world a kinder, gentler place. Though I'd want to focus my attention on the ladies stripping, in my mind's eye, I would see a young lady vomiting in an effort to get skinny. I would see a man lying to his wife and saying he'd been working late when he'd really been getting fellatio from a stripper. In short, I wouldn't feel good about being inside the strip joint. I would feel bad.

Some people just do what feels good. Want a steak? Yes! Want a beer? Yes! Want to look at tits and ass? Yes! Want to throw this pop can in the garbage instead of taking the time to put it in the recycling bin? Yes!

I used to be one of those pleasure seekers. I used to eat animal products. I went to a strip joint a couple of times in my early twenties. I didn't drink beer because I hated the taste of it, but I got drunk once off of vodka and orange juice. The fact is I'm a pleasure seeker too. However, I now have different things that give me pleasure.

I now try to think about the consequences of my actions when I seek pleasure. I think about how my actions will affect the planet, my fellow humans, my animal friends and myself.

It's up to me to decide what will or will not give me pleasure. If I really wanted to go to a strip joint, I'm sure I could talk myself into doing so. But I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate me going to a strip joint.

How's that for a shocker! I have a girlfriend! Well, yes and no. Let me explain.

I have a girlfriend, but she's not another person. My girlfriend is my feminine side. She lives inside me. She's my inner girlfriend. I love her very much. I do things to make her proud of me. She loves the fact that I respect Mother Earth, and animals and human beings. She also likes the fact that I don't go to strip clubs.

Of course, she doesn't like the fact that I look at porn occasionally on the internet! She hates that! OK, I'm a hypocrite. Hey, I'm a work in progress. I know if I had a real girlfriend, then I could stop looking at porn today.

I realize that just because I don't have an actual girlfriend, that's no excuse for me to look at porn. I only do it for a few minutes once or twice a day when I masturbate. Hey, maybe this column will inspire me to stop looking at online porn altogether. I can just use my imagination from now on. My imagination serves me well in all of my creative endeavours, so why can't my imagination serve me while I pleasure myself too? OK, well, this is something for me to consider.

Vegan Lovemaking December 6, 2009

I often talk about green smoothies as being one of my favourite ways to consume fruits and veggies. Green smoothies are quick, easy and delicious. All you do is throw dark, leafy greens into a blender with water and fruit, then mix and enjoy.

However, we're not always in a hurry. Sometimes we actually have time to chew our food and savour every mouthful. This is the type of eating I want to talk about today. I want to talk about slow eating. Sensual eating. Eating with a partner. I want to talk about bringing delicious vegan food into the bedroom.

If you're fortunate enough to be in a loving relationship, you're probably already salivating over the idea of spicing up your love life with food. However, I'm first going to talk about different ways to masturbate with food.

One trick you can do involves something I learned about years ago on the internet. What you do is microwave a banana peel for about twenty seconds and then wrap the sheath around your penis. It feels warm and soft and you can't feel your hand. For the past year, I've been avoiding microwaves because I prepare my food in ways that are as natural as possible. Perhaps you can figure out another way to heat up the peel, but please avoid making the peel too hot. The goal is to make the peel feel just warm enough so that you can imagine it's a vagina (or an anus, if you're into that). You don't want to burn yourself.

I once hollowed out a cucumber, but the sensation didn't arouse me (I also felt guilty about doing this to a cucumber, for some reason). However, for females, I'm sure a cucumber would prove to be very useful. You could of course slide the cucumber inside yourself. You could also place the cucumber between your breasts while you're masturbating and fantasize that a man is sliding his member between your mammaries.

The fun thing with using your imagination is that you can fantasize about doing things that you would never do in real life. For instance, if you had five cucumbers, you could pretend that you're pleasuring five men at the same time by placing one cucumber in each hand, one in your mouth, one in your vagina and one in your anus. I feel that if I were a woman, I probably wouldn't want to pleasure five men at once. However, I might enjoy fantasizing about doing such a thing, simply because it would be fun to imagine having sex with people from five continents, perhaps to help establish world peace. Instead of five cucumbers, you could mix it up and use five carrots or something else.

OK, I'm excited to finally start writing about sex with a partner. Masturbation is fun, but sex is also a way to make another human being feel good. Of course, gay sex is as beautiful and natural as heterosexual sex. However, this is my blog and I want to write about sex between a man and a woman. The following sex tips can of course be applied to sex between any consenting adults. If any of my tips help you to have better sex with your partner, then I will be glad that I wrote this blog.

Long before you enter the bedroom, there are many things you can do to establish a romantic mood. You can hold hands while walking through a grocery store. You can pick out produce together that you think looks sexy. A Facebook friend of mine recently posted pictures of a potato that looked like a butt. It's probably rare to find a gem like that, but together you can decide what produce excites you the most.

Once you get home, you could eat some of your food if you need energy for lovemaking. However, avoid eating too much at this point. You want to enter the bedroom with a big appetite, because you're going to be licking and eating many different foods off of your lover and you want to be enthusiastic about your licking.

OK, so now you're in the bedroom with lots of delicious vegan food. It's time for sex, right? Wrong. First, it's time to build up an even bigger appetite through playful fighting.

Many of us haven't wrestled or fought with swords since we were children. When you engage with your partner through playful wrestling and you sword fight with produce (carrots, cucumbers, etc.), you will laugh and feel like innocent children. This feeling of childhood innocence will greatly intensify the feeling of naughtiness you will experience once you start to lick each other. You can pull clothing off of each other as you're play fighting, but keep your underwear on. There will come a point during your play fighting when you will be absolutely dying to kiss each other. Ladies, avoid kissing your man. In fact, ask him to step outside. When he does, take off your bra and panties and lay your beautiful body down on the bed. Now is the time to get creative. You can cover your body with any type of delicious vegan food you desire. Then, ask your man to enter the room. Tell him he has to eat his fruits and veggies like a good boy!

Ladies and gentlemen, use your imaginations to explore the endless possibilities of using vegan food in the bedroom. I'll share with you some ideas that I think would be fun:

I think it would be fun for a woman to cover her vagina with sprouts so it looks like a hairy bush and then have her partner eat the delicious mound. I call this move the "Naughty Hippie". Or, if sprouts don't turn you on, perhaps you like tomatoes. A tomato lover told me he created a technique he calls "Organic Time of the Month". I think the name says it all, so I won't go into details.

I think it would be fun for a man and woman to act out the story of the woman who put peanut butter on her vagina and had her dog lick it off. The man could pant and bark like a dog in between licks.

After the man pretends he's a dog, the woman could pretend to be a cat. The man could pour soy milk/almond milk/rice milk/hemp milk on various parts of his body and the "cat" could lap up the "milk".

I think it would be fun to spank/whip each other with produce. As a drummer, I would enjoy playing a drum solo on my partner's butt with two stalks of celery.

I think it would be fun to touch frozen strawberries to my partner's nipples and then warm her nipples back up with my mouth.

I think it would be fun to eat a pomegranate together and rub the sweet juice all over each other and then lick off the juice.

I think it would be fun to cut a slit into a peach and have my partner lick the peach exactly how she wanted me to lick her vagina. I would then watch her lick while I was licking and copy her moves exactly.

A friend told me she had a partner who would bring warmed produce into the bedroom, insert the food into her vagina and then eat the food. Again, use your creativity.

OK, after all of this foreplay, you can finally have sex if you want. Enjoy!

After sex, you may want to just go to sleep. However, you should know that many people like to cuddle after sex. Regarding cuddling, I have another fantasy I'd like to share with you.

I recently purchased some animal costumes for a video for one of my songs. I'll be using these costumes again for videos and animal rights activism, so I don't want to mess them up with food, semen or vegan vagina juice. But, I do think it would be fun to cuddle in these outfits and maybe watch a movie. I own a chicken, pig and cow costume. If you think I seem like a cool guy and you would like to watch a movie with me while dressed up as a farmed animal, you can wear whatever costume you want. The pig costume is pink and the cow costume has udders, so perhaps I would dress up as the chicken. While watching the movie we could kiss a little, but again, we would have to be careful not to mess up the costumes.

Well, I hope I've given you some ideas that may enhance your lovemaking experiences. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments.

Ten-Letter Word for a Prison: Marineland
November, 2009

(Written as if I'm one of the imprisoned whales)

Tank. Cage. Jail. Which four-letter word most accurately describes my home? Why, the word that most accurately describes my home isn't a four-letter word at all. The word that most accurately describes my home is a five-letter word: ocean.

Yes, ocean: the entire body of salt water that covers more than seventy percent of Earth's surface. I think about the ocean every hour of every day. I long to be in the ocean again; I long to swim for hundreds of miles; I long to be with all of my friends. I believe that one day I will be in the ocean again. Why don't I go to the ocean right now? Well, I wish I could. But unfortunately, there's an obstacle in my way. The name of this obstacle is another five-letter word: money.

Yes, money: a medium that can be exchanged for goods and services. You see, I provide a service. I provide beauty for your eyes. You find me extremely beautiful. That’s why you pay so much money to see me. That's why I was abducted from my beautiful ocean home. That's why I'm forced to live in this tank. Cage. Jail.

Humans who live in jails do so because they committed crimes. I committed no crime. I don't deserve to live in a jail. I deserve to be free. I deserve to live in my ocean home. But I know that as long as you continue to pay money to see me, I will remain incarcerated. Every dollar you spend to see me only serves to strengthen the walls of my cell.

I'm flattered that you find me beautiful. However, paying to keep me imprisoned is no way to honour my beauty. If you truly love me, you will work to set me free. You will tell others to keep their hard-earned money out of Marineland. Then, after enough people have heard your words, it will no longer remain profitable for my incarcerators to keep me locked up. Then I will be able to return to my ocean home. Please, help me to be free. Only you can set me free.

Why I Ate a Piece of My Shit March 27, 2010

In 1995, when I was twenty-five years old, my brother and I bought our first computer. He wrote a page about people having sex. I wrote a page about people having sex too.

Then, I wrote about a guy named Mike, twenty-two, who played guitar and worked in a restaurant. I amused myself for fifty pages, until I read an article in Writer’s Digest about being brave. This article inspired me to just let loose and not worry about people judging me by what I wrote. I smiled, realizing my story was about to become very interesting indeed.

This article in Writer’s Digest flipped a light on inside my head. This light, in turn, illuminated a character lurking in the darkest shadows of my mind. This being called himself the Cave Beast.

At the time, I was working at a job that I didn’t like and I sometimes fantasized about just running away and living in the woods. Through the character of the Cave Beast, I got to do just that: escape from my life. I got to run away and live in a cave all by myself.

As I wrote about the cave beast, I realized that he wasn't happy merely living in a cave. In fact, he wanted to rise above all of his fellow Earthlings, and go live in a castle on the moon. He wanted to become a god and live with other deities. In order to earn his right to live among the gods, he had to follow their orders and complete an initiation. The initiation was comprised of five tasks, which would test him both mentally and physically. After he completed each task, the gods would transport him to the moon, where they would use a ceremonial dagger to carve a slice into his chest. After each slice, the cave beast wouldn’t see blood--he would only see a gold colour glistening inside each incision. There would be five cuts: a vertical cut, a horizontal cut, two diagonal cuts and the circle cut. This symbol, called a Zerod, looked like a wagon wheel. (We later discover that the cave beast had once had a very ugly encounter with a wagon wheel--an encounter after which nothing would ever be the same.)

I can’t begin to imagine how distressing it must be for people like the Cave Beast, who hear voices inside their heads. In fact, I lived for several months with a woman who had been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. I used to hear her talking to herself in her bedroom. She was a very kind, warm, intelligent human being. It would have angered me if anyone would have called her “crazy”. Even though the character of the Cave Beast hears voices and sometimes engages in unusual behaviour, he is not crazy either. He is simply a human being in need of help.

Now at the age of thirty-nine, as I reflect on my novel, I think I can see why I wanted the Cave Beast to suffer alone in his cave. In my youth, I had a few nasty altercations with people who had been drinking. When my wounds were still relatively fresh, at the age of twenty-five, it felt good for me to make an alcoholic suffer, even if only a fictional alcoholic in my novel. I got to make the Cave Beast suffer alone, after he had hurt people during his own drinking episodes.

I have since made peace with some of the sad memories from my youth. The people in my life who had had drinking problems are fine people now. I love them and I'm glad to have them in my life. I now only feel empathy for people with substance abuse problems. I see them as people who just need help, and not people who I want to see banished to caves.

When people read my novel, I hope they won’t judge me either. When I wrote the initial manuscript for this novel, in 1995-1999, I wrote with bravery. I didn’t worry about what people would think of me. I also researched with bravery. The Cave Beast did strange things, and I did some strange things too. For example, when he pulled some hair out, I pulled some hair out. When he ate some grass, I ate some grass. As a result, I was able to be accurate as I described the actions of my cave dwelling character.

Once I finished the manuscript in 1999, I sent query letters to the top ten biggest publishing houses in the U.S., and they all rejected me. I decided my novel was too dark and strange anyway, and it was probably for the best that I wasn’t going to publish this work. But six months ago, I read this manuscript after it had sat on a shelf for over ten years. I thought, hmm, this is really quite an interesting read! I proceeded to get six different friends to read the manuscript, and they all had different ideas for me on how to improve my book. One of these ideas came from a woman who had an interesting experience from her own youth.

When she was a little girl, her friends had an initiation for her to complete. She had to eat a piece of shit. I won’t go into detail, because that’s not my story to tell. However, I realized that the Cave Beast simply had to eat his own shit!

I remembered how I had eaten grass so I could properly write about eating grass. I realized that I would now have to eat my own shit, before I could accurately describe the act of eating feces.

So, I ate my shit. I only ate a small piece, about the size of a plum tomato. But by doing so, I gained a great deal of insight into feces eating. I was able to be very descriptive when I wrote about the Cave Beast eating his bowel movement. (By the way, vegan feces isn’t remotely as disgusting as the feces of a carnist. The feces of carnists is full of the corpses and excretions of tortured animals. So, though vegan feces is still gross, in my mind the feces of the Cave Beast would have been even worse.)

OK, as I write this, I’m suddenly feeling all alone. I’m feeling like if you were sitting right next to me, you’d suddenly be realizing that you had an appointment you were late for, and you had to get going. That’s OK. I understand. I feel strange about what I did too. I can assure you that I have no plans of ever eating shit again. All I know is that I wanted to write the most powerful novel I could write, and I believe I accomplished my objective. If I had to dip my toe into dark waters once or twice in order to realize my dream, then so be it. Writing this book was a great adventure, and I don’t regret any moment of the creative process.

By the way, if you want to know what it’s like to eat shit, I’m not going to tell you. You can either eat shit yourself, or buy my novel. The choice is up to you!

Vegans Rockin’ in the U.S.A. May 23, 2010

On May 16th, 2010, I had my first public speaking engagement in the U.S. I spoke at the second annual NOLA Veggie Fest, in New Orleans, Louisiana. This event took place at First Unitarian Universalist Church. My presentation was well-received and the event was a huge success. However, before I tell you about Veggie Fest, I’ll tell you about some of the adventures I had leading up to that glorious day.

Fellow Vegan Outreach leafleter Twila Hoyle had invited me to stay at her place during my stay in New Orleans, from May 10th to May 18th. She picked me up at the airport in a pickup truck driven by a man she had just met, named Willie. She had missed her exit, got stuck on a bridge and ran out of gas, and Willie had been the first person she’d flagged down. After he picked me up, he drove us to Twila’s house. We gave him ten dollars for gas and thanked him for helping us. Little did Twila and I know that we’d have to be rescued again by a man in a pick-up truck on the morning of Veggie Fest, for an entirely different reason!

I found it exciting that Twila’s home was in the French Quarter, near many restaurants that served vegan dishes. Her landlord’s home was in the front and Twila’s little house was in the backyard. She said both homes were over 200 years old. Her place had once been used as slave quarters. I found it somewhat fitting that we were in the slave quarters, as we prepared to help abolish non-human animal slavery by promoting veganism at Veggie Fest.

I met Twila’s companion animal, a Pit Bull mix she had rescued named Angus Young. I had been nervous about living with a Pit Bull for a week, as I’d never been around a Pit Bull before. However, he was just as sweet and affectionate as Twila had described. I thought about a speaker I’d recently heard in Niagara, who said that it’s presently legal to own a tiger in Ontario, but illegal to own a Pit Bull puppy. It was Twila’s love for her dog that inspired her to become a vegan. In fact, Angus is a vegan dog too. On my first night in New Orleans, Angus licked my head good night. We later made a video of Twila brushing Angus Young’s teeth, which can be seen on my page on YouTube.

Besides hanging out with Angus Young, I also got to see some other peaceful creatures with formidable mouths. We went to Jean Lafitte National Park and hiked for four miles through the swamp. It was surreal to be hiking in places we otherwise never would have gone, had a path not been made from a series of bridges. We saw frogs, snakes, turtles, birds and finally, near the end of the path, alligators! We saw three alligators: a baby, a seven-footer, and one in between. All creatures are magnificent in their own ways, but the little boy inside me was especially happy to see alligators. I had seen alligators in a zoo before, but that’s not a thrill at all. That’s just sad in every way.

Speaking of animals in sad situations, I also saw many horses and mules pulling people in carriages through the French Quarter. I’m sure the people in those carriages would claim to be animal lovers, but animal lovers do not support slavery. I look forward to the day when slavery is truly abolished in the U.S. and everywhere else around the world. For this reason, I was looking forward to Veggie Fest. One of the best ways to help abolish slavery is by showing people how delicious vegan food can be!

One day, I volunteered to help Leslie Brown and Jehan Strouse, organizers of Veggie Fest, pick-up food for the event. Among several stops, we visited a grocery store and filled three shopping carts with vegan food. We got veggie dogs, veggie burgers, and vegan versions of dairy products like ice cream, buttery spreads and yogurt. These products are great for helping people to make the transition to a cruelty-free lifestyle. By using these foods, people can enjoy all of the tastes they presently enjoy, without having to harm any beings. They can also avoid cholesterol, as cholesterol only comes from animal products.

Fortunately, I also got to try a type of vegan food that I'd never tried before (as far as I know): food from a dumpster! One evening, Twila and I ran into a friend of mine from Niagara, named Emily. She had just gone dumpster diving and offered us some of her findings. We gratefully accepted two cantaloupes and several tomatoes. Emily said people throw away lots of food which is still perfectly edible. “You just have to know where to look,” she said. We had the cantaloupe for breakfast the next day and used the tomatoes in salads for lunch.

Twila told me about her belief that beautiful food tastes better. We made some very colourful salads during my stay, and I enjoyed every one. We used purple cabbage, shredded carrots, peppers, romaine lettuce, cilantro, mango, tomatoes, lime and raisons. The wonderful thing about adding fruit into salads, is that they can taste great without any salad dressing. We also used some mushrooms that she had put into her food dehydrator. Yummy!

I had a great time visiting with Twila’s friends. We went to a raw food potluck one night. Another night, Twila’s friend Juliet had us over for dinner and we read poems from a book Juliet had helped write about Hurricane Katrina. We also enjoyed food from several different restaurants and cafes. In one cafe, Twila was allowed to bring Angus inside. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and someone saw one of my tattoos. She said, “Your tattoo says Animal Liberation, and yet you’re holding a dog on a leash.” We all laughed over that one.

The day before Veggie Fest, Twila and I handed out leaflets promoting the big event. We were joined by two people who were scheduled to speak at Veggie Fest: Jack Norris, president of Vegan Outreach, and Jane Velez-Mitchell from Headline News. It was great leafleting with Jack, who co-founded Vegan Outreach. Vegan Outreach gives activists a chance to make a real difference in the world, by providing leaflets for distribution at schools, concerts and special events. I must say I was especially dazzled by the leafleting efforts of Jane. As a journalist, she has interviewed celebrities like Robert Redford and Paul McCartney, yet she was just as motivated to talk to people on the street. She was a go-getter, leafleting everyone she could find. She even chased down people in horse drawn carriages to hand them a leaflet. The four of us leafleted in the rain for three hours, determined to get as many people to come to Veggie Fest as possible.

At one point Twila said to me, “You’re doing great, but you need to speak with more authority.” I realized she was correct, so I changed my style. Instead of saying, “Veggie Fest tomorrow?” as if I were asking a question, I began saying, “Veggie Fest tomorrow!” as if I were making an exciting announcement.

The next morning, as Twila and I loaded up her car with Vegan Outreach leaflets, we got just as soaked as if we had jumped into the Mississippi. It was raining hard. As we drove to the venue, Twila urged me to get out my video camera to capture the vicious downpour. Water splashed up the sides of the car as if we were in a jet boat on a river. Then finally, just as we got to the venue, Twila's car got stuck. She waved down a pickup truck, just as she had on my first day in New Orleans. We then moved all the boxes of leaflets to the truck, and the man drove the remaining couple hundred feet to the church.

I grabbed my stuff from Twila’s car and walked to the church. The water was almost up to my knees! I later looked outside and saw two boys kayaking down the street. Perhaps those boys had seen roads become rivers once or twice before.

I was nervous that Veggie Fest was going to get cancelled. However, vegans won’t let anything stop them when it comes to promoting veganism. We set everything up and hoped for the best. Fortunately, the rain stopped, the water drained from the roads, the sun came out and Veggie Fest was a huge success! The public got to listen to speakers like Jane and Jack, and sampled delicious vegan food. I delivered an art slideshow, talked about veganism and recited a poem called The Truth About Milk. Then Twila and I did a green smoothie demonstration, making about ten blenders full of green smoothie. We used spinach and fruit like strawberries, apples, pears and bananas. We said that green smoothies are a delicious way for you to get greens into your body, and everyone seemed to agree!

After the event, Leslie Brown said she’d heard from several people who had said they were going to go veg. We were all thrilled.

The next day, Twila, Emily, Angus Young and I had a delicious picnic under The Tree of Life. The Tree of Life is a huge oak tree in Audubon Park. We had a big salad, bread made with sprouted grains, almond butter, and filtered water in reusable bottles. We used glass plates and metal forks (which I mention as a reminder to avoid single use items, like plastic forks and paper plates, whenever possible). Then that evening, we attended a talk by vegan bodybuilder Robert Cheeke. This guy has enough energy for five people. I wanted to buy his book Vegan Bodybuilding & Fitness, but the books are selling as fast as he can get them printed. I’m grateful that Robert is travelling all around the U.S., inspiring people to eat well and exercise. Anyone who doubts you can build muscle on a vegan diet, simply has to take one look at Robert.

I had a great time in New Orleans. I thank everyone involved with Veggie Fest. There’s no work more important than promoting veganism. Adopting a vegan diet is the best thing you can do for animals, the planet and your health, and so promoting veganism is the best way you can make the world a better place!

After spending so much time with vegans, I was feeling optimistic that a vegan world is inevitable. However, on the flight home from New Orleans, I received a reminder that we vegans still have a lot of work on our hands.

A lady in the seat behind me spoke for several minutes with the man beside her, about her work with Tyson Foods. It was hard for me to hear her over the sound of the plane, but I took notes as she talked. She said her friends get jealous over the fact that Tyson flies her all over the world. She said she’s been to Bermuda and the Cayman Islands, and will be going to Korea, Japan and China, selling Tyson chicken and beef. She talked about her husband being a deacon at her church, and I wished to myself for the umpteenth time that religious leaders taught people to practice the golden rule for real.

She talked about her job as if she were selling TVs and not the corpses of tortured beings. It was chilling to listen to someone working in the murder industry. I’m sure this person believes she is providing an important service, by helping to provide people with “protein”. I don’t feel any anger towards this woman in any way. I’m just hopeful she’ll learn about the errors of her ways as soon as possible. I know the following is public knowledge, but here are a few of the things I heard her say:

Tyson has big competition in Brazil, where a lot of beef is produced.

Tyson produces more beef than chicken, but they’re more known for their chicken.

Tyson produces 40 million chickens a week.

Tyson kills chickens when they are between eight and ten weeks of age.

Tyson keeps chickens in houses so they are not exposed to the outside.

Tyson has donated truckloads of beef. Inventory is expensive to keep, and donating beef is a way to evade taxes.

Tyson gives chicks to women in Africa so they can start their own farms.

I felt like turning around and saying something to this woman. Instead, I decided to write her a note:

Dear Miss,

I’m an animal rights activist and I found it sad to hear you talk about murdering billions of innocent animals. While you’re travelling to exotic destinations, I hope you get a chance to try some delicious vegan food. It’s never too late to become a compassionate person.

John Sakars
jsakars@yahoo.ca

After we got off the plane, I handed her the note. She saw my shirt that says “I Am Vegetarian”, and she lowered her eyes. I said, “It’s just a piece of paper”, and she finally accepted the note. We didn’t speak afterwards and so I have no idea what she thought of the note. However, it felt good for me to share my thoughts with her.

I thought that was a fitting ending to my trip, but I still had one more adventure in store. I went to an info desk to call my mother from the airport and I ended up leaving my wallet at the desk! My mother and her husband picked me up and we almost made it to the Canadian border before I realized my wallet was missing. We turned around and began driving back to the airport. Then we called the info desk and were told that an airport employee who lives near me was on his way home from work, and had taken my wallet with him. I found it surprising that someone from the airport in Buffalo just happened to live near me on the Canadian side. We turned around again and drove to my place. Sure enough, my wallet made it home before I did!

The next day, I delivered a speech about my trip to New Orleans, at my local Toastmasters club. Toastmasters is a public speaking club that I joined in November 2008. I spoke about Veggie Fest, vegan food and animal rights activism. After my speech, someone said, “What do you eat?” She seemed to be very interested in learning more about veganism, so I said I’d be happy to go grocery shopping with her sometime. We went shopping that night!

I showed her the section with all the faux meats and was surprised to hear her say that she had never even known about those products. Then I showed her all of the different milk alternatives, like soy milk, almond milk, hemp milk and rice milk. She seemed especially surprised to find soy mayonnaise. She asked me about what I eat, and I said I choose to eat more whole foods instead of the faux meats. However, she was excited to try veggie dogs and veggie burgers, and I assured her that those products are infinitely better than eating corpses. She also bought bread made with sprouted grains, kidney beans, black eyed peas, wild rice, kamut pasta, rice pasta, and lots of fruits and veggies.

At midnight, she e-mailed and said she and her husband had tried the soy milk and loved it. She said she’d let me know all about her adventures with veganism!

Life is one big adventure for vegan warriors. There are chances to promote veganism everywhere you look, whether at Veggie Fest, or on an airplane, or in your own backyard. I appreciate my new vegan friends in New Orleans and every other ethical vegan around the world. Thanks for spreading a message of compassion! I look forward to speaking in the U.S. again one day and everywhere else I can, for many years to come.

Why I Love Child Molesters June 1, 2010

If you saw my latest YouTube video called “My Cousin Zeke”, you can see that I’m missing a tooth. Well, judging from the title of this blog, it seems that I may want to lose at least a few more teeth. After all, most people will say they hate child molesters. So, if I say that I love child molesters, it must be because I am a child molester, right?

The fact is, I’m not a child molester. Of course, I’m still relatively young. Maybe one day I’ll slip on a banana peel and wake up wanting to molest children. Anything is possible. However, I’m happy to say that in my present mind, as far as I know, I have no desires of doing anything remotely inappropriate with children. I’m grateful for that, too. Life for someone with inappropriate desires must be a dreadful struggle, every day.

The reason I’m saying that I love child molesters, is because I’m hoping to inspire you to be unconditional with your love. I feel that there’s entirely too much hate in this world, and not enough love. People who have molested children have a history of being reviled by society, and so I thought child molesters would be a fine group of people on which to practice feeling love. OK, so pause for a moment, and practice feeling love for child molesters.

OK, that was fun. Let’s move on.

Perhaps it’s easy for me to say that I love child molesters, because I’ve never been molested and I have no children who have been molested. Perhaps if a child molester had victimized me or someone I love, then I would feel hatred towards child molesters. I will admit that on one hand, I feel like a bad person for saying that I love child molesters. I feel like I’m siding with the enemy. However, I dream of a world where there are no enemies. I dream of a world where we are all friends. So I choose not to hate people. Perhaps society has programmed us to be selective with our love, but I don’t want to be selective. I want to love everyone.

Now, I’m against name calling, and so I apologize for referring to people as “child molesters”. These are just people who have engaged in inappropriate behaviour with one or more children, and I’m not suggesting they are any more evil than anyone else. I understand why the very words “child molester” can disgust people. However, the truth is that the vast majority of the population has harmed, and continues to harm, children on a regular basis.

I see people who have harmed children when I go to the bank. I see them when I go to the grocery store. I see them every time I leave the house. If I wanted to hate people who have harmed children, I’d be hating an enormous percentage of the world’s population. Fortunately, I just don’t have enough energy to hate billions of people. So, instead of hating all these people, I love them. It’s easy to love others. It doesn’t take any energy at all to love others. In fact, love gives me energy.

Now, you may be surprised to hear me say that the world is full of people who have harmed children. However, you need to remember that not all children are human beings. Some children are furry. Other children have feathers or scales.

I recently saw a video of one of the most violent acts towards children that I’ve ever seen in my life. Undercover investigators captured video footage from a dairy farm in Ohio, of a man doing horribly violent things to baby cows (and mother cows too). He seemed to be getting a great deal of enjoyment from watching the cows suffer. When I watched this video, I felt like a big throbbing ball of pain. I wanted to cry, to try to get rid of this pain. However, all I could do was stare at the cruelty. Perhaps I was in shock.

After I watched this video on Facebook, I read some comments on the video. Needless to say, some people were furious. Even people who eat animals were outraged at the cruelty towards defenceless cows. Some people wrote about what they’d like to do to the man in the video. They said they wanted to do the same things to this man, that he had done to the cows. I don’t blame these people for being angry. I don’t blame these people for wanting to cause bodily harm to this man. However, I personally don’t wish for vengeance. I only wish for understanding.

I want to know why this man did what he did. I want to know how working on a dairy farm can pervert a person’s views on animals. I want to know how the desire for money can make corporations treat cows like inanimate objects. I want to know why so many consumers fail to see that slavery is wrong, whether the slave has two legs or four.

The reason I am a vegan, is because I feel empathy for others. When I learned about the cruelty of factory farming twelve years ago, I imagined what it would be like to be artificially inseminated (raped), kept in a cage (tortured), and then processed (killed). I imagined the suffering non-human animals go through, and I decided I would no longer support cruelty. Now, after twelve years as a vegan, I feel my ability to experience empathy has only strengthened. That’s why I’m saying in this blog that I love child molesters.

Obviously, I realize that for various reasons, some people need to be kept away from animals, children, or all beings in general. The man in the video who was cruel to cows, needs to be kept away from cows, and probably most other feeling beings as well. He needs professional help. Perhaps he needs to be kept in prison for many years, if not the rest of his life. However, feeling hatred for this man isn’t going to fix anything.

As an animal rights activist, I’ve seen many videos of people being cruel to animals. I’ll admit that I’ve felt anger towards people who have hurt animals. I’ve wished that all humans would just drop dead, so that all of the other Earthlings on the planet could live in peace. However, I make a point of never forgetting about how I used to behave. I remember the days when I ate meat, dairy products and eggs. I remember the days when I wore leather. I remember my days as a person who caused harm to children who happened to be non-human animals.

I wish I could get everyone to watch videos about animal cruelty. I wish I could get everyone to learn about the child molestation going on all around the world. Some of you may be mad at me for comparing carnism to child molestation. However, you need to know about tail docking, castration, ear clipping, debeaking, and all of the other cruel things being done to babies. You need to know that most animals are still children when they are killed. You also need to know that what happened at the dairy farm in Ohio was not an “isolated incident”, as the dairy industry would like you to believe. Undercover investigators picked that farm at random.

You may think that you’re not the one harming animals. However, buying animal products is just as bad as doing the dirty work yourself.

I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t tell you to stop consuming meat, eggs and dairy products. All I can do is offer you information, and love you regardless of what you do with that information. I encourage you to love me right back. Love other beings too, from humans who have molested children, to animals who are completely innocent.

Vegan Straight Edge June 3, 2010

According to Wikipedia.org,

“Straight Edge refers to a subculture of hardcore punk, which was a direct reaction to the sexual revolution, hedonism, and excess associated with punk rock. In its simplest form, straight edge is a philosophy of staying clean and sober: meaning refraining from using alcoholic beverages, tobacco, and any other recreational drugs. For some, this extends to not engaging in promiscuity, following a vegetarian or vegan diet, and not using caffeine or prescription drugs. The term was coined by the 1980s hardcore punk band Minor Threat in the song ‘Straight Edge’.”

If I wanted to, I could eat a steak, drink whiskey, smoke marijuana, inject heroin into my veins, sleep with a stranger, smoke a cigarette, then wake up the next day and drink a cup of coffee, swallow some pain killers, and repeat the whole process. Perhaps I’d even have a good time. However, I presently feel that I’d have a better time drinking a green smoothie and doing something creative like writing or painting. In short, I like to follow the vegan straight edge lifestyle. However, I haven’t always been this way. In fact, I’ve used drugs and alcohol on a few occasions.

Alcohol: When I was seventeen, I got drunk at a house party off vodka and orange juice. The next day, I vomited during my shift as a dish washer at Pizza Hut. Several months later, I tried to drink a bottle of beer, but I found the taste too disgusting. I decided alcohol wasn’t for me. However, when I was in my mid thirties, I was with some friends in a bar and they wanted to see me drink a glass of beer. They took up a collection and set $100 on the table in front of me. I drank the beer. I felt a little dizzy afterwards, but was grateful for the money. I’m now almost forty and haven’t consumed any beer since that night. During my late thirties, on very rare occasions I’d have a small glass of wine during social outings, but I stopped consuming alcohol altogether a year ago, when I bought a car. I decided that if I never drank alcohol, there’s no way I could ever make the mistake of drinking and driving. I never really liked wine anyway (I only drank it to be fancy like my Mom), so it was easy to stop drinking it.

Marijuana and Hash: I took a drag off a hash bong once when I was twenty-two. I smoked a bit of marijuana on two occasions in my mid-thirties. I smiled a little after each session, but afterwards I felt like I had done something that wasn’t good for me. I haven’t used any recreational drugs at all since the second marijuana session, and I don’t plan on trying drugs again.

Steroids: I had a friend inject a steroid needle into my butt once when I was in my mid-twenties. I realized afterwards that it was a stupid thing to do, and I never used steroids again.

Painkillers: I’ve used painkillers for head-aches several times in my life. However, the last time I had a head-ache, I dealt with the pain in other ways. I ran cold water over my head, massaged my temples, masturbated and took a nap. I felt great afterwards.

Cigarettes: I smoked a cigarette once when I was in my early twenties. I was with a friend and I smoked it as a form of shock humour.

Coffee: I’ve probably had about two dozen cups of coffee in my entire life. I just drank it when everyone around me was drinking it. I know coffee isn’t good for me, and I haven’t had it in a few months. I could easily live the rest of my life without coffee.

So, that’s my entire history of using mind-altering substances. By the way, since this column is on the straight edge lifestyle, I’ll talk about the other two issues mentioned in Wikipedia: promiscuous sex and veganism.

Promiscuous Sex: I’ve only had sexual intercourse with three women in my life, and I knew all three ladies for at least a month before I had sex with them.

Veganism: I’ve been a vegan for almost thirteen years. I was strict with my veganism for about ten years. However, in my late thirties, I cheated occasionally by consuming some non-vegan items. I didn’t buy these products, but when friends or families members baked cupcakes or brought over chocolate bars or potato chips that had some milk ingredients in them, I’d sometimes eat some of these products. I don’t know why I cheated. Perhaps I was feeling down because of the menial jobs I’d had, and had wanted to drown my sorrows with sweets. Fortunately, a year ago I met a woman named Loraine who told me about her son Aiden, a strict vegan. Loraine said Aiden wouldn’t eat anything teachers and students offered him at school, unless he knew the food was completely vegan. This seven-year-old boy inspired me to be strict again with my veganism. I got two tattoos: one that says GO VEGAN and one that says ANIMAL LIBERATION, to reaffirm my pledge to live a compassionate life. I’ve been strict again for the past year. I feel better than ever. Cheating was damaging to my self-esteem. I cheated because I had low self-esteem, and then cheating made my self-esteem even lower. I feel embarrassed to say I ever cheated on my veganism. However, I don’t beat myself up about it. Veganism isn’t about being perfect. Veganism is just about making compassionate choices as often as you can.

The reason why I’m a vegan, is because I don’t like innocent beings getting abused. During my life, I’ve been in situations where drunk people abused me and/or people I loved. I learned to associate alcohol with suffering. For some reason, I still made the decision to experiment with alcohol. However, I knew at a young age that I never wanted to develop a drinking problem. I never wanted to become someone who abused others. I know several people who drink alcohol and use drugs, and yet never abuse anyone. However, over all, I think the world would be a better place without alcohol and recreational drugs.

Several friends have told me that they believe drugs and alcohol can help people be more creative. Others have said that after they come home from a hard day at work, they love to relax on the couch and have a couple of beers. I don’t deny that drugs and alcohol have helped people to unwind, and tap into wells of creativity, and have good times. However, I believe that over all, recreational drugs and alcoholic beverages have done more harm than good in the world.

For instance, think of all the people who have died as a result of impaired driving. Think of all the spouses and children who have been victims of abuse, after someone got drunk and violent. Perhaps I’m just closed-minded about mind-altering substances, because of my bad experiences with intoxicated people. However, I’m grateful that I’ve been able to experience natural highs, without the aid of any substances. I’ve received great highs from performing for live audiences, and volunteering, and creating art.

Now, I realize that we all have different genetics and life experiences. Some people may have real problems with depression, and may not be able to just get high on life. Some people may need to drink coffee and beer, and smoke cigarettes, just to be able to cope with the stresses of life. I’m glad I don’t need to put anything into my body, other than water and healthful food. However, I don’t think I’m any better than people who use mind-altering substances.

My purpose with this blog, is to hopefully inspire you to try getting happy from doing positive things, instead of just ingesting mind-altering substances. Rather than getting drunk while watching a football game, drink some freshly squeezed fruit juice and throw a football around with a friend. Rather than snorting a line of cocaine and having sex with a stranger, smell some flowers and give a friend a massage. Rather than injecting heroin into your veins and participating in an orgy, drink a green smoothie and have stimulating conversations with friends.

Ingesting mind-altering substances is the lazy way to get high. Those highs don’t last, either. If you want highs that last, do something to make the world a better place. Create a memory that will last a lifetime. Volunteer somewhere. Help a person or an animal in need. You can also get in touch with your creative side. Paint a picture. Write a story. Sing, dance, act, tell jokes. You may feel that you don’t have any talent, but that is just a limiting belief that is completely untrue. We are all creative. Use your creativity to find ways to make yourself happy.

You can also use your imagination to picture corporations laughing as they sell billions of dollars worth of cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs that rob people of years of healthy living. Then, say, “Fuck you, evil corporations. I don’t want your poison. I don’t need your nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, or other substances. I'm getting high on life! Get back to me when you start selling organic, healthful foods. Until then, I have no desire to do business with you."

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the term “vegan straight edge” before, but you know about this term now. I know many people who follow the vegan straight edge lifestyle, and I hope clean living sounds good to you too!

Facebook Status Updates June 25, 2010

Many people have said they have enjoyed some of my Facebook status updates. So, I thought I’d compile a list of some of the status updates that generated the most comments over the past six months. I clicked on “Older Posts” at the bottom of my home page repeatedly, until I was reading posts from the beginning of January, 2010. These updates are in no particular order:

Something funny happened, but I don't know if it's too much information. Well, the last three times I sat on the toilet, I forgot that there's no toilet paper. So, I squatted around the house until I found something to wipe with. The last time, I used a retired cum rag that had been in the garbage. Some dried semen probably came in contact with my anus. Is that too much information or is that funny?

If you’re like most people, then you enjoy defecating. In fact, in our fast-paced society, sometimes the toilet is the only place where you can really relax. Well, if you decide to incorporate green smoothies into your life, I guarantee you will be spending more time on the toilet than ever before. In fact, I’m on the toilet right now! Plus, your feces will be green. Number 2 will become Number 1 in your life!

Are you suffering from premature ejaculation? If so, I have three tips: 1. Wear a condom. Condoms make sex feel less good. 2. Ask your partner to please be quiet. It’s hard to last long if he or she makes too many sexy noises. 3. Practice, practice, practice. Eventually, you’ll be lasting so long, your partner will be asking you to finish up already.

I appear to be taking the day off from being a health nut and a good person. All I’ve eaten so far today is cookies, and an hour ago I told someone to fuck off. The cookies are vegan of course, so I haven’t turned into a complete asshole. I really need to make a green smoothie. My world is spiraling out of control.

Today, I saw my first pig in my adult life, at a pet portrait event. It was an emotional experience for me. All of the videos I’ve seen suddenly became very real to me. I saw the big wet nose that has to smell the stench in factory farms. I honestly don’t know how someone can slit the throat of such a gorgeous being.

I don't believe I've ever claimed to be superior to anyone else. Even though I shake it twice, urine sometimes dribbles into my underpants. I've got many other flaws, too. I'm only human. Feel free to let me know if I've ever offended you.

If I die, I want my organs donated. However, I’m also open to the idea of being eaten. I’d rather you eat my sexy, vegan ass, than eat a tortured non-human animal. By the way, if I’m in intensive care, I want vegan vagina juice dabbed onto my lips. I don’t care if this juice comes from a 90-year-old woman. All vegan women are sexy.

Vegans love food more than non-vegans love food, because vegan food is more lovable than non-vegan food.

Have you ever been impressed by someone, and then found out that he or she is not a vegan, and then you suddenly weren't quite so impressed anymore?

I just got back from a Toastmasters conference in Hamilton. Corpse hot dogs were in one pot and veggie dogs were in the other. I saw many people eating veggie dogs, thinking they were eating corpse dogs. Why can't all hot dogs be veggie dogs?! Why are we still killing animals in the year 2010?! No more murder! Go vegan!

Have fun and don't hurt anyone. In other words, be yourself and go vegan!

I was driving in my vegan mobile, and someone drove by me and yelled, "Ya fuckin' homo!" Then there was a red light and I pulled up beside him. I said, "Were you talkin' to me?" He said, "What? I was talkin' to my kids."

I had a dream that a woman wanted to buy me a drink. I told her that I don’t drink alcohol. I said she could get me an orange juice if she wanted to. I’m glad to know that I’m even health conscious in my dreams. Go vegan straight edge!

There's a story on CNN right now about someone who has designed robot fish. These robot fish will lead real fish away from oil spills and into safe waters. Now if someone will only design robot politicians, to lead real politicians to intelligent decisions, we'll be all set!

I just had an adventure. My neighbour had a baby Blue Jay fall out of a nest. I put on a pair of gloves, climbed up onto my neighbour's roof, and she passed the bird up to me in a flower pot. I walked to the top of her roof and peaked under the eaves trough. There were two other babies in the nest. An adult Blue Jay dive bombed me repeatedly, but I finally got the baby into the nest!

Are you feeling slow, mentally and physically? If so, it’s time to upgrade your mind and body by adopting a vegan diet. In 1998, I was John Sakars. Then I adopted a vegan diet and I became John Sakars 2.0. Don’t delay, become You 2.0 today!

There’s a bag of body parts thawing in my kitchen sink. I feel like I’m living with Jeffrey Dahmer. I’m sorry for the chickens who lost their lives so that my roommate could dine on corpses.

I think the reason why I like to have a strong presence on the internet, is because I realize that I could die any day (I'm only a human being). If that were to happen, at least you'd have lots of photos, videos, and notes to remember me by!

There's either gang warfare going on outside, or fireworks. I used to enjoy fireworks. Now I just feel bad for all of the birds, squirrels and other creatures who are scared right now. Non-human animals are so much more mature than silly humans.

I visited a friend tonight who said she doesn't like to eat her greens raw. We cracked open a blender that hadn't been used in fifteen years, grabbed some spinach, apples, a banana and an orange from her fridge and made a green smoothie! She loved it!

I just visited a friend who has high cholesterol. Her doctor put her on a "special diet". She can't have nuts, seeds, or avocados, but she can have chicken and fish. That's HORRIBLE advice. All animal products are bad for you. Whole plant foods are good for you. How is it possible that I know more about nutrition than most doctors?

I hate meat-eating, but I love meat-eaters. After all, my own nephew is a meat-eater, and I love him dearly. Tonight, he actually buttered his pork ribs, but I loved him still. All I can do is offer him vegan food, give him lots of hugs, and lead by example. If he ever chooses to adopt a more compassionate lifestyle, I’ll be thrilled. However, I’ll always love him, no matter what he eats.

This Mother's Day, are you going to suck on Mom's nipples? Are you going to eat her menstruation? No? Then perhaps you'll give other mothers the day off too. Say no to milk and eggs. Mother cows and mother chickens deserve respect and compassion. Go vegan!

When I became a vegan in 1998, I knew one vegan. Times sure have changed. :-)

Let's play the hot new game, "GUESS THE PRODUCT". I will list the ingredients: skim milk powder, sugar, whey protein concentrate, fructose, dextrose, corn bran, soy protein isolate, soy lecithin, soybean oil, whey powder, silicon dioxide, carrageenan, salt, citric acid, color, artificial flavors. Twenty grams of sugar per 33 gram serving.

(After I left the above status update, many people tried to guess the product. The closest guess was from a Facebook friend who guessed protein bars. The product is actually Slim Fast. Yes, a product full of sugar and dairy is called Slim Fast.)

I think that in the future, every single being on the planet will be best friends with every other being on the planet. No one will own anything. We will all just share everything. This probably won't happen until our brains integrate with computers. We presently don't have enough brain power to know everyone on the planet.

Boil some whole grain pasta. Bake some almonds and garlic cloves for about ten minutes. Mix the pasta with the almonds and garlic. Add shreds of dulse (a sea vegetable) and a tablespoon of tahini. Mmm.

Wings are not yummy. The sauce is the part you like. You don't have to kill chickens in order to enjoy sauce. You can put sauce on tempeh or tofu. You can put sauce on your lover and lick it off. Just leave chickens alone.

"If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans," Stephen Hawking is quoted as saying in The Times. So does this mean that the whole universe is full of assholes?

The meat, egg and dairy industries have no morals. People with morals don't rape, torture and murder billions of innocent beings. So, when the meat, egg and dairy industries tell you something, realize you're listening to mass murderers. Don't believe what you are hearing.

Want to have lots of friends? Adopt a vegan diet today, and you'll suddenly have billions of friends! Friends with fur. Friends with feathers. Friends with fins. All kinds of friends!

A friend said to me, "What's the difference between me eating an animal, and an animal eating an animal?" I said, "The difference is that we can make compassionate choices. A lion can't make a green smoothie. A shark can't make vegetable stew. An alligator can't make bean burritos.”

There are many ways to promote veganism. I don't think calling women the C-word is a form of activism. Here on Facebook, there are photos of women hunting, wearing fur, and being cruel to animals in many other ways. Before you insult these women, take a moment to try and understand them. "Seek to understand, then to be understood." Stephen R. Covey

Be yourself. You may have fewer friends as a result, but at least everyone will know who you really are and what you stand for.

My mother has the flu. Her doctor told her to eat chicken soup. That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard. Eat lots of raw fruits and vegetables if you want to be healthy. If you don't want to eat raw fruits and vegetables, then drink them in the form of green smoothies!

I just found out that I've been performing cunnilingus improperly my whole life. That tongue flicking you see in pornos is just for show. More direct contact is better.

I'm thirty-nine years old and my penis still fascinates me. I think that says a lot.

I saw a guy spend an hour hosing down his driveway today. I should have asked him if he'd ever heard of a broom. Instead, all I did was fantasize about strangling him with his garden hose for wasting so much water. Gee, that was productive of me.

I just killed a bunny. I was driving home from a vegan potluck and the bunny hopped in front of me. I hit the brakes but it was too late. I felt a bump, and then I looked in my rear view mirror. The bunny was struggling to get off the road, and then another car hit her. Killing feels absolutely awful. This is the second time my vegan mobile became a killing machine. Several months ago I killed a squirrel.

Happy Good Friday. I know nothing about religion, but I know that veganism is good. Try going one whole day without eating the corpses and excretions of tortured beings. You may find that compassion suits you remarkably well!

Before I became a vegan, my favourite store was called The Meat Box. I bought boxes of steaks and chicken breasts. My favorite drinks were chocolate milk and egg nog. My favourite desserts were cheesecake and butter tarts. I don't think I was a bad person. I just didn't know the stories behind the "products" I was consuming.

I heard a radio advertisement today for a product that can make your penis thicker. I guarantee the only things becoming thicker are the wallets of the people who prey on people's insecurities. Smalls penis? Small breasts? Thinning hair? Cellulite? No one will love you if you're not perfect. Buy our product today!

I've had a headache since last night. My sister gave me a blue pill that says ALEVE on it. So far, I've resisted taking this pill, because I don't like drugs or corporations. I just drank a green smoothie, so I should be OK. Maybe I should try and masturbate and then take a nap. That will make everything all better.

I drank three entire blenders full of green smoothies today. Whenever I'm thirsty, I think to myself, "Hmm, if I'm going to drink some water, I should put the water into my blender along with some dark greens and fruit. Then I can quench my thirst and load my body with nutrients at the same time!" My immune system must love me.

In the future, there will be no drugs or alcohol. Everyone will be high on life. People will be living in communes, with lots of socializing and happy times. You won't be working forty hours a week at a job you hate. You won't feel a need to escape from reality. You will love reality.

All animal products are bad for you. Fish, low fat dairy products, boneless chicken breasts and egg whites cause heart disease, cancer, diabetes and obesity. I'm tired of so-called "nutritionists" telling people to eat the flesh and excretions of my friends. Note to shitty nutritionists: READ THE CHINA STUDY!

Just as rock beats scissors, empathy beats apathy and tofu beats corpse.

Evil Corporations June 29, 2010

Facebook Status Update: June 27, 2010

“John Sakars: Since corporations are evil, we need to avoid giving money to corporations whenever possible. Wear old clothes, grow your own food, and tell corporations to fuck off. Drugs, alcohol, coffee, pop, and processed foods are garbage that turn you into a slave. Desiring material possessions turns you into a slave. Free yourself from lies. Free the world of greed. Say no to corporations.”

After I wrote that status update, someone asked me what non-corporation made my computer and vegan mobile. She asked me what non-corporation was my internet provider. She said my status update was full of “irony and hypocrisy”.

After I read her words, I realized she was correct. I own many, many things that were made by corporations. How can I tell people to avoid supporting corporations, when my home is full of things made by corporations?

I thought I’d take a walk around the house my sister and I rent, and see how many things I own that were made by corporations. Besides my computer and Vegan Mobile, I own a drum set, conga drums, an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar, a guitar amplifier, a keyboard, two microphones, two printers, a projector, an overhead projector, a projector screen, a digital camera, a video camera, a tripod, computer speakers, a TV/DVD player combo, a power bar, two extension cords, a juicer, a blender, a coffee grinder (to grind my flax seeds—I don’t drink coffee), a telescope, a microscope, an iron, an ironing board, two winter coats, winter gloves, a winter hat, a three-piece suit, a modest wardrobe comprised of jeans and many animal rights T-shirts, socks, underwear, a laundry basket, a chicken costume, a cow costume, a pig costume, an alarm clock, some glass food storage containers, a water filter, a reusable water bottle, reusable shopping bags, a filing cabinet, a drill, a jig saw, a belt sander, a staple gun, two hammers, several screwdrivers, an adjustable wrench, two pairs of scissors, an easel, paint brushes, paint, an air brush, an air brush compressor, an electric hair trimmer, a nose hair trimmer, a neti pot, five plastic sprouters, three hemp sprouting bags, a CD Walkman, a black light, a large punching bag, a barbell, dumbbells, iron weights, a chin-up bar, push-up bars, an inflatable kayak, a Frisbee, a backpack, a yoga mat, several CDs, a few DVDs, books, two books shelves, a couch, a bicycle, a watch, a razor, a tooth brush, and a toilet brush.

Wow. I never realized I own so much stuff. What the heck do I need all of this stuff for? Actually, I’m now realizing I own even more stuff than that. I also own the eye glasses I’m wearing and my removable tooth. Plus, I use stuff that my sister bought, that was made by corporations. I use her washer and dryer. I use her fridge and stove. I use her cutlery. I use her telephone. I use her furniture. Where would I be right this very moment, if I were to avoid everything made by corporations?

Well, I certainly wouldn’t be writing this blog right now, since I wouldn’t have a computer or a home in which to plug in the computer. In fact, I’d be out in nature, looking for some vegetation to eat, clean water to drink, and a sheltered place to go in case it began raining. I’d be looking for a safe place to spend the night. I’d be looking for the company of fellow human beings. Everything would be a little blurry, because I wouldn’t have eyeglasses. My smile would be slightly less attractive, without my fake tooth. I wouldn’t have a telephone on which to dial 911 if I were to need help. Who knows, maybe I’d even start believing in God because I’d be afraid something bad would happen to me!

Of course, if I spent enough time avoiding corporations, I would eventually learn to live off the land. I would learn to live with other human beings in a peaceful, harmonious community. However, I’d still find comfort in the fact that modern inventions exist, which were made by corporations--inventions that could help me if I were ever in serious danger. I’d be grateful that ambulances exist, and roads on which ambulances can drive, and emergency rooms.

OK, so I’ve admitted that I’m grateful that corporations have created technologies that can help us when we are in need. However, I happen to own many possessions which I certainly don’t need in order to survive.

As I look at my list of possessions I bought from corporations, I can see that everything seems to fall into five categories: things I need in order to be a functional member of society, things that help me to be healthy, things I use to educate myself, things I use to express myself, and things I don’t really need at all. I could write a whole book about my possessions, but it’s not necessary for me to talk about every single little item. I’ll just share my thoughts on a few different possessions, to get you thinking about your own possessions. Then, you can decide for yourself what objects you do or do not need.

Things I Need in Order to be a Functional Member of Society

Clothing: I obviously need clothes and shoes. I’m proud to say that ninety percent of my wardrobe is stuff I bought from used clothing stores. I also own many T-shirts with animal rights themes which I purchased new. I have gloves that I bought new, but I bought them from a friend. After going to four different stores to buy a pair of gloves, and seeing that everything was made in China, I commissioned my friend to make me a pair of gloves from vegan wool made from recycled pop bottles. I had to be patient and pay a little more for my gloves, but it felt great to give my money to a good friend, instead of giving my money to a corporation.

Other: I like having a telephone, a tooth brush, and something comfortable to sleep on. I presently sleep on an old couch that I got for free. I also need an alarm clock. Refrigerators are useful too, for keeping my food fresh. Perhaps I’ll think of something else I need, but for now, I can’t think of anything else I really need to own.

Things that Help Me to Be Healthy

Water Filter, Reusable Water Container, Blender: By filling my reusable water container with filtered tap water, I can avoid using bottled water. Plus, as we strive to avoid bottled water, it’s important to avoid other packaged beverages as well. It’s better to use fresh produce and filtered tap water, and make your own juices and smoothies at home with a blender or juicer. You can also make your own soy milk, almond milk, rice milk, etc. To be healthier, help the environment, and reduce the amount of money you're giving to corporations, you may want to try limiting your consumption of coffee, alcohol, pop, and cigarettes, or eliminating those products from your life entirely.

Reusable Food Containers: One of the best ways to limit the amount of money you give to corporations, is to buy food that is as close to its natural state as possible. Buy fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, nuts and seeds, and prepare your own meals. Support your local farmers market, and/or grow your own garden. I’m glad to say I can’t even remember the last time I used a can opener. Bring a lunch to work in your reusable food containers, instead of going to a restaurant that is owned by corporations. Be healthier, save money, avoid buying a lot of packaging, and avoid giving money to corporations that are destroying planet Earth.

Exercise Equipment: I used to exercise at a gym owned by a corporation. Now, I choose to cycle, hike and walk, and work-out in my home using just a few weights, a chin-up bar and a yoga mat.

Sprouters: Growing sprouts is something anyone can do, anywhere! I’ve grown lentil sprouts, mung
bean sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, and a variety of other sprouts right inside my home! I bought sprouters from the health food store and online, but you can even grow sprouts using a simple glass jar. There’s lots of information on the internet about how to grow your own sprouts. I realize that sprouters are material objects, but if I’m using them to grow my own healthy food, then they are worthwhile possessions!

Things I Use to Educate/Entertain Myself

Books: Books have helped me in every area of my life. However, I don’t need to own books that no longer serve me. I’ve donated many books in the past, and I have many more books I need to donate soon. After I do so, I can get rid of one of the book shelves I made, too. Strive to borrow books or buy used books. However, if you’re going to buy new books, at least try to actually read the whole book.

TV/DVD Player: I own a TV with a built-in DVD player. I don’t use it to watch TV, though. I think corporations must spend billions on TV commercials because those commercials are effective, and so I avoid television that could affect my mind in negative ways. So, I just watch DVDs. Instead of renting DVDs from corporations, I borrow DVDs from the library. You’ll be amazed at what you can find at the library!

Computer: I enjoy watching educational videos on the internet. I’m grateful films like "Earthlings" and "Meet Your Meat" are available for free on the internet. Unfortunately, I still haven’t been able to stop myself from looking at porn occasionally on the internet. However, I like to think I’m continuing to evolve every day. Maybe one day I can eliminate my desire to see nude women on the internet.

Things I Use to Express Myself

Computer: My computer is definitely my favourite possession. Through the internet, I’m able to share my thoughts and creativity with the world.

Printer: Printers are useful for writing letters to groups that are causing suffering, as well as letters to imprisoned activists who should be thanked for their noble deeds.

Projector/Screen: I use these things to deliver slideshows when I speak. Schools have these items already, but sometimes I speak in places where I need to bring my own equipment. Perhaps one day I’ll be a good enough speaker, that I won’t even need any visual aids at all.

Camera/Video Camera: I’ve very much enjoyed using these tools to photograph my art and make videos for the internet. If you own cameras and video cameras, I urge you to use these tools to captures images that can inspire people. Uploading videos onto YouTube and Facebook is quick, easy, and can change the world.

Art Materials: During my slideshows, my art made from found objects and recycled materials has given me credibility as I speak about a variety of important social issues, from impaired driving to recycling. If you are a visual artist, I urge you to use found objects whenever possible, so you can avoid supporting corporations. I also urge you to produce art that can inspire people to make compassionate choices.

Musical Instruments: I’ve written many songs with animal rights themes. We should purchase used musical instruments whenever possible, and use these instruments to write songs that address important social issues.

Things I’ve Made

I’m happy to say that all of my art is in public and private collections throughout Southern Ontario. However, I do have four items in my basement right now which I’m seeking homes for. Visit www.johnsakars.com to see my art. E-mail me at jsakars@yahoo.ca for information about art of mine that is available. If you have art that you have created, be open to the idea of donating your work.

Things I Don’t Really Need At All

Well, it’s up to me to decide what possessions of mine fit into this category. For instance, do I really need a car? Perhaps some people need a car. However, the vast majority of us don’t. Most of us could move to a home that is close to our place of employment, and walk, ride a bike, or use public transportation to get to work.

What about my other possessions? What should I keep and what should I sell or donate? I have many possessions that I haven’t used in a long time, like my keyboard and telescope. Maybe I could inspire a child to become the next great composer or astronomer, if I were to donate these items.

Respect Planet Earth

It is important for us to respect planet Earth, and so we must not waste resources. We should consider donating things we aren’t using, instead of just owning things because we’re too greedy to give them to people who will actually use them.

I had a bread maker and a vegetable steamer I hadn’t used in a while, so I recently gave those items to my next door neighbour. I would like to get rid of some other possessions, too. I think it would be best for me to donate items to a fundraiser for a group that I support, like Niagara Action for Animals (NAfA).

I have many possessions that I really don’t need. I could write more about my various belongings, but I think my point has been made. It's important to differeniate between tools you are using to make the world a better place, and things that are mere status symbols. If you have something you haven’t used in a long time, you should consider selling or donating that item. Taking something from Earth, and then not even using that item, is a slap to the face of Mother Earth. I urge you to consider getting rid of things you don’t use.

I remember reading about a guy who had an idea for a place where you could go to borrow things. The place would be like a library, but for stuff other than books. You could borrow something, and then bring it back in the same condition as when you borrowed it. Let’s say you needed to drill a hole in the wall. Instead of buying a drill that you may only use once, you could just borrow a drill. You could have a card, just like a library card, and borrow whatever you needed, for free. I’d be happy to donate my belongings to a place like this. Imagine how much less stuff you’d have to buy! Corporations would lose a lot of money and planet Earth would get far less abused!

Some people say to me that if people only bought stuff they really needed, many people would be out of a job. Well, that’s a sad state of affairs, if I’ve ever heard of one. We have to destroy the planet, just so people can have jobs?! Once the planet is destroyed, no one is going to have a job, because we’ll all be dead!

I think the solution to this problem is for people to simply work fewer hours at jobs that we actually need people to be working at. Then, everyone can have a job and we won’t have people working at jobs making crap we don’t need. We can have people working on organic farms. We can have people making clothing from organic fibres. We can have people working together making homes from recycled materials.

Right now, we have people working forty plus hours a week at jobs they don’t like, so they can make enough money to buy crap they don’t need. Then, they have to buy homes big enough to contain all their crap, and as a result they have big bills to pay for utilities, property taxes, etc.

Why can’t these people get roommates to move into these big homes with them, so they can have a lower cost of living and not have to work so much? Because they’re worried that roommates would be annoying, and there would be lots of arguing going on. After working long days at difficult jobs, people just want to be able to relax in front of televisions, and eat processed foods, and not have to deal with other human beings.

I understand that some people aren’t attracted by the idea of living in a commune, or intentional community. However, if you weren’t working forty plus hours at a difficult job, maybe you’d have enough energy to learn how to get along with people in a close-knit community. Who knows, you may even learn to love community living. You may enjoy preparing food with others, and making clothing with others, and building homes with others. You may find you have more spare time too, to do the things you had always wanted to do, like learn how to play the guitar or write a book. You'd have more time to volunteer for important causes, too!

I personally love the idea of living in a vegan commune, or even just a house full of vegans. I love the idea of not giving money to corporations who abuse humans, non-human animals, and the environment. However, at the same time, I don’t want to completely separate myself from a society that is still supporting evil corporations.

There are presently more human and non-human animal slaves in the world today, than ever before in history. I feel a strong moral obligation to help stop all of this unnecessary suffering. I need to interact with people who are supporting corporations that are acting irresponsibly. I need to teach people to adopt vegan lifestyles. I need to teach people how to live in harmony with nature.

As I teach people to avoid buying things they don’t need, I think it’s important for me to do my best to get rid of things I don’t need, too. As far as making the world a better place goes, all I really need are leaflets from Vegan Outreach to hand out. However, I also feel very strong desires to be creative. I love writing, painting, creating music, taking pictures, and making videos. I love delivering slideshows during my public speaking engagements. Doing these different things requires certain tools, like my computer, video camera, paint brushes, etc.

Of course, I don’t really need to do all of those different things. For instance, I could decide to just focus on writing, and give away all of my art and musical equipment. I’m certainly not a very good guitar player, and will probably never develop a strong desire to be good at that instrument. So, wouldn’t it be better for me to donate the guitar to a child who does possess a strong desire to get good at the guitar? That’s something I need to consider.

Though we can become attached to our possessions, we can also become attached to the idea of not being attached to possessions. I’ve gone through periods where I spent hours wondering if I should keep something or give it away. Other times, I’ve acted very impulsively. One day, I came home and suddenly decided to get rid of about thirty paintings I’d done. I threw them all into a dumpster. I later came to regret doing that. I’d spent hundreds of hours creating all of that art, and I knew several people who would have liked owning some of it. However, at the time, I felt like my paintings were awful and my whole art career had been a big waste of time.

As far as my belongings go, I need to decide what I want to keep and what would be better off in the hands of others. We all need to think about what possessions are serving us, and what possessions are cluttering our lives. I don’t claim to have all of the answers. However, I do have some things for you to consider.

I think that tools are far more important than status symbols. Tools are things that you use to express yourself and help others. For me, tools are things like my computer, my video camera, and my paint brushes. Tools are things I use to communicate my ideas to others, and to express my creativity. Status symbols are things that insecure people buy in an attempt to build some self-esteem. Some people aren’t confident enough to stand among their friends while wearing a coat from a used clothing store. They would be embarrassed to be seen wearing second-hand clothing, driving inexpensive cars, and living in small houses.

Do you think I'm embarrassed when I wear used clothing? Absolutely not. That’s because I’m a vegan superhero. I’m a freedom fighter. I’m too busy fighting for animal liberation, to go on shopping sprees. In fact, I would be embarrassed to be seen wearing an expensive watch, or driving an expensive sports car, or living in a mansion. My vegan superhero friends would say, “John, what the hell happened to you? There are billions of animals getting tortured and murdered! You need to get your priorities straight. We’re having vegan bake sales to raise money for important causes, and you’re wasting your money like an asshole!”

I love my circle of vegan superhero friends. They love me, too. We don't have to buy expensive things in order to impress each other. Our common cause brings us all together. I have activist friends who are doctors and lawyers, and I have activist friends who do manual labour for a living. However, we love and respect each other as equals. We come together to fight corporate greed, and spread a message of compassion.

As I said earlier, not all corporations are always bad all the time. A corporation built my computer and I’m using this computer to write this blog right now. However, even though some good is being done by corporations, there is also a great deal of evil being done by corporations. Corporations want to make as much money as they possibly can, and they will do anything necessary to achieve that objective.

They set up factories where people are starving to death, hire those people, and then pay them just enough money so they can survive. In situations where corporations will receive a fine if they pollute the environment, they’ll simply go ahead and pollute the environment if the cost of the fine is less than what it would have cost them to avoid polluting the environment. The fines are usually low too, because politicians and corporations are buddies, and they work together to establish the laws.

As an animal rights activist, I know that corporations are especially cruel when it comes to exploiting non-human animals. Cages are expensive, so to get maximum productivity from each cage, they’ll stuff as many chickens as they can into each cage, as many as eleven birds per cage. They’ll feed dead animals to other animals, and turn gentle beings into cannibals. They’ll kill egg-laying hens and dairy cows as soon as their productivity decreases. Animals are so sick from being abused that they often can’t even walk, and so these animals, called “downers”, are pushed or dragged violently into the slaughterhouse. They rush animals through slaughterhouses so quickly, the animals often don’t get stunned properly, and they are still alive even after they get their throats slit, and they suffer as they drown in their blood or get boiled alive or skinned alive. I could go on and on.

Many books could be written about the evil things corporations do. I urge you to watch a fantastic documentary called "The Corporation". You can learn about how corporations behave like psychopaths. Fortunately, all of the information is out there. You simply need to take the time to learn about what corporations are doing. Then, you can make educated decisions about what corporations you want to support.

While I urge you to investigate corporations before you give them your money, I am also reminding myself of the need to research corporations.

Several months ago, I wanted to add the words ANIMAL LIBERATION onto the sides of my vegan mobile, with vinyl letters. I bought the letters from a corporation, and later found out that the corporation supports a group that tests on animals. I also bought garlic from the grocery store and later saw that the garlic was a product of China. I’m sure I’ve made many other mistakes that I’m not even aware of. However, even though I’ve made mistakes, I’ve also had huge successes!

Last holiday season, my Toastmasters club wanted to have a party and have everyone purchase $10 gifts. I suggested that we avoid supporting corporations and instead bring used items. I encouraged people to find an item they owned that they didn’t need, and wrap that item in newspaper instead of wrapping paper. The gift exchange at the party was a lot of fun for everyone. If someone was unhappy with the present they opened, they simply exchanged their present with others, until everyone was happy. Then my family wanted me to exchange presents with them as well. I said I’d participate in holiday season gift giving, but I wasn’t supporting any corporations. Instead, I bought used clothing for everyone. Since the holidays, I’ve avoided buying anyone a present that was made by a corporation. I recently bought a necklace that a friend of mine made, and gave the necklace to my mom for her birthday. When giving presents to others, I urge you to avoid supporting corporations, too. Instead, buy used items, or items made by friends, or make a gift yourself. Or simply do something nice for someone, like making your loved one dinner.

When I wrote the status update at the beginning of this blog, I wasn’t feeling angry about any corporation in particular. I realized I sounded like a hypocrite as I urged people to avoid supporting corporations, while using a computer made by a corporation. However, I hope that in this blog I’ve made my message clear. I hope I’ve inspired you to research corporations and discover for yourself how badly most of them are behaving. I hope I’ve inspired you to stop buying things that you don’t really need, and donate possessions that you don’t use. I hope I’ve inspired you to adopt a vegan diet, avoid processed foods, and buy mainly used items. I hope I’ve inspired you to move closer to your place of employment, to reduce your dependence on cars, and to consider living with roommates to reduce your cost of living.

OK, now that I have officially written the blog that will heal the world, I’m going to make a green smoothie to celebrate. However, now that you know about every possession that I own, I will now have to go out and rescue a huge dog from a shelter, so that he or she can scare you away before you break in and steal all my crap!

My Removable Body Part July 4, 2010

My grandmother Nancy died at the age of fifty-four of pancreatic cancer. I believe the year was 1983. My family used to live in the house next door to her, on McLeod Road in Niagara Falls. I remember her giving me pieces of rhubarb from her backyard. However, my most vivid memories of her involve her removable body part.

When she was a teenager, she broke her leg in a tobogganing accident. Gangrene set in and her leg had to be amputated. However, she learned to have fun with her prosthetic leg. At backyard parties, she would take off her leg and drink beer out of it. I remember one time, my grandmother stood by the road and drank beer out of her leg as people drove by and honked. She made everyone laugh with her removable body part.

Little did I know that one day I would have a removable body part of my very own!

About a year after grandma died, I was playing hockey on my backyard skating rink. A friend from school, who barely knew how to skate, had come over for a visit. He was pretending to be a helicopter by swinging his hockey stick in circles over his head. I turned around to face him, and his stick smacked me hard in the mouth. As I watched my blood drip onto the ice, I told him it was time for him to leave.

My tooth was very loose and I thought I was going to lose it. However, after a few days my gums tightened up again and the tooth remained in my head. For now.

About eight years later, I got a very painful toothache. I was sleeping over at my mom’s house and the left side of my face swelled up over night. In the morning, my mother was shocked at how much my face had swollen. My left eye was partially swollen shut. My brother said I looked like The Elephant Man. My dentist gave me a prescription for some antibiotics.

A couple of days later I was at work and I went to the bathroom to check on my gums, which were all squishy like a waterbed. I pushed my lips up and some pus dripped down my teeth. I then started pushing on my gums and all of the pus oozed out. About a spoonful of pus dripped into the toilet as my gums deflated. I came out of the bathroom looking a lot less swollen.

After the swelling had completely gone down, I got a root canal. My tooth didn’t bother me again for several years. Then when I was thirty-two, some of the enamel chipped off my tooth. I asked the dentist about getting the chip fixed, and he said I’d need a crown. I asked the dentist how long a crown would last. He said it would last as long as any of my other teeth. So, I spent $800 on a crown. The tooth looked great. I was happy with my decision.

Then five years later, I was watching a movie about a boxer called Billion Dollar Baby. I ate pistachios and watch the boxer train hard, box well and make her dreams come true. Then, when I got down to my last pistachio, I tried to use my front teeth to pry open the shell.

My front tooth popped off as I pried on the pistachio shell. I reached into my mouth and picked the tooth up off my tongue. I paused the movie and went to the bathroom to see what I looked like. I was disappointed about the loss of my tooth, but I managed to find the hole in my smile mildly amusing. I wasn’t looking forward to finding out how much it was going to cost to get my tooth fixed. However, I wanted to watch the rest of the movie, so I tried not to think about my new problem.

I resumed watching the movie, and about a minute later the boxer in the movie suffered a horrible injury. I won’t ruin the plot for you. I’ll just say the main character had many awful things happen to her, which were much worse than losing a tooth.

I found out that a dental implant would have cost between two and three thousand dollars, so I opted instead to spend a few hundred dollars on something called a “flipper tooth”. It’s a big piece of plastic that rests against my gums and has one tooth on it. At first, it felt strange to have this piece in my mouth, but I got used to it after a few weeks. In fact, I did more than get used to it. I learned to like it.

I took out my flipper tooth and pretended I was a monster when I played with my nephew. He seemed to be as fascinated by my removable tooth as I was with my grandmother’s removable leg. I also painted a self-portrait sans flipper tooth. Finally, I decided to incorporate my flipper tooth into a comedy sketch I had written. The word “mirth” sounded a lot funnier to me with a lisp. So when I performed at The House of Comedy on amateur night, I removed the tooth when I said the word mirth. I heard a few people in the audience groan as I removed my tooth, but they still seemed to be entertained. It felt liberating to be taking out my tooth in front of a room full of people!

Then, a couple of years ago, I signed up for a meditation course. During the six-month course, we learned how to practice concentration meditation while walking and sitting. However, I most appreciated learning about the nature of impermanence. Our head instructor taught us that suffering comes from our attachment to our possessions and our egos. She said we have to realize that everything is impermanent. I thought about how I had believed that the crown on my front tooth was going to be permanent. However, it had only lasted for five years. The crown had been anything but permanent.

I created a collage depicting three people meditating in a forest setting, and I donated the work of art to the meditation centre. Now, when I deliver slideshows of my art, I talk about the nature of impermanence. I take out my flipper tooth and smile wide. I often see mouths drop when I take out my tooth in front of a big crowd. When I was in high school, I remember feeling insecure once when my mother gave me a haircut that I didn’t like. It feels great to now be able to take out my tooth, displaying a “flawed” smile, and not feel the least bit insecure. It feels good to show people how to accept their flaws and even to have fun with their flaws, like my grandmother did with her prosthetic leg.

As some of you may have seen already, I made a series of YouTube videos with a character I created named “Cousin Zeke”. To become Zeke, I simply remove my flipper tooth and eyeglasses, put on a wig and a backwards baseball cap, and speak with my best impersonation of a Southern accent. I never would have got the idea for this character, if not for my removable tooth. When I remove my tooth, I have a bit of a lisp and it becomes easy for me to pretend that I’m an entirely different person. With these videos, I have addressed serious issues in an entertaining way. I’ve had family members listen to Cousin Zeke talk about factory farming, while those same family members had stopped listening to me talk about factory farming years ago.

One time I was speaking at an elementary school and a little girl came up to me after my talk. Her two front baby teeth had fallen out. She asked me to take out my tooth again, so I did. She smiled at me and I smiled right back. Our smiles weren’t perfect according to society’s typical standards of beauty, but we didn’t care.

The little girl will of course grow new teeth and I won't. However, even though I have a missing tooth, I feel whole. In fact, I feel better than whole. I feel prepared for the future. I know that nothing is permanent. I know that if I'm fortunate enough to live to a ripe old age, I’m going to lose more parts of my body. I’ll lose more hair. I’ll lose more muscle mass. I’ll lose more bone mass. I’ll lose more brain cells. Maybe I’ll even lose a leg one day, like my grandmother. However, one thing I hope to never lose, is my sense of humour.

Now, I realize that some people don’t have enough money for a flipper tooth or a prosthetic leg. I also realize that other people have much more serious challenges, than simply one missing body part. Some people are missing both arms and legs. Some people are blind and deaf. Some people are paralyzed. So in comparison, missing a tooth is completely petty.

However, my purpose in this blog is not to compare difficulties. My purpose is to inspire you to look for a bright side in any situation. If your lover blasts a load of semen into your right eye, be glad that you can still see out of your left eye. Be grateful that you have any eyes at all. Love your whole body, no matter what. If you have any removable body parts, learn to have fun with those parts. Don’t drink alcohol out of your prosthetic leg, because alcohol is not good for you, but drink a green smoothie out of your leg whenever you like. Be grateful to be alive!

Why the Future Belongs to Me January 5, 2010

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world and all there ever will be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein.

One of my favourite things to do is to use my imagination to think about the future. I can’t say for certain what the future will bring. However, based on what I’ve read on the internet, it seems quite possible that I will be able to live forever. I’m not joking. Some of you may think I’m crazy after you read this blog. You will read things that seem too good to be true. Don’t worry though. I too know what it’s like to hear about things that seem too good to be true.

I remember hearing about something that seemed too good to be true back in 1996.

I was in college and a guest speaker came to our school to tell us about something called “The Internet”. He told us that through this thing called the internet, we’d be able to access information from all around the world. I remember being shocked to hear this. This exciting news sounded too good to be true.

Then one day, my brother and I (he was my roommate at the time) got our computer hooked up to the internet. Sure enough, I was able to access information from around the world. One day, a friend of mine came over and showed me a website that had pictures of nude women. I thought that was quite interesting. Then I thought about what I would really like to see on the internet.

Back in the mid 80s and early 90s, I was a huge fan of heavy metal music videos. These bands were like gods to me and I would record their videos onto VHS tapes. Then one day, I used my imagination to ponder the future. I thought to myself, “There are surely many other people who would like to see old music videos that they loved. One day, we’ll somehow have access to every video we ever liked.” Now, so many years later, this dream has become a reality.

In fact, not only can I watch videos of others on YouTube, but I can also upload videos of myself! I can use my imagination to write a song, record a video of me performing the song, and minutes later have the video uploaded onto the internet so that anyone in the world can watch me perform. That’s absolutely incredible! I know we humans learn to take things for granted very quickly, but I urge you to take a moment from time to time to appreciate technology.

Take telephones for example. I have a friend who lives in California. To this day, it absolutely amazes me that I can hold a piece of plastic in my hand and have a conversation with someone on the other side of the continent as clearly as if he were sitting right beside me.

My nephew loves playing videos games. He doesn’t sit in awe, wondering how videos games work. He doesn’t give thanks every day to the people who invented video games. He just plays the games. He takes video games for granted. In fact, most of us take technology for granted.

In the future, we will continue to take technology for granted. We won’t spend time thinking about how people struggled in the past. How often do you think about how difficult life must have been for someone living in prehistoric times? If you have a tooth ache, you just go to the dentist. You don’t think to yourself, “Gee, I’m fortunate to be living in an age when we have such things as dentists.”

In the future, when you will be able to upload your mind into a computer system, you will be impressed with the technology temporarily. But after a while, you’ll take that technology for granted too. Mind uploading will feel like ancient history. You may spend some time thinking about the people who didn’t live long enough to be able to see such technology as mind uploading. However, after a while, people will spend as much time thinking about life in the year 2010 as they presently think about life in the year 1010 or the year 10.

Back in 1996, I was indeed shocked to hear about the internet. Now, you may be even more shocked to hear me talk about mind uploading. I’m not a scientist, so I’m not even going to pretend that I know how mind uploading will become a reality. However, I’ve watched several videos on the internet (I love you internet) by a man named Ray Kurzweil and other futurists. And I believe that mind uploading is inevitable.

Every futurist and scientist I’ve read about on the internet, says that technology grows exponentially. The rate at which technology grows keeps getting faster, and faster and FASTER! Futurists know that we are on the verge of a technological explosion. I’ve read about technologies that are blowing my mind. I appreciate the present moment as much as I can. However, I can’t help but be extremely excited about the future!

OK, I’m not a mind reader, but is this what you’re thinking right now?

“Oh, I’m sure the future will be full of awesome technology. But only the ultra wealthy will be able to afford this technology.”

Initially, advanced technology is indeed expensive. I remember at one time, only the richest family in my neighbourhood owned a VCR. If my family wanted to have a movie night, we had to rent a VCR from the video store. We rented VCRs until they became affordable enough for our family to actually buy a VCR. In the future, only the richest family in your neighbourhood will be able to upload their minds into computer systems. They’ll brag about their adventures in virtual reality for a month or two, until mind uploading becomes affordable. Then, you’ll be in virtual reality too. You may occasionally think about what life was like before mind uploading. But after a while, you’ll just take mind uploading for granted.

Ray Kurzweil predicts that we will be able to upload our minds into computer systems by the year 2029. At that time I’ll be fifty-eight. Does that sound too good to be true? OK, what if it takes an extra ten years? Then I’ll be sixty-eight. Or if it takes twice as long as Ray Kurzweil is predicting, then I’ll be seventy-eight.

There are no guarantees in life. I know I could drop dead any second, long before mind uploading is a reality. Perhaps some of my friends and family members will die before mind uploading becomes a reality. All I can do is take great care of my human body and encourage you to take care of your body too. Exercise. Adopt a vegan diet. Eat lots of healthful fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds. Avoid cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol, processed foods, fried foods and coffee. Don’t take your human body for granted. You’re fortunate to be alive.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

I know that the future belongs to me. Please take care of yourself and believe in your dreams and the future can belong to you too. As far as the future is concerned, anything is possible!

My Pubic Hair July 7, 2010

If you read my blog called “Why the Future Belongs to Me”, then you know that I hope to one day evolve beyond my present human form. Perhaps I’ll integrate with technology and become superhuman. I’ve read a lot about what our future world will be like, and it seems inevitable that we humans will evolve beyond our present forms. I don’t know for certain if I’ll still be alive when humans become more than just homo sapiens. However, I have a feeling that future beings will be curious about what homo sapiens were like. For instance, maybe they’ll be curious about what it was like to fart, vomit, and ejaculate. They may also be curious about our bodies. Just in case they become curious about what it was like to have pubic hair, I will proceed to tell you some stories about my short and curlies. However, even if beings from the future don’t ever become curious about pubic hair, I’m quite certain that I’m going to become famous one day. I’m sure biographers of the future will be grateful for this blog, just as biographers of our present day would be thrilled to stumble across some text of Elvis commenting on his own pubic hair.

Before I tell you my first pubic hair story, I will tell you about my most memorable crotch experience, before I even had pubic hair.

I don’t know exactly how old I was when I had my penis operated on, but today I said to my mom, “Hey mom, how old was I when I had my penis operated on?” and she said I was about two and a half. I was surprised to hear her say I was that young, because the memories are vivid. However, if you want to give a boy a memorable experience, I’m guessing the best thing you can do is operate on his penis.

My mother said she had been finding urine all over the toilet when I was two and a half. So one day, she secretly watched me while I urinated. OK, I am now going to call her and clarify the nature of my urination sessions.

Feel free to have a drink or urinate until I continue writing.

OK, I just got off the phone with my mom. She said, “I was concerned because the pee came out in spurts. It wasn’t just a stream like normal.”

OK, I don’t know exactly what it means to “pee in spurts”. Maybe I was just a lazy pisser. Maybe I was practicing penis control, by stopping my piss mid-stream in hopes of being able to avoid premature ejaculation later in life. Regardless, after seeing me pee, my mother took me to a doctor and I was scheduled for surgery.

I remember being in the surgery room and having a mask put over my face. Then I remember waking up back in my hospital room and my father visiting me. I got up to go to the bathroom and . . . Wow! It hurt! To this day, I don’t know what the doctor did to my penis. All I know is that he did something to my urethra so that the urine would flow “normally”, and afterwards it felt like my penis was on fire. I just hope my mother was happy with the new flow of my urine. Maybe all mothers want their sons to produce lovely arches of urine, like those fountains with the little boys pissing.

Actually, that doesn’t sound nice. I’m sure my mom was just concerned about my health. I’m sure she would have loved me no matter how my urine exited my body, even if it came out my nose.

OK, I’m getting off track. Oh yeah, the pain. I wanted to tell you about the pain. After my operation, it hurt so much to go pee, that I wanted to just fall asleep and wet the hospital bed. However, there are times when one has to pee so badly, one can’t even fall asleep. So when I had to pee, I just bit my tongue and fuckin’ let ‘er rip. I squealed like my penis was full of broken glass!

OK, that’s enough for my prepubescent penis story. Now I’ll share three stories about pubic hair.

First, I’ll tell you about a pubic hair story that involved a bit of pain. One time, I tried to use a rubber band as a cock ring. I doubled up the rubber band and masturbated. After I ejaculated, I tried to remove the rubber band, but it had got tangled up in my pubic hair. I frantically tried to untangle the rubber band, as I feared I was on the verge of causing damage to Mr. Friendly. Finally, I just tore the rubber band away from the base of my penis along with a considerable amount of pubic hair. Fortunately, my penis quickly stopped being purple. I sighed with relief.

Now, I’ll tell you about a time when I wanted to use my pubic hair to make art. It was 2001, and I had made many different art projects with found objects like pop cans, bottle caps, dryer lint, etc. Then one day, I decided it would be fun to make a sculpture of a creature that looked like a “missing link” between human and non-human animals. I thought it would be fun to cover the creature in something that looked like fur. Then I realized that I could harvest the fur from my own body! That way, my DNA would be in my art, in case anyone wanted to clone me one day!

I shaved all the hair off my body and stuffed it into a cracker box. Then I waited for all the hair to grow back, and I shaved my whole body again. I didn’t keep track of how long it took for all my body hair to grow back, but I think I shaved myself about every three months. I decided I would keep shaving my body until I had five years worth of hair. I shaved myself a total of three times before my cracker box was about a third full.

Then in November of 2001, when I was thirty-one and had a cracker box one-third full of my body hair, I got a public speaking engagement at an elementary school. It was the school I had attended from Grade 4 to Grade 8. My family helped me move several of my large art pieces to the school, like my stick man, pop can map of Canada, nail and string picture, periodic table, mermaid, etc. (www.johnsakars.com) It was a proud moment in my life, to be at my alma mater and have all the students marvel at my creations.

At the time, I had a fog machine hooked up to the stick man, so it looked like he was shooting smoke from his mouth. I had been calling the sculpture “Stickzilla”. Unfortunately, the fog machine set off the fire alarms and the school had to be evacuated. I was very embarrassed. However, when I got interviewed later that day by a reporter from the Niagara Falls Review, John Law, I knew he’d have an interesting story to write because of the fire alarm.

Sure enough, when I read the story the next day, on November 24th, the intro was all about Stickzilla. The first line read as follows: “As fire trucks raced towards Valley Way Public School and the hallways filled with smoke, it was obvious . . . Stickzilla had struck again.”

The story was on the front page of the paper and several friends called to congratulate me. However, the last few paragraphs of the story had troubled them. You see, I had proudly told the reporter all about my body hair project. Law wrote in the story, “He’s curious how his next piece will go over – a model of a ‘missing link’ creature made of his own body hair. Every few months, he shaves his chest and legs – minus shaving cream. Most artists suffer. Some just suffer razor burn.”

Thankfully, Law had only mentioned that I’d been shaving my legs and chest. However, I realized that talking about shaving my body probably wasn’t the best thing for me to have done. I can imagine a memo going around to all of the elementary schools in the region: “Do not invite this man to speak to your students. We do not want children touching his testicle hair, even if it is attached to a sculpture.”

I also began dating a woman shortly after this speaking engagement. She seemed quite unimpressed with my cracker box full of body hair, and so I threw the hair away. She also thought I looked more manly when I had some body hair.

It’s been over eight years since I gave up harvesting my body hair. By now, I could have collected enough hair to make a whole family of missing links. However, I think the only missing link had been in my head. The link between “cracker box full of body hair” and “bad idea” had been sorely missing. I’m glad that link is no longer missing. I’m sure there are many other links that are missing in my head, but that's a whole other story!

My last story about my pubic hair involves something I did on June 28th, 2010. I was trimming my hair and goatee with an electric hair trimmer. Then I decided I’d trim my chest hair too and finally my pubic hair. After all, trimming your pubic hair can make your penis look a little bigger.

I’ve trimmed my pubic hair several times in my life, but on this day something miraculous happened. I was trimming the hair on the underside of my penis near the base, and the trimmer bit me! The skin was loose and wrinkly in this area and it got sucked up inside the trimmer. It was only a small cut, but there was a piece of skin hanging by a thread. Now this may disturb you, but I immediately realized that I wanted to eat this shred of skin. Let me tell you why.

As I stood there looking at the piece of skin hanging from my penis, I recalled a story I had read about a man who had cut off his own penis. He and another man had then cooked the penis and eaten it together. I thought about this and realized I wasn’t turned on, however I remembered having dreams about performing fellatio on myself. I realized that I suddenly had a once in a lifetime opportunity of living my dream--or at least a scaled down version of my dream.

I wouldn’t be able to stick my whole penis into my mouth, but at least I’d be able to put a tiny piece of my penis into my mouth. So, I did. I ripped off the shred of skin, put it into my mouth and swallowed. I felt a bit naughty, but I didn’t feel like a cannibal or anything.

The penis didn’t bleed too much, but it bled enough for me to want to grab my camera. I’d never had a bloody penis before and I simply had to capture this digitally. (Perhaps my penis had been bloody during the surgery on my urethra, but I’d been unconscious at the time, so I can’t say for sure.)

After taking a few pictures, I made a mental note to write a blog about this experience. Then I stuffed all of the shaved hair into an envelope, thinking a fan of mine may want to buy the hair one day when I’m famous. (I threw away the hair a few days later, after I remembered that I no longer collect my own hair.)

A few days passed and I got busy with various projects and didn’t have time to write a blog about my penis eating incident. However, I felt like sharing my story, and so I just wrote about my experience in a Facebook status update. I’ll share the status update, and then I’ll tell you about what some people thought of this.

Facebook Status Update for July 1st, 2010: “I've had dreams of giving myself fellatio, but I'm not flexible enough in real life. However, a few days ago something incredible happened. I was trimming my pubic hair and I accidentally cut my penis. There was a little piece of skin hanging, so I ripped it off. I realized I'd probably never again have the opportunity of touching part of my penis to my mouth, so I put the penis fragment into my mouth and swallowed.”

Here are some of the comments that I received:

“Only an artist would get away with declaring that. You are deep. Lol"

“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little....”

“Your life memoirs are going to be an expose of a free thinking genius...and I'm happy to watch that happen”

“John, you are the most interesting person I know.”

As you can see, some people appreciate reading updates like that, and some people don’t. Sometimes I make myself feel uncomfortable by writing about intimate things, but I try not to let fear keep me from expressing myself. I feel that I have a unique mind, and I feel obligated to share my thoughts and feelings with others. I want to help the world evolve into a place where people are less afraid of being open and honest. I think the world is entirely too judgmental and that scares people. People don’t want to be judged as being “losers”, and as a result they become worried about their images. They want to appear successful, and so they spend money on fancy material objects, when that money should instead be spent on reducing the amount of suffering in the world.

Speaking of suffering, the biggest cause of suffering in the world today is factory farming. That’s why I’m a vegan. I’m against suffering and so I don’t consume meat, eggs, or dairy products. Unfortunately, some people are afraid of being judged as being different, and so they’ll eat animal products because their friends and family members are eating animal products.

After reading my status update about my penis, all of the members of my family were completely disgusted. They all had very strong words about what I had eaten. One family member in particular called me a cannibal.

I’ll admit that eating part of my penis was an unusual thing to do. Was it cannibalism? I guess it was. However, I’m not the only person guilty of cannibalism. I think anyone who consumes meat, eggs or dairy products is guilty of cannibalism. After all, we are all Earthlings. Just as human beings are Earthlings, so too are cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, fish, and all other sentient beings. Flesh is flesh. We may have differences, but we animals are far more similar than we are different. We all experience pain and suffering. We all have preferences. We all like to be able to move freely, and to be able to drink when we’re thirsty, and eat when we’re hungry, and be with others when we’re lonely.

I hope all humans become vegans soon. Unfortunately, many humans presently eat things that are infinitely more disgusting than what I ate. I just ate a small fragment of skin, taken from my own body. Many people presently eat very large pieces of flesh, taken from beings who were murdered. After I ate the bit of skin from my penis, I simply carried on with my day. Can a chicken carry on with her day after you eat her wings? Can a pig carry on with his day after you eat his ribs? No, they can’t. Those animals can never do anything ever again, because they are dead.

Even though I didn’t really hurt anyone when I ate the skin from my penis, I’m glad some people think I committed an act of cannibalism. I'm glad my family members got mad at me for eating flesh. It felt great for me to hear my carnist family members speaking out against the consumption of flesh. I hope these people learn to view other flesh eating as cannibalism, too. Flesh is flesh. We are all Earthlings. We are all the same.

I hope you enjoyed reading these stories about my penis and my pubic hair. If you’re against cannibalism, I hope you’re really against cannibalism. I hope you are a vegan. If you aren’t a vegan, the next time you see a steak, flex your biceps. Realize that the muscle on your plate is the same as the muscle on your arm.

Well, I think I’ve written enough about my crotch for today. Besides, it’s time for me to send a golden arch of urine cascading into the toilet, through my perfectly formed urethra.

Put On A Play! September 3, 2010

Are you tired of seeing your loved ones brainwashed by meat commercials? Do you have trouble getting people to turn off their TVs? Then I have a great idea for you: offer to entertain your friends and family members with a play!

It’s fun and easy to write a script that promotes veganism (or any other important issue). If you’re a vegan, I’m sure you’ve had many conversations with carnists. Write down some of the crazy things that carnists say, and turn those words into a play. If you think you’re too busy to write a play, just write a short play. Grab a scrap piece of paper, write down a few lines and voila: you’ve got a play! If you can find someone else to be in your play, great. If not, put on a one-person play. I’ve performed one-person plays for live audiences many times. You can change your voice to play the different characters and change your appearance with a hat, cheap wig, etc. I bought a couple of cheap wigs from a thrift store and I’ve used them in many YouTube videos.

One of the most popular characters I created is a man named Zeke. To play Zeke, I simply remove my fake front tooth, put on a wig, and speak with a bit of a southern twang. To date, Zeke is featured in fifteen of my YouTube videos. People are often surprised to discover that a redneck character like Zeke is a vegan, and that’s exactly why I made Zeke a redneck. If it’s possible for an uneducated hillbilly like Zeke to become a dedicated vegan and animal rights activist, then it’s possible for anyone to begin making more compassionate choices.

In case you have some trouble writing your own play, I will now share with you a script for a play you can perform right now. I turned the script below into a video, which you can see if you type “Zeke and Arlene Talk About Veganism” into YouTube. If you can find someone to act with you, great. However, you can easily perform both roles by yourself.

Props: Something to use as a feather boa (like a scarf), a sign that says “Two Weeks Later” (use scrap paper or cardboard), something to use as a blanket (for the second scene, which takes place in the bedroom).

ZEKE AND ARLENE TALK ABOUT VEGANISM

SCENE ONE
Arlene is sitting on the couch wearing a feather boa. Zeke walks in and looks confused.

Zeke: What the fuck? What’s that thing around yer neck?
Arlene: It’s a feather boa. I bought it at a yard sale for fifty cents. I wanted to look sexy for ya.
Zeke: Is them real feathers? Looks like chicken feathers. You look like a dead chicken.
Arlene: Fine. You don’t like it, I won’t wear it.
Zeke: Arlene, ya don’t need to dress up like a dead chicken to look sexy. Ya look sexy just the way ya is. OK?
Arlene: Thanks. Anyway, is you gonna lick my pussy, or what?
Zeke: Arlene, you know I wanna lick yer pussy. But we got to talk about the veganism first.
Arlene: What’s that?
Zeke: Veganism is when ya don’t hurt animals.
Arlene: I don’t hurt animals. I pet the cat all nice n’ shit. I'm nice to animals.
Zeke: Oh yeah? Whadja eat fer supper tonight?
Arlene: Coupla hot dogs.
Zeke: Well then, ya hurt animals today. Animals died for them hot dogs. Plus, you know what part of an animal is in hot dogs? Dicks. That’s right. There’s ten billion animals killed in America every year, fer food. And, there’s ten billion hot dogs sold in America every year. You think that’s a coincidence? Nuh uh.
Arlene: Dicks?
Zeke: Yup, dicks. Course, chicken dicks are small. Takes about five chicken dicks to make one hot dog. But cows are big. One cow dick can make five hot dogs. So, you do the math. It all works out. It works out mathematically.
Arlene: That’s gross.
Zeke: I know, Arlene. That’s why I’m gonna go git us some veggie dogs. Veggie dogs is dick free.
Arlene: Good. OK, I’m gonna be a . . . a what?
Zeke: Vegan. Vee (Holds up index and middle finger to form a V), vegan.
Arlene: A vegan. OK, I’m gonna be a vegan. Now you wanna lick my pussy?
Zeke: Arlene, I’m real sorry, but I can’t just yet.
Arlene: Why not?
Zeke: Let’s see. How can I say this without hurtin’ yer feelins. (Pause) Arlene, yer pussy juice is full of shit.
Arlene: What?! I wipe my ass just like my momma taught me: Away from ma pussy! Not twards ma pussy!
Zeke: Arlene, that’s not what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. Animals in factory farms, they’re all full of shit. They’re sleepin’ in the cages and they’re sittin’ in the cages all day, and that’s where they shit. And they’re sleepin’ in the shit and they got shit all over them. They live in shit every second of every day. They can’t escape the shit. Can’t go take a shower. And then they go to the slaughterhouse and they got their throats slit, and they’re all covered in shit. And in between the factory farm and the slaughterhouse, they don’t go to the spa. They don’t go have a bubble bath and a pedicure. They’re all covered in shit. And then they get all cut up and it all gets ground up. And then the shit goes in the hot dogs and the shit goes in the hamburgers. And it's all full of shit. And then people eat the meat and it’s all full of shit. And then the meat goes in them. And ya gotta remember, ya are whatcha eat. So, ya eat shit and then yer full of shit, and yer pussy juice, it’s full of shit too.
Arlene: (Very Upset) Aghhhhh! Aghhhhhhhh!
Zeke: Arlene, it’s OK. Everythins gonna be fine. Now that yer gonna be a vegan, it’s gonna be all right. Ya eats lots of fruits and veggies, and beans and grains—all the good, healthy stuff. It’ll clean out yer body, and ya git all the shit outta yer body, and yer gonna feel good. Yer gonna look better n’ ever.
Arlene: OK. That’s good. (Pause) How long until my pussy juice’ll be clean?
Zeke: Don’t know exactly. But I’ll tell you what. You be a vegan fer two weeks, and I’ll lick yer pussy. Deal?
Arlene: Deal.

SCENE TWO
Hold up the sign to the audience that says, “TWO WEEKS LATER”. Arlene and Zeke are in bed together, under the covers.

Arlene: (Smiles) Oh, Zeke baby. Ah sure do loooove veganism!
Zeke: (Smiles Proudly)

Nude Modeling for Life Drawing September 5, 2010

On August 12, 2010, I posed as a nude model for a life drawing session. An artist friend had seen my book John Sakars Nude (a book of nude photographs of me, taken by photographer Anne Nawrocka), and had asked me to model in her art studio. It was a great adventure. Here is my story!

I was told to bring a robe, but I don’t own a robe. So, I borrowed my sister’s pink Winnie the Pooh robe. I undressed in the bathroom, donned the robe and walked out into the studio. There were only four artists in attendance, and they were all friendly and serious about drawing. I took off the robe and felt completely comfortable.

I held several different poses for a minute each, and then worked my way up to a five-minute pose, a ten-minute pose, and then finally a few different thirty-minute poses. I was glad to discover that my meditation experience helped me to hold the 30-minute poses. During a six-month meditation course I took in 2008/2009, I learned that itches go away if you ignore them. So whenever my nose or some other part of my body began to itch as I posed, I stayed still and the itch went away. For two long poses I sat in a chair, and for another long pose I lay on the floor. All three poses began to feel uncomfortable after a while, but I respected the fact that the artists were working hard to capture me on paper, and I remained disciplined enough to fight through the discomfort and hold the poses.

It felt wonderful to have so many eyes on me, studying the curves of my body. I felt like a beautiful work of art, like a bowl of fruit or that smiling woman in the painting called Mona Lisa. We took short breaks in between each pose, during which time I put on the robe, sipped some water and looked at the artists’ drawings. Some of the drawings were realistic and some were fun caricatures.

I very much enjoyed being a nude model; I’d be open to the idea of doing this again sometime. Being a nude model definitely helped me grow as a person. In fact, I learn and grow from everything I do. I regularly step outside of my comfort zone and have reaped many rewards as a result of my adventures. I used to be afraid of public speaking, but I overcame this fear by trying stand-up comedy on amateur night when I was in my late 20s. I didn’t think that being nude in public was a fear of mine. However, I later realized after the life drawing class, that public nudity definitely had been a fear of mine.

I had always felt uncomfortable about urinating at a urinal, unless there were dividers between the urinals. I don't know why I had this fear. Maybe I was worried that a man with a huge penis would laugh at my penis. Regardless of my reasoning, I always urinated inside stalls if there were no dividers between the urinals. Sometimes, when the stalls were full and I had to urinate very badly, I would try to pee at a urinal. However, I would not be able to urinate. The urine would just not come out. So, I would just pretend to go, and give my penis a shake. Then, I would run into a stall as soon as one became available.
I always knew that I was wasting a lot more water by flushing a toilet, than by flushing a urinal. However, my fear of someone seeing my penis was greater in my mind, than my desire to save water.

Then on August 24th, less than two weeks after my nude modeling experience, my dad took me out for dinner for my birthday. We went to the buffet at the casino. At one point during dinner, I went to the bathroom. I saw that there were no dividers between the urinals, so I headed towards the stalls. Then, for some reason, I began thinking about how silly I was being. I thought to myself, “Wait a second! Aren’t I the same guy who just posed as a nude model? Why the hell am I shy about urinating at a urinal? That makes no sense at all.”

So, I walked proudly up to a urinal. I unzipped my fly and I began urinating. The urine flowed out nice and easy. I didn’t push up close to the urinal either, to try and hide my penis. I just stood there as cool and relaxed as could be, just like when I was modeling.

I went back to the table and excitedly told my dad, brother and sister about my great accomplishment. My dad proceeded to give me the same lecture he has given me many times before, about how I need to learn to keep some things private. I said to my dad, “No way. I’m proud of my accomplishment. I’m going to write a whole blog about this!”

I encourage all of you to step outside of your comfort zones and try new things. You will reap rewards that you never even expected! When I agreed to be a nude model, I knew I’d reap some rewards. However, I had no idea that water conservation would be one of the rewards! Just think of how much water I’ll save over the course of my life, through my new love affair with urinals!

In conclusion, if you’ve ever been curious about being a nude model, go for it! Just make sure you trust the people you’re with, so you don’t get drugged and gang raped or anything like that. And if you’re shy about urinating at urinals, I encourage you to get over that shyness. Have someone you trust look at your penis and tell you that you have a lovely penis. Learn to love your penis unconditionally. In fact, we should all love our entire bodies unconditionally. After all, our bodies keep us alive! Love yourself! Love life!

By the way, as far as saving water is concerned, I also like to follow the rule, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” I encourage you to follow that advice too!

2010 Farm Sanctuary Hoe Down August 5, 2010

Imagine that your siblings are locked up in cages. Now, imagine that these individuals are being killed and eaten. Can you feel yourself getting mad? Now, imagine that people around you are keeping chunks of your family members in their refrigerators. Imagine that people are cooking and eating your sisters and brothers and raving about how delicious they are. Imagine that corporations are making billions of dollars from selling chunks of flesh from your sisters and brothers. Imagine seeing images of flesh on TV, and in magazines, and on billboards, and being constantly reminded about the gruesome deaths of your loved ones.

For members of the vegan community, the above scenario is reality. Our brothers and sisters are getting raped, tortured, and murdered, every day. Some may laugh at the thought of calling a pig a brother. Some may think it’s ridiculous to call a chicken a sister. However, we vegans know that all Earthlings are members of the same family. We are all related.

It hurts a great deal to know that members of your family are suffering. It hurts to live in a place where you can’t even turn on a radio without hearing a fast food commercial and being reminded about the suffering of the ones you love.

During the twelve years I’ve been a vegan, I’ve often imagined a world where all beings are treated with love and respect. I don’t know how long it will take before veganism is the norm among humans. However, I’m very happy to say that I recently visited a place that is exactly like the future world I’ve been dreaming of.

On July 31st and August 1st, I attended Farm Sanctuary’s NY Country Hoe Down, in Watkins Glen, New York. I had the best time of my entire life.

Before I tell you about my incredible adventure, I’ll share with you some information from a Farm Sanctuary leaflet:

“Farm Sanctuary is the nation’s leading farm animal protection organization. Since incorporating in 1986, we have worked to expose and stop cruel practices of the 'food animal' industry through research and investigations, legal and legislative actions, public awareness projects, youth education, and direct rescue and refuge efforts. Our shelters in Watkins Glen, NY and Orland, CA provide lifelong care for hundreds of rescued animals, who have become ambassadors for farm animals everywhere by educating visitors about the realities of factory farming.”

When Farm Sanctuary president and co-founder Gene Baur delivered a speech to guests on Saturday morning, he said, “Farm Sanctuary is a place where vegan is normal.” I saw many audience members smile with these words. Then he said, “At Farm Sanctuary the animals are our friends, not our food.” Everyone applauded. We were home.

Besides getting to hear Gene Baur speak, we also heard presentations from other great vegan superheroes like Jeremy Rifkin, T. Colin Campbell, Melanie Joy, and Rae Sikora. I learned a lot from these intelligent people. However, I was most looking forward to meeting the non-human animals at Farm Sanctuary.

During all my years as a vegan, I hadn’t met any “food animals”. I had read about animal cruelty and I had seen videos like "Earthlings" and "Meet Your Meat", and that had been enough to inspire me to want to help those animals. However, in order to be effective activists, we need to do more than just learn about cruelty. We need to be well-rounded, happy people. We need to spend time in the company of kind, gentle, loving individuals. By visiting Farm Sanctuary, I got to meet some lovely individuals indeed. I got to meet cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, ducks, sheep, and goats.

At times I was a bit nervous around these animals. I was bitten by a dog once and I’m just a little cautious around animals in general now. However, during my entire stay at Farm Sanctuary, every single animal was completely peaceful in every way.

For the first twenty-seven years of my life, I ate animals and animal excretions. However, during my time at Farm Sanctuary, I didn’t think about how I used to harm animals. I just enjoyed myself. I petted the animals. I looked into their eyes. I felt love for them. I felt grateful that they were in a place where they could be themselves. They could interact with nature. They could interact with each other.

I saw two turkeys looking at each other and having a lengthy conversation. I saw another turkey climb onto a woman’s lap. I heard two roosters crowing, which was great because I had always thought a rooster’s crow is one of the coolest sounds in nature. I saw a piglet running around and playing just as exuberantly as any puppy ever had. I saw two baby goats playfully bumping their little horns together. I saw a cow named Larry, who had been a veal calf, lying down and eating grass while some human admirers petted him. I saw two sheep vying for the attention of my friend Catherine. Whenever she stopped petting one of the sheep, he would scratch his hoof over her thigh until she started petting him again. His tail wagged whenever she paid attention to him. I began feeling jealous that the sheep liked Catherine so much, but then a sheep nuzzled me and I felt accepted and loved.

I took many pictures of all the different animals. There's one picture in particular that is my favourite, which a friend took of me. In this photo, I am inside a barn petting a huge pig. The sun is shining through the window, giving the image an ethereal look. The pig’s eyes are closed and my hand is resting on her or his side. Someone said it looks like I’m healing the pig. However, I have to say the pig is the one healing me.

I have a history of having difficulties with living in the present moment. My mind is often in the past or in the future. However, non-human animals seem to be experts at living in the present moment. As I pet the pig, I felt like I was living in the present moment too. I was truly enjoying the company of a family member.

As I walked around Farm Sanctuary, meeting various furry and feathered brothers and sisters, I repeatedly heard people say, “I don’t understand how anyone could ever hurt these animals.” I had been thinking the same thing myself. All of the animals are beautiful, peaceful beings. Then I realized it was the peaceful, trusting nature of the animals that made them so desirable to animal agribusiness. These animals are sweet and innocent like children. It only makes sense that predators would want to exploit sweet and innocent beings who can’t fight back.

Susie Coston, Farm Sanctuary’s national shelter director, said, “When you look in the eyes of one of these animals, you can’t help but not ever want to hurt them.” Of course, I completely agree with Susie. I’m sure the people who hurt animals rarely take the time to look into the eyes of their victims. As I looked into the eyes of the animals, I didn’t want to hurt them. I just wanted to love them.

Unfortunately, animals are getting raped, tortured, and murdered by the billions, all around the world. However, this cruelty won’t go on forever. Thanks to places like Farm Sanctuary, people are getting a chance to look into the eyes of animals. Thanks to videos like "Earthlings" and "Meet Your Meat", people are getting a chance to witness the horrors of animal agribusiness. Every day around the world, more people are deciding to adopt vegan lifestyles. And as we vegans know, the vegan lifestyle is fun!

At Farm Sanctuary, all of the food was absolutely delicious. One morning for breakfast, we had scrambled tofu that was devine! Plus, the socializing was wonderful. There were vegan superheroes everywhere! It was a great pleasure to be in the company of so many like-minded individuals. However, even if you’re a carnist, I believe you would have had just as much fun as I did . . . especially if you like to dance!

On Saturday night, a dance was held in the “People Barn”. First, we did some country line dancing while a band played. I had never tried line dancing before, but I enjoyed it very much. Then the DJ began playing music from the 50s. I sat down in the corner and watched everyone dance. The line dancing had been easy, because we had received instructions on what to do. However, when the fifties music came on, I didn’t know what to do. For the first time that weekend, my happiness level dropped below 100%. I got down on myself for getting shy all of a sudden. Then my friend Dylan saw me and he invited me to come out and dance with everyone. I stood on the dance floor and saw Gene Baur dance, and I simply had to smile. He wasn’t worried about looking cool. He was just smiling wide and using his body to express his joy.

Someone once told me that if you dance with your arms over your head, you will look silly. However, as I saw Gene dancing with his arms over his head, he didn’t look silly to me. He looked like someone who was simply full of joy. The ladies around him looked like they were full of joy, too. In fact, they looked like they wanted to be the buns in a Gene sandwich. I decided I wanted to be just like Gene!

I began dancing and didn’t stop. After the DJ played songs from the 50s, he worked his way chronologically through the ages. I got looser as the night went on, and I even got into the middle of a couple of circles and danced solo! I danced until my T-shirt was soaked with sweat. My armpits stank, but I didn’t care. I was in vegan paradise!

Near the end of the night the DJ played, “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. Everyone on the dance floor formed into a huge circle and danced while holding hands. During the chorus we sang, “Don’t stop! Be vegan!” It was a magical moment I’ll never forget.

I loved moving my body, expressing my joy, and just feeling free to be myself. As we danced, I thought about the animals at Farm Sanctuary, who were also free to use their bodies to express their joy. I thought of the little piglet running around outside. I thought of the baby goats playing with each other. I thought of the sheep wagging their tails as they got petted by their human friends. We were all free to just be ourselves.

I’ve been at dances before, at weddings and in clubs. However, this dance was different. There were no corpses in the stomachs of the dancers. All of the energy in the room came from plant foods. Try as we might, we vegans have a hard time ignoring injustice in the world. When we are at functions where people are eating animals or animal excretions, we can’t just pretend that everything is OK. We can smile and do our best to have a good time, but a part of us mourns the deaths of our non-human sisters and brothers.

There’s a line is a song that goes like this: “You don’t have to take your clothes off to have a good time.” Well, I believe you don’t have to hurt others to have a good time, either. I have many friends and family members who have not yet made the decision to adopt a vegan lifestyle. However, I’ll bet every single one of those people would have a great time at Farm Sanctuary. Everyone would love vegan food if they gave it a chance. Everyone would love spending time with beautiful animals.

I felt sad to leave Farm Sanctuary. When I got back home, I wrote on Facebook about how much fun I’d had. Then I saw a picture a friend had taken during her time at Farm Sanctuary. Perhaps I was just feeling emotional, but I cried as soon as I saw the picture. I’ve never had a photo hit me so hard before. The picture was simply of a stone that had these words inscribed: IN MEMORY OF THOSE NO ONE LOVED.

I had been on a high from my visit to vegan paradise. It was a high I had never wanted to come down from. However, I needed to see that grave stone. I needed a sobering reminder that not all animals are able to be themselves. Billions of animals never get a chance to feel joy at all. They live their whole lives in fear.

I dream of a world much different from the world of today. I dream of a world like Farm Sanctuary. I dream of a kind, peaceful world. Do you believe it’s impossible to make the whole world a vegan paradise? Well, I happen to belong to a community that believes otherwise.

During his presentation, Gene Baur quoted Margaret Mead, who said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Life and Death September 8, 2010

I went for a walk today and saw a cemetery. Next to the cemetery, I saw a business that makes gravestones. I became curious about how much gravestones cost, so I Googled “gravestones”. I don’t know what the difference is between gravestones, headstones, grave markers, and monuments, but these items sell for anywhere from $50 to $2,000 or more. Then I Googled caskets and for some silly reason I became surprised when I saw that Walmart sells caskets. (I wonder if the caskets are on display at the ends of the junk food isles.) At Walmart, all of the caskets sell for under $2,000, except for a bronze casket that costs $3,199.

I’ve yet to be in the position of having to bury a loved one. I’ve had grandparents pass away, but others handled all of the funeral business. A couple of the funerals were out of town and I didn’t even show up. I’ve only actually been to the funeral of one family member: my grandmother (on my mother’s side). So, I can only guess at what I’d do if someone close to me died and I had to bury her or him. I’m pretty sure that I’d be doing whatever is best for the environment and costs the least amount of money. I sincerely doubt that I’ll be buying anyone the bronze casket from Walmart. If you have spent a considerable amount of money on burying a loved one, I don’t mean to criticize you. I’m sure you did what you felt was the right thing to do. However, I presently feel that it’s ridiculous to buy material possessions for dead people, when there so many living beings in desperate need of help.

There could be many reasons why people spend large amounts of money on material possessions for dead people. Maybe people buy expensive stones, caskets, and flower arrangements because they feel guilty that they didn’t spend more time with grandma when she was still alive. I know I felt some guilt when my grandfather died, because I hadn’t spent more time with him.

My grandfather was really just my stepfather’s stepfather (lots of divorce in my family’s history), but he was always a wonderful grandpa to me. When I was a kid and I made a guitar out of an old pizza box, he bought me a used guitar. Then when I played drums in bands, he took photos of my band in his photography studio for free. Then when I had my first art show, he came and took photos of all my art. He was always there supporting me, no matter what I did. I only wish that I had been more supportive of him.

After he passed away a few years ago, I discovered that my sister had an old VHS tape of two gigs that grandpa had performed at Firemen’s Park during the Twilight Tuesday concert series in the early 90s. I watched the video and saw that my brother, sister, mom, and grandma were in the audience. Then I heard my grandfather talk to the audience about how much he had enjoyed performing at Firemen’s Park during the past year, and the year before that, and the year before that. I thought to myself, “Where the heck was I during all these shows?” I’m guessing my mother had told me about the shows, but I had been “too busy”. I had probably been playing drums in garages with rock bands. I had probably thought I was too cool to hang around all the seniors in grandpa’s audience.

As I watched the video, I saw that there were indeed many senior citizens in the crowd. I also noticed something else as I watched the old video tape--grandpa was very entertaining. I had heard him sing Christmas songs every holiday season, but I had never seen him on stage before. I can try to describe my grandpa on stage, but I’d rather you watch the old concert footage yourself. Thanks to modern technology, grandpa is now online! I got my friend Aaron to transfer the VHS tape onto discs and then I put all the footage onto YouTube. All you have to do is go onto YouTube and type "Raoul Casimir". You can see “Raoul Casimir in Concert, Part 1”, right up to “Raoul Casimir in Concert, Part 13—The Finale”.

After grandpa died, I looked up his name online and found nothing. It felt very wrong that a performer like Raoul Casimir was not on the internet. I'm glad that he can now entertain people around the world, via YouTube. Perhaps I feel a little less guilty about not seeing him so much during his final years.

You can do all you want after a person dies. You can buy expensive gravestones, caskets, and flower arrangements (even though the money would be better spent on reducing the suffering of those who are still alive). You can put videos of the departed on YouTube, like I did. However, the fact remains that the best time to do something nice for a loved one, is while the person is still alive. I know that’s completely obvious. However, we all need to remind ourselves sometimes, that our loved ones won’t be around forever. Having said that, I’m going to take a break from writing so I can call some people and tell them that I love them. Excuse me.

OK, I’m back. I told five family members that I love them. Well, two of those family members were told through a message that I left on an answering machine, but that’s better than nothing. When I told my sister that I love her, she asked me what I wanted. I said I didn’t want anything. However, the truth is that I wanted a good feeling in my heart, and now it’s there.

Well, I’m sorry if this talk about death has upset any of you. My point with this blog is simply to inspire you to do two things. Actually, make that four things. (I just remembered two things I haven’t even mentioned yet!) OK, here are the four things: 1. Call at least one person and tell that person that you love them. 2. If someone passes away, consider donating money to a charity instead of spending money on a casket, stone, or flowers. 3. Sign your organ donor card and make sure your loved ones know that you want your organs donated so that you can “give the gift of life”. You can also request that a letter be given to anyone who receives one of your organs, encouraging that person to make the transition to a vegan diet. 4. Consider donating your body to science--under the condition that the scientific community agrees to stop experimenting on animals!

I guess if a family member leaves specific instructions on what she or he wants done with her or his body, and that person is paying for everything, then perhaps you have to abide by that individual's wishes. Or, perhaps you can ignore those wishes and do what you feel is right. I’m not a lawyer, so I don’t know what you’ll be able to get away with. I just know that the money spent on material possessions for dead people would be better spent on helping humans and non-human animals who are still alive. I also know that it's a crime to cremate or bury organs that could be used to save lives. Of course, if the organs can't be used to save lives, cremate away!

If you have a moment, perhaps you can check my grandpa out on YouTube. If you have any talented friends or family members, try to capture some moments on video. Watching my grandfather sing online makes me smile every time. However, even if you don’t have any talented loved ones, you can still capture some video. I certainly haven’t let a lack of talent keep me from plastering my own self all over the internet! My loved ones will certainly have lots of footage of me to look at if and when I die. (I say “if”, because anything is possible. I still have hope that I’ll live long enough to have my mind uploaded!)

By the way, whether or not my mind ever gets uploaded, if and when the time comes when my body is dead, after my organs get donated I too want my body donated to science--under the condition that the scientific community agrees to stop experimenting on animals. If they don’t agree with these demands, then please turn my body into burgers and hot dogs. Feed my body to some carnists and then tell them what they ate. Maybe that’ll scare ‘em off burgers and hot dogs forever! Also, I want all of my belongings donated to Niagara Action for Animals. They can sell everything at a yard sale. I don't want my family getting my stuff, because they'd probably just sell it and buy meat.

P.S. I love you all!
P.P.S. Give blood. You can begin saving lives with your body now!
P.P.P.S. Animals are currently considered property, so you should will your companion animals to someone you trust. If they are not mentioned in the will, they can just be sent to a 'shelter' and killed.

Imprisoned Activists September 10, 2010

Two days ago, I did something I’d never done before: I wrote a letter to someone in prison. Walter Edmund Bond has been charged with arson following a fire at a sheepskin factory in Denver, Colorado. I checked out the website www.arprisoners.org, and wrote down Walter’s contact information. I wasn't sure what to write, so I thought I’d just talk about myself. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to talk about myself! Here is the letter I wrote:

Dear Walter,

Someone posted a story about you on Facebook and I thought I’d write you a letter. I’m a vegan because I believe I should treat others as I’d like to be treated. If I were in prison I know I’d want people to write to me, so I'm writing to you. I’m going to paste a copy of this letter into my blog, in hopes that I can inspire others to write to incarcerated animal rights activists too.

I love the VEGAN tattoo you have on your neck. I have GO VEGAN tattooed on my left shoulder and ANIMAL LIBERATION tattooed on my right shoulder. I admire the fact that you got your tattoo in a place where it can always be seen. I also painted the words GO VEGAN on the hood of my car and I put the words ANIMAL LIBERATION on the sides of my car with vinyl letters. I love promoting veganism wherever I go. One time, after leafleting on the street, I walked back to my car and someone had placed a package of steakettes on my windshield! Well, at least I got someone to think about veganism!

I read a blog you wrote about the time when you worked in the animal agribusiness industry. I too once worked at a sad, messy job. I worked as part of a two-person night cleanup crew at a meat plant. The animals had already been turned into slabs of carcasses (like in the Rocky movies) by the time they reached our plant, and the workers just had to cut the slabs up into steaks and such. It was still smelly and dirty, though. Sadly enough, I didn’t end up becoming a vegan until seven years later. I don’t know what took me so long! I didn’t become a vegan until I was twenty-seven and I read the book Old MacDonald’s Factory Farm. I’m now forty, so I’ve been a vegan for thirteen years. I love everything about veganism!

I do a variety of different activism. I leaflet for Vegan Outreach, I’m a public speaker, I write blogs, and I create videos for YouTube. I recently put a video on YouTube that I called “Cutest Video Ever”. It’s only twelve seconds long, but it speaks volumes. I recorded the footage during my trip to Farm Sanctuary. It’s a video of my friend Catherine petting a sheep named Grace. Grace scratches Catherine’s leg to get her attention and then when Catherine starts petting Grace, Grace’s tail wags like you've never seen a tail wag before. It’s up to over 7,000 views so far. Some people have said, “Look, her tail is wagging just like a dog’s tail!” Indeed.

Take care, Walter. Many people admire your dedication. Thanks for everything you do to help animals!

Sincerely,
John Sakars

After I finished writing, I discovered that three of the six ink cartridges in my printer were out of ink. I went to the store and spent $60.07 on the ink I needed! (If the people who sell printer ink ever end up in prison for ripping people off, I’m not writing them any letters!)

I printed the letter and mailed it to the prison in Colorado where Walter is being held. Now, here I am sharing the letter with you, in hopes that you may decide to write to an incarcerated animal rights activist too.

It only took me about fifteen minutes to write the letter. Not including the robbery that took place at the ink store (the markup on ink is criminal!), it took me a minute more to mail the letter. That’s sixteen minutes in total. I spend a lot longer than that on Facebook every day!

Now, I realize that animal rights activists are busy people. In fact, there aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do everything that needs to be done. So, we have to choose our battles. Some people like to focus on leafleting. Some people like to organize events like vegan bake sales and tabling. In fact, anything you can do to promote veganism is a good thing. However, if you can find the time, I think it’s also important to acknowledge the individuals who sacrificed their freedom in order to help animals.

I personally don’t plan on doing anything illegal in order to help animals. (Of course, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to tell you if I did have plans on doing anything illegal!) However, I do understand how some activists have felt compelled to do whatever it takes in order to help animals, regardless of whether or not those actions were legal.

I don’t know if Walter actually set fire to a sheepskin factory in Denver, Colorado. However, I do know what it’s like to pet a sheep. I know what it’s like to see a sheep named Grace wag her tail just like a dog. I know how upset I would be if someone brought Grace to a sheepskin factory. Would I be upset enough to want to burn down a sheepskin factory? I don’t know.

For Walter’s sake, I hope he is found innocent. However, even if he did set fire to a sheepskin factory, I’m not about to start calling him a criminal.

Have you ever met a sheep? Do you have any idea how peaceful and loving they are? Have you ever seen sheep wag their tales just like dogs? I’ll bet if you spent time with Grace, or any other sheep, your perception of a sheepskin factory would change. I bet that sheepskin factories would become uglier and uglier in your mind, every second.

I’m not about to go set any fires. I don’t want any of my friends setting fires, either. I don’t want any vegan superheroes sent to prison. I also realize that setting fires could result in someone getting killed. At the same time, I can definitely see how an activist could feel compelled to set a fire. Having met some sheep, I can see how a sheep factory could become so ugly in your mind, you would feel an overwhelming desire to see that factory destroyed.

We live in an insane world. There are billions of animals all around the globe having horrible things done to them right now. It’s understandable that some activists are going to decide to break some laws during the vegan revolution. I stand by the activists who are leafleting, demonstrating, having vegan bake sales, etc. At the same time, I also stand by the activists who have been willing to sacrifice their freedom as they sought to help animals. I hope with every ounce of my being that no activists hurt anyone during any illegal activities. However, even if someone does accidentally hurt a human being, I’m not going to start judging that activist.

We live in a world that is entirely too judgemental. Perhaps some people think Walter was just some guy who enjoyed starting fires. Perhaps they look at Walter’s tattoos and think he’s crazy.

Perhaps those same judgemental people think sheep are stupid animals.

The Earthling National Anthem September 14, 2010

Today, I decided to write a song called, "The Earthling National Anthem". A song all Earthlings could sing together to help achieve world peace. I walked all day, searching for the right words for this song. Then, while resting under a tree, I realized that this song had already been written a long time ago. A fellow Earthling stood above me, singing The Earthling National Anthem.

I wanted to frown at the fact that someone else had already written my song. However, the song was far too beautiful to frown at. I realized I had heard this song several times before, but had never really listened this carefully. Finally, my Earthling friend carried on.

In my head I replayed the song as I walked along, until I heard The Earthling National Anthem yet again. An Earthling stood alone in a backyard singing this song. Only this version was entirely different than the first. The song was sad this time. The singer had a chain around her neck. Finally, only a block from my home, I heard The Earthling National Anthem for the third time that day. The song rang not from an Earthling before me, but from Earthlings in a video. Standing beside the audio visual equipment, other Earthlings handed out leaflets. My eyes went back to the film. This was the saddest version of The Earthling National Anthem that I could possibly imagine. Someone handed me a leaflet and I eventually walked back home.

I sat on my couch and thought of the three versions of The Earthling National Anthem I had heard that day: The happy version sung by the bird in the tree, the sad version sung by the dog chained alone in the backyard, and the very sad version sung by the “food animals” in the slaughterhouse video.

The Earthling National Anthem is sung in as many different voices as there are Earthlings. However, the lyrics are always the same: I AM ALIVE.

I hope the bird in the tree stays free. I hope the lonely dog gets attention soon. I hope the animal rights activists downtown keep on playing the slaughterhouse video and handing out leaflets about veganism to people on the street.

Actually, I can do more than just hope. I can call someone about the lonely dog. I can hand out leaflets about veganism, just like the activists I saw today. I can use my voice to help liberate all Earthlings, so that everyone can be free like the bird in the tree. I can help all Earthlings get a chance to sing happy songs.

Vegan National Anthems September 20, 2010

Earlier this year, I thought I’d write new lyrics to the national anthems of Canada and the U.S. as a way to promote veganism.

Perhaps in our distant past, people needed to kill animals in order to feed and clothe themselves. However, we no longer need to kill animals for any reason. We don’t need to eat animals, wear animals, experiment on animals, or use animals for entertainment. Rodeos, seal clubbing, trapping, and every other North American tradition that involves hurting animals, are outdated and need to be abolished.

Though we have a long history of violence, that doesn’t mean we have to continue hurting animals. As the leaders of today, we can teach people how to make compassionate choices. We can make Canada a vegan paradise. We can make the U.S. a vegan paradise.

It’s important to never forget the humans who have died in service of our countries. However, it’s just as important to never forget about all of the non-human animals who are suffering and dying right now, in service of our vanity, gluttony, and entertainment.

Adopting a vegan diet is the most important thing you can do to help yourself, animals and the environment. However, adopting a vegan lifestyle alone is not enough. We must promote veganism, too. We must all stand up and be leaders. We can’t expect politicians to lead the way to a more compassionate future. It’s our job to lead the way to vegan paradise.

You can start by singing these songs (both songs are on YouTube: www.youtube.com/JohnSakars). If you don’t like my lyrics, write your own lyrics. Exercise your freedom of speech. Or, if you think the anthems shouldn’t have been meddled with at all, that’s OK too. Just realize that cruelty to animals is not OK.

The vegan community is growing bigger and stronger every day. We’re eating our veggies, we’re energized, and we’re working tirelessly to achieve total animal liberation. Please join us!

Vegan O Canada
(Sung to the tune of O Canada)

O Canada!
Our home on planet Earth.
Good vegan food gives everybody mirth.
With organic plant-based whole foods,
We nourish our bodies.
With loving hearts and gentle hands,
We respect our fellow Earthlings.
Let’s keep our land compassionate and free.
O Canada, we vegans stand for peace.
O Canada, we vegans stand for peace.

U.S. Vegan National Anthem
(Sung to the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner)

Oh, say can you see vegan paradise:
A place where all humans respect all sentient beings,
Animals aren’t used for food, clothing, entertainment or experiments,
No Earthlings are abused or exploited in any way,
And organic plant-based whole foods are accessible to all,
So that we can be healthy and have lots of energy.
Oh, say do you want to live in vegan paradise?
Then go vegan right now and promote veganism!

Compassionate Artist September 21, 2010

Since my blog is called Compassionate Artist, I think it's about time I told you what I think a compassionate artist is!

According to www.thefreedictionary.com, compassion means “deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it”.

According to www.wordreference.com, an artist is “a person whose creative work shows sensitivity and imagination”.

I will now put these two definitions together:

Compassionate Artist: A being who is deeply aware of the suffering of others and who strives to reduce the suffering of others through creative work that shows sensitivity and imagination.

Are you a compassionate artist? I hope so. I recently saw a prime example of a compassionate artist on YouTube. The video is called “Dog Risks Life To Save Another Dog”. In this video, a dog gets hit by a truck on a busy highway in Chile. Another dog carefully crosses the highway, wraps her paws around the injured dog’s neck, and pulls her to safety.

To me, that’s a compassionate artist in action. I’m not an animal behaviourist, but the following analysis makes sense to me:

The dog was so deeply aware of another dog’s suffering, that she risked her life in order to save the dog. Even though it probably would have been quicker and easier for her to have used her teeth to drag the dog to safety, she avoided using her teeth because she was sensitive to the feelings of the other dog. So instead of using her teeth, she used her imagination to solve the problem by wrapping her paws around the injured dog’s neck and dragging her to safety. In other words, the hero dog used awareness, sensitivity and imagination to reduce the suffering of another.

Some of you may think that it’s ridiculous to call a dog a compassionate artist. (Of course, some art critics could say I’ve created far too many eyesores to be considered a compassionate artist myself!) I think we’re brainwashed by society to believe that some are artists and some aren’t artists. However, I think we are all artists. We are being creative with every word we say. We are being creative with our body language. We are being creative with every decision we make and everything we do.

Even if you are an artist in the traditional sense, sometimes you create more powerful art by putting down your paintbrush. I learned that lesson a few years ago. I put down my paint brush and picked up a stack of leaflets. I went to schools and distributed leaflets about veganism. In my opinion, I was more creative through leafleting than I had ever been through painting. By leafleting, I was creating vegans. I was also planting seeds in the minds of people who still may become vegans one day. I was being a truly compassionate artist.

Even though I know that leafleting is one of the best ways I can reduce suffering in the world, I still take time to paint and be creative in other ways. I know that being a well-rounded person is important for a healthy life. I think some other artists need to spend time becoming well-rounded, too.

Some people who define themselves as artists have displayed a dreadful lack of sensitivity towards others. In 2001, some Toronto art students videotaped themselves killing a cat and called it art. In 2007, a Costa Rican artist exhibited an emaciated dog in a gallery in Nicaragua. Just recently, a pop star wore a dress made from meat. These “artists” certainly weren’t showing any sensitivity towards others when they did these cruel things. They weren’t being compassionate artists.

In my opinion, compassionate art is the only art that matters. The wonderful thing is that the world is full of opportunities for us to be compassionate artists.

The other day, I went to the bank and saw they were selling bottled water to raise money for the flood victims in Pakistan. I immediately recognized the suffering of others (in this case the entire planet, since bottled water is so bad for the environment), and I asked to speak to a manager. I then used sensitivity and imagination. As I spoke to the manager, I applauded everything the bank does to help the environment. I applauded the fact that the bank was raising money to help people in Pakistan. Then, I told the manager about how bad bottled water is for the environment and I suggested that for future fundraisers they could sell something else. She smiled and thanked me for helping her to become aware of the problem with bottled water. The spoken word was my paintbrush and the bank manager’s mind was my canvas.

Truly, we can all be compassionate artists. Like I said earlier, some people may think that non-human animals can’t be compassionate artists. Well, what would those people say if they saw a video on YouTube of an elephant painting? I watched a video today of an elephant painting, and judging from the comments people made, they were truly shocked that an elephant had painted a picture. I, however, wasn’t shocked at all. In fact, I was saddened.

Whenever you see non-human animals acting like humans, a red flag should go up in your head. When I saw this elephant paint, I thought about bears riding bikes and donkeys jumping off diving boards. The sad fact is that humans have a long history of beating animals in order to get them to do silly tricks for money. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes with this painting elephant, but I know that non-human animals don’t have to do any stupid tricks in order to be worthy of our love and admiration. All non-human animals, from elephants in the wild caring for their young to ants aerating the soil and making life on Earth possible, are compassionate artists.

To me, all good art is rooted in compassion. All good artists are compassionate artists. Since we are all artists, reducing the suffering of others should be the number one goal of all human beings.

I hope you never find yourself in a situation like the dog on the highway, where you have to risk your life in order to save someone. However, I do hope you choose to become aware of suffering. I hope you choose to use your creativity, sensitivity, and imagination to help reduce the suffering of people, animals and the environment.

The world needs all of us to be compassionate artists. The world needs all of us to be vegan superheroes. Together, we can heal each other. We can heal the world.

Learning Through the Arts

2010-09-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

I have delivered presentations for schools and community groups throughout Niagara. Please let me know if you would like to book me for a speaking engagement. Here is an excerpt from the packages that I use to promote myself:

LEARNING THROUGH THE ARTS

The John Sakars Variety Show is a multimedia, entertainment extravaganza that makes learning exciting and fun.

Visual Art: John delivers slideshows featuring his paintings, collages, and sculptures. His art is on display in buildings throughout southern Ontario. National media outlets, such as Canadian Press and CBC Newsworld, have reported on his labour-intensive pieces. His art has also been featured on four book covers, including a publication by the World Health Organization.

Performance Art: John plays musical instruments, sings, and dances. He has performed and recorded with musical groups throughout the Niagara region for over ten years. He has also performed comedy routines at Yuk Yuks Comedy Club and The House of Comedy.

John has a diploma in journalism print and a post-diploma certificate in public relations from Niagara College. He has earned his Competent Communicator Certificate from Toastmasters International. John’s presentations touch on a wide variety of important topics:

Environmentalism: John teaches students to be environmentally responsible. He has created art from a huge variety of found objects and recycled materials to raise awareness about the need to reduce, reuse, and recycle. His slideshows include a collage that was commissioned by Niagara Recycling for the lobby of their recycling plant.

Substance Abuse: The World Health Organization used a reproduction of John’s art for the front cover of their book Global Status Report on Road Safety, which was sent to government offices in 178 countries. John created a collage about impaired driving which was used by Think and Drive Niagara and Ontario Students Against Impaired Driving (O.S.A.I.D.). He believes that by teaching students about substance abuse, we can increase the chances that those people will not develop substance abuse problems later in life.

Health: John has a performance art piece where he dances and plays drums on his body. During this piece, he sings about the need for us to love ourselves unconditionally and take care of ourselves by exercising and eating healthy foods. He is also a graduate of the Willpower Institute Meditation Instructor Program. He touches on the benefits of meditation as he shows a slide of a painting depicting people meditating.

Appreciation: A song John wrote called “Appreciate” is a crowd favourite at his presentations. This song urges people to appreciate everything. John thinks that it is important to teach students to appreciate things, so those people don’t go through life expecting others to care for their every need.

Confidence: John was afraid of public speaking right up until the age of about 27. During his presentations, he talks about how he built confidence by embracing his creative side and accomplishing goals.

Creative Problem Solving: Though not everyone wants to create art, John knows everyone needs to be able to solve problems creatively. He talks about the need to develop creative problem solving skills.

Goal Setting: Many of John’s works of art are extremely labour intensive. He talks about the need to write down goals and to work daily to achieve those goals.

Academia: John talks about geography when he shows his map of Canada made from pop cans. He talks about chemistry when he shows his periodic table of the elements made from pebbles.

Compassionate Artist

2010-09-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Since my blog is called Compassionate Artist, I think it's about time I told you what I think a compassionate artist is!

According to www.thefreedictionary.com, compassion means “deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it”.

According to www.wordreference.com, an artist is “a person whose creative work shows sensitivity and imagination”.

I will now put these two definitions together:

Compassionate Artist: A being who is deeply aware of the suffering of others and who strives to reduce the suffering of others through creative work that shows sensitivity and imagination.

Are you a compassionate artist? I hope so. I recently saw a prime example of a compassionate artist on YouTube. The video is called “Dog Risks Life To Save Another Dog”. In this video, a dog gets hit by a truck on a busy highway in Chile. Another dog carefully crosses the highway, wraps her paws around the injured dog’s neck, and pulls her to safety.

To me, that’s a compassionate artist in action. I’m not an animal behaviourist, but the following analysis makes sense to me:

The dog was so deeply aware of another dog’s suffering, that she risked her life in order to save the dog. Even though it probably would have been quicker and easier for her to have used her teeth to drag the dog to safety, she avoided using her teeth because she was sensitive to the feelings of the other dog. So instead of using her teeth, she used her imagination to solve the problem by wrapping her paws around the injured dog’s neck and dragging her to safety. In other words, the hero dog used awareness, sensitivity and imagination to reduce the suffering of another.

Some of you may think that it’s ridiculous to call a dog a compassionate artist. (Of course, some art critics could say I’ve created far too many eyesores to be considered a compassionate artist myself!) I think we’re brainwashed by society to believe that some are artists and some aren’t artists. However, I think we are all artists. We are being creative with every word we say. We are being creative with our body language. We are being creative with every decision we make and everything we do.

Even if you are an artist in the traditional sense, sometimes you create more powerful art by putting down your paintbrush. I learned that lesson a few years ago. I put down my paint brush and picked up a stack of leaflets. I went to schools and distributed leaflets about veganism. In my opinion, I was more creative through leafleting than I had ever been through painting. By leafleting, I was creating vegans. I was also planting seeds in the minds of people who still may become vegans one day. I was being a truly compassionate artist.

Even though I know that leafleting is one of the best ways I can reduce suffering in the world, I still take time to paint and be creative in other ways. I know that being a well-rounded person is important for a healthy life. I think some other artists need to spend time becoming well-rounded, too.

Some people who define themselves as artists have displayed a dreadful lack of sensitivity towards others. In 2001, some Toronto art students videotaped themselves killing a cat and called it art. In 2007, a Costa Rican artist exhibited an emaciated dog in a gallery in Nicaragua. Just recently, a pop star wore a dress made from meat. These “artists” certainly weren’t showing any sensitivity towards others when they did these cruel things. They weren’t being compassionate artists.

In my opinion, compassionate art is the only art that matters. The wonderful thing is that the world is full of opportunities for us to be compassionate artists.

The other day, I went to the bank and saw they were selling bottled water to raise money for the flood victims in Pakistan. I immediately recognized the suffering of others (in this case the entire planet, since bottled water is so bad for the environment), and I asked to speak to a manager. I then used sensitivity and imagination. As I spoke to the manager, I applauded everything the bank does to help the environment. I applauded the fact that the bank was raising money to help people in Pakistan. Then, I told the manager about how bad bottled water is for the environment and I suggested that for future fundraisers they could sell something else. She smiled and thanked me for helping her to become aware of the problem with bottled water. The spoken word was my paintbrush and the bank manager’s mind was my canvas.

Truly, we can all be compassionate artists. Like I said earlier, some people may think that non-human animals can’t be compassionate artists. Well, what would those people say if they saw a video on YouTube of an elephant painting? I watched a video today of an elephant painting, and judging from the comments people made, they were truly shocked that an elephant had painted a picture. I, however, wasn’t shocked at all. In fact, I was saddened.

Whenever you see non-human animals acting like humans, a red flag should go up in your head. When I saw this elephant paint, I thought about bears riding bikes and donkeys jumping off diving boards. The sad fact is that humans have a long history of beating animals in order to get them to do silly tricks for money. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes with this painting elephant, but I know that non-human animals don’t have to do any stupid tricks in order to be worthy of our love and admiration. All non-human animals, from elephants in the wild caring for their young to ants aerating the soil and making life on Earth possible, are compassionate artists.

To me, all good art is rooted in compassion. All good artists are compassionate artists. Since we are all artists, reducing the suffering of others should be the number one goal of all human beings.

I hope you never find yourself in a situation like the dog on the highway, where you have to risk your life in order to save someone. However, I do hope you choose to become aware of suffering. I hope you choose to use your creativity, sensitivity, and imagination to help reduce the suffering of people, animals and the environment.

The world needs all of us to be compassionate artists. The world needs all of us to be vegan superheroes. Together, we can heal each other. We can heal the world.

Vegan National Anthems

2010-09-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year, I thought I’d write new lyrics to the national anthems of Canada and the U.S as a way to promote veganism.

Perhaps in our distant past, people needed to kill animals in order to feed and clothe themselves. However, we no longer need to kill animals for any reason. We don’t need to eat animals, wear animals, experiment on animals, or use animals for entertainment. Rodeos, seal clubbing, trapping, and every other North American tradition that involves hurting animals, are outdated and need to be abolished.

Though we have a long history of violence, that doesn’t mean we have to continue hurting animals. As the leaders of today, we can teach people how to make compassionate choices. We can make Canada a vegan paradise. We can make the U.S. a vegan paradise.

It’s important to never forget the humans who have died in service of our countries. However, it’s just as important to never forget about all of the non-human animals who are suffering and dying right now, in service of our vanity, gluttony, and entertainment.

Adopting a vegan diet is the most important thing you can do to help yourself, animals and the environment. However, adopting a vegan lifestyle alone is not enough. We must also promote veganism, too. We must all stand up and be leaders. We can’t expect politicians to lead the way to a more compassionate future. It’s our job to lead the way to vegan paradise.

You can start by singing these songs. (Both songs are on YouTube: www.youtube.com/JohnSakars. Both songs are also in the two blog posts right after this one.) If you don’t like my lyrics, write your own lyrics. Exercise your freedom of speech. Or, if you think the anthems shouldn’t have been meddled with at all, that’s OK too. Just realize that cruelty to animals is no longer OK.

The vegan community is growing bigger and stronger every day. We’re eating our veggies, we’re energized, and we’re working tirelessly to achieve total animal liberation. Please join us!

Vegan O Canada
(Sung to the tune of O Canada)

O Canada!
Our home on planet Earth!
Good vegan food gives everybody mirth.
With organic plant-based whole foods,
We nourish our bodies.
With loving hearts and gentle hands,
We respect our fellow Earthlings.
Let’s keep our land compassionate and free.
O Canada, we vegans stand for peace.
O Canada, we vegans stand for peace.

U.S. Vegan National Anthem
(Sung to the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner)

Oh, say can you see vegan paradise:
A place where all humans respect all sentient beings
Animals aren’t used for food, clothing, entertainment or experiments
No Earthlings are abused or exploited in any way
And organic plant-based whole foods are accessible to all
So that we can be healthy and have lots of energy
Oh, say do you want to live in vegan paradise?
Then go vegan right now and promote veganism!

Vegan O Canada

2010-09-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

U.S. Vegan National Anthem

2010-09-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

The Earthling National Anthem

2010-09-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

Today, I decided to write a song called, The Earthling National Anthem. A song all Earthlings could sing together to help achieve world peace. I walked all day, searching for the right words for this song. Then, while resting under a tree, I realized that this song had already been written a long time ago. A fellow Earthling stood above me, singing The Earthling National Anthem.

I wanted to frown at the fact that someone else had already written my song. However, the song was far too beautiful to frown at. I realized I had heard this song several times before, but had never really listened this carefully. Finally, my Earthling friend carried on.

In my head I replayed the song as I walked along, until I heard The Earthling National Anthem yet again. An Earthling stood alone in a backyard singing this song. Only this version was entirely different than the first. The song was sad this time. The singer had a chain around her neck.

Finally, only a block from my home, I heard The Earthling National Anthem for the third time that day. The song rang not from an Earthling before me, but from Earthlings in a video. Standing beside the audio visual equipment, other Earthlings handed out leaflets. My eyes went back to the film. This was the saddest version of The Earthling National Anthem that I could possibly imagine. Someone handed me a leaflet and I eventually walked back home.

I sat on my couch and thought of the three versions of The Earthling National Anthem I had heard that day: The happy version sung by the bird in the tree, the sad version sung by the dog chained alone in the backyard, and the very sad version sung by the “food animals” in the slaughterhouse video.

The Earthling National Anthem is sung in as many different voices as there are Earthlings. However, the lyrics are always the same: I AM ALIVE.

I hope the bird in the tree stays free. I hope the lonely dog gets attention soon. I hope the animal rights activists downtown keep on playing the slaughterhouse video and handing out leaflets about veganism to people on the street.

Actually, I can do more than just hope. I can call someone about the lonely dog. I can hand out leaflets about veganism, just like the activists I saw today. I can use my voice to help liberate all Earthlings, so that everyone can be free like the bird in the tree. I can help all Earthlings get a chance to sing happy songs.

Imprisoned Activists

2010-09-09T21:16:00.001-07:00

Two days ago, I did something I’d never done before: I wrote a letter to someone in prison. Walter Edmund Bond has been charged with arson following a fire at a sheepskin factory in Denver, Colorado. I checked out the website www.arprisoners.org, and wrote down Walter’s contact information. I wasn’t sure what to write, so I thought I’d just talk about myself. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to talk about myself! Here is the letter I wrote:

Dear Walter,

Someone posted a story about you on Facebook and I thought I’d write you a letter. I’m a vegan because I believe I should treat others as I’d like to be treated. If I were in prison I know I’d want people to write to me, so I’m writing to you. I’m going to paste a copy of this letter into my blog, in hopes that I can inspire others to write to incarcerated animal rights activists too.

I love the VEGAN tattoo you have on your neck. I have GO VEGAN tattooed on my left shoulder and ANIMAL LIBERATION tattooed on my right shoulder. I admire the fact that you got your tattoo in a place where it can always be seen. I also painted the words GO VEGAN on the hood on my car and I put the words ANIMAL LIBERATION on the sides of my car with vinyl letters. I love promoting veganism wherever I go. One time, after leafleting on the street, I walked back to my car and someone had placed a package of steakettes on my windshield! Well, at least I got someone to think about veganism!

I read a blog you wrote about the time when you worked in the animal agribusiness industry. I too once worked at a sad, messy job. I worked as part of a two-person night cleanup crew at a meat plant. The animals had already been turned into slabs of carcasses (like in the Rocky movies) by the time they reached our plant, and the workers just had to cut the slabs up into steaks and such. It was still smelly and dirty, though. Sadly enough, I didn’t end up becoming a vegan until seven years later. I don’t know what took me so long! I didn’t become a vegan until I was twenty-seven and I read the book Old MacDonald’s Factory Farm. I’m now forty, so I’ve been a vegan for thirteen years. I love everything about veganism!

I do a variety of different activism. I leaflet for Vegan Outreach, I’m a public speaker, I write blogs, and I create videos for YouTube. I recently put a video on YouTube that I called “Cutest Video Ever”. It’s only twelve seconds long, but it speaks volumes. I recorded the footage during my trip to Farm Sanctuary. It’s a video of my friend Catherine petting a sheep named Grace. Grace scratches Catherine’s leg to get her attention and then when Catherine starts petting Grace, Grace’s tail wags like you’ve never seen a tail wag before. It’s up to over 7,000 views so far. Some people have said, “Look, her tail is wagging just like a dog’s tail!” Indeed.

Take care, Walter. Many people admire your dedication. Thanks for everything you do to help animals!

Sincerely,

John Sakars

After I finished writing, I discovered that three of the six ink cartridges in my printer were out of ink. I went to the store and spent $60.07 on the ink I needed! (If the people who sell printer ink ever end up in prison for ripping people off, I’m not writing them any letters!)

I printed the letter and mailed it to the prison in Colorado where Walter is being held. Now, here I am sharing the letter with you, in hopes that you may decide to write to an incarcerated animal rights activist too.

It only took me about fifteen minutes to write the letter. Not including the robbery that took place at the ink store (the markup on ink is criminal!), it took me a minute more to mail the letter. That’s sixteen minutes in total. I spend a lot longer than that on Facebook every day!

Now, I realize that animal rights activists are busy people. In fact, there aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do everything that needs to be done. So, we have to choose our battles. Some people like to focus on leafleting. Some people like to organize events like vegan bake sales and tabling. In fact, anything you can do to promote veganism is a good thing. However, if you can find the time, I think it’s also important to acknowledge the individuals who sacrificed their freedom in order to help animals.

I personally don’t plan on doing anything illegal in order to help animals. (Of course, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to tell you if I did have plans on doing anything illegal!) However, I do understand how some activists have felt compelled to do whatever it takes in order to help animals, regardless of whether or not those actions were legal.

I don’t know if Walter actually set fire to a sheepskin factory in Denver, Colorado. However, I do know what it’s like to pet a sheep. I know what it’s like to see a sheep named Grace wag her tail just like a dog. I know how upset I would be if someone brought Grace to a sheepskin factory. Would I be upset enough to want to burn down a sheepskin factory? I don’t know.

For Walter’s sake, I hope he is found innocent. However, even if he did set fire to a sheepskin factory, I’m not about to start calling him a criminal.

Have you ever met a sheep? Do you have any idea how peaceful and loving they are? Have you ever seen sheep wag their tales just like dogs? I’ll bet if you spent time with Grace, or any other sheep, your perception of a sheepskin factory would change. I bet that sheepskin factories would become uglier and uglier in your mind, every second.

I’m not about to go set any fires. I don’t want any of my friends setting fires, either. I don’t want any vegan superheroes sent to prison. I also realize that setting fires could result in someone getting killed. At the same time, I can definitely see how an activist could feel compelled to set a fire. Having met some sheep, I can see how a sheep factory could become so ugly in your mind, you would feel an overwhelming desire to see that factory destroyed.

We live in an insane world. There are billions of animals all around the globe having horrible things done to them right now. It’s understandable that some activists are going to decide to break some laws during the vegan revolution. I stand by the activists who are leafleting, demonstrating, having vegan bake sales, etc. At the same time, I also stand by the activists who have been willing to sacrifice their freedom as they sought to help animals. I hope with every ounce of my being that no activists hurt anyone during any illegal activities. However, even if someone does accidentally hurt a human being, I’m not going to start judging that activist.

We live in a world that is entirely too judgemental. Perhaps some people think Walter was just some guy who enjoyed starting fires. Perhaps they look at Walter’s tattoos and think he’s crazy.

Perhaps those same judgemental people think sheep are stupid animals.

Life and Death

2010-09-07T21:46:00.001-07:00

I went for a walk today and saw a cemetery. Next to the cemetery, I saw a business that makes gravestones. I became curious of how much gravestones cost, so I Googled “gravestones”. I don’t know what the difference is between gravestones, headstones, grave markers, and monuments, but these items sell for anywhere from $50 to $2,000 or more. Then I Googled caskets and for some silly reason I became surprised when I saw that Walmart sells caskets. (I wonder if the caskets are on display at the ends of the junk food isles.) At Walmart, all of the caskets sell for under $2,000, except for a bronze casket that costs $3,199.

I’ve yet to be in the position of having to bury a loved one. I’ve had grandparents pass away, but others handled all of the funeral business. A couple of the funerals were out of town and I didn’t even show up. I’ve only actually been to the funeral of one family member: my grandmother (on my mother’s side). So, I can only guess at what I’d do if someone close to me died and I had to bury her or him. I’m pretty sure that I’d be doing whatever is best for the environment and costs the least amount of money. I sincerely doubt that I’ll be buying anyone the bronze casket from Walmart. If you have spent a considerable amount of money on burying a loved one, I don’t mean to criticize you. I’m sure you did what you felt was the right thing to do. However, I presently feel that it’s ridiculous to buy material possessions for dead people, when there so many living beings in desperate need of help.

There could be many reasons why people spend large amounts of money on material possessions for dead people. Maybe people buy expensive stones, caskets, and flower arrangements because they feel guilty that they didn’t spend more time with grandma when she was still alive. I know I felt some guilt when my grandfather died, because I hadn’t spent more time with him.

My grandfather was really just my stepfather’s stepfather (lots of divorce in my family’s history), but he was always a wonderful grandpa to me. When I was a kid and I made a guitar out of an old pizza box, he bought me a used guitar. Then when I played drums in bands, he took photos of my band in his photography studio for free. Then when I had my first art show, he came and took photos of all my art. He was always there supporting me, no matter what I did. I only wish that I had been more supportive of him.

After he passed away a few years ago, I discovered that my sister had an old VHS tape of two gigs that grandpa had performed at Firemen’s Park during the Twilight Tuesday concert series in the early 90s. I watched the video and saw that my brother, sister, mom, and grandma were in the audience. Then I heard my grandfather talk to the audience about how much he had enjoyed performing at Firemen’s Park during the past year, and the year before that, and the year before that. I thought to myself, “Where the heck was I during all these shows?” I’m guessing my mother had told me about the shows, but I had been “too busy”. I had probably been playing drums in garages with rock bands. I had probably thought I was too cool to hang around all the seniors in grandpa’s audience.

As I watched the video, I saw that there were indeed many senior citizens in the crowd. I also noticed something else as I watched the old video tape--grandpa was very entertaining. I had heard him sing Christmas songs every holiday season, but I had never seen him on stage before. I can try to describe my grandpa on stage, but I’d rather you watch the old concert footage yourself. Thanks to modern technology, grandpa is now online! I got my friend Aaron to transfer the VHS tape onto discs and then I put all the footage onto YouTube. All you have to do is go onto YouTube and type Raoul Casimir. You can see “Raoul Casimir in Concert, Part 1”, right up to “Raoul Casimir in Concert, Part 13—The Finale”.

After grandpa died, I looked up his name online and found nothing. It felt very wrong that a performer like Raoul Casimir was not on the internet. I'm glad that he can now entertain people around the world, via YouTube. Perhaps I feel a little less guilty about not seeing him so much during his final years.

You can do all you want after a person dies. You can buy expensive gravestones, caskets, and flower arrangements (even though the money would be better spent on reducing the suffering of those who are still alive). You can put videos of the departed on YouTube, like I did. However, the fact remains that the best time to do something nice for a loved one, is while the person is still alive. I know that’s completely obvious. However, we all need to remind ourselves sometimes, that our loved ones won’t be around forever. Having said that, I’m going to take a break from writing so I can call some people and tell them that I love them. Excuse me.

OK, I’m back. I told five family members that I love them. Well, two of those family members were told through a message that I left on an answering machine, but that’s better than nothing. When I told my sister that I love her, she asked me what I wanted. I said I didn’t want anything. However, the truth is that I wanted a good feeling in my heart, and now it’s there.

Well, I’m sorry if this talk about death has upset any of you. My point with this blog is simply to inspire you to do two things. Actually, make that four things. (I just remembered two things I haven’t even mentioned yet!) OK, here are the four things: 1. Call at least one person and tell that person that you love them. 2. If someone passes away, consider donating money to a charity instead of spending money on a casket, stone, or flowers. 3. Sign your organ donor card and make sure your loved ones know that you want your organs donated so that you can “give the gift of life”. You can also request that a letter be given to anyone who receives one of your organs, encouraging that person to make the transition to a vegan diet. 4. Consider donating your body to science--under the condition that the scientific community agrees to stop experimenting on animals!

I guess if a family member leaves specific instructions on what she or he wants done with her or his body, and that person is paying for everything, then perhaps you have to abide by that individual's wishes. Or, perhaps you can ignore those wishes and do what you feel is right. I’m not a lawyer, so I don’t know what you’ll be able to get away with. I just know that the money spent on material possessions for dead people would be better spent on helping humans and non-human animals who are still alive. I also know that it's a crime to cremate or bury organs that could be used to save lives. Of course, if the organs can't be used to save lives, cremate away!

If you have a moment, perhaps you can check my grandpa out on YouTube. If you have any talented friends or family members, try to capture some moments on video. Watching my grandfather sing online makes me smile every time. However, even if you don’t have any talented loved ones, you can still capture some video. I certainly haven’t let a lack of talent keep me from plastering my own self all over the internet! My loved ones will certainly have lots of footage of me to look at if and when I die. (I say “if”, because anything is possible. I still have hope that I’ll live long enough to have my mind uploaded!)

By the way, whether or not my mind ever gets uploaded, if and when the time comes when my body is dead, after my organs get donated I too want my body donated to science--under the condition that the scientific community agrees to stop experimenting on animals. If they don’t agree with these demands, then please turn my body into burgers and hot dogs. Feed my body to some carnists and then tell them what they ate. Maybe that’ll scare ‘em off burgers and hot dogs forever! Also, I want all of my belongings donated to Niagara Action for Animals. They can sell everything at a yard sale. I don't want my family getting my stuff, because they'd probably just sell it and buy meat.

P.S. I love you all!
P.P.S. Give blood! You can begin saving lives with your body now!
P.P.P.S. Animals are currently considered property, so you should will your companion animals to someone you trust. If they are not mentioned in the will, they can just be sent to a 'shelter' and killed.

Nude Modeling for a Life Drawing Class

2010-09-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

On August 12, 2010, I posed as a nude model for a life drawing session. An artist friend had seen my book John Sakars Nude (a book of nude photographs of me, taken by photographer Anne Nawrocka), and had asked me to model in her art studio. It was a great adventure. Here is my story!

I was told to bring a robe, but I don’t own a robe. So, I borrowed my sister’s pink Winnie the Pooh robe. I undressed in the bathroom, donned the robe and walked out into the studio. There were only four artists in attendance, and they were all friendly and serious about drawing. I took off the robe and felt completely comfortable.

I held several different poses for a minute each, and then worked my way up to a five-minute pose, a ten-minute pose, and then finally a few different thirty-minute poses. I was glad to discover that my meditation experience helped me to hold the 30-minute poses. During a six-month meditation course I took in 2008/2009, I learned that itches go away if you ignore them. So whenever my nose or some other part of my body began to itch as I posed, I stayed still and the itch went away. For two long poses I sat in a chair, and for another long pose I lied on the floor. All three poses began to feel uncomfortable after a while, but I respected the fact that the artists were working hard to capture me on paper, and I remained disciplined enough to fight through the discomfort and hold the poses.

It felt wonderful to have so many eyes on me, studying the curves of my body. I felt like a beautiful work of art, like a bowl of fruit or that smiling woman in the painting called Mona Lisa. We took short breaks in between each pose, during which time I put on the robe, sipped some water and looked at the artists’ drawings. Some of the drawings were realistic and some were fun caricatures.

I very much enjoyed being a nude model; I’d be open to the idea of doing this again sometime. Being a nude model definitely helped me grow as a person. In fact, I learn and grow from everything I do. I regularly step outside of my comfort zone and have reaped many rewards as a result of my adventures. I used to be afraid of public speaking, but I overcame this fear by trying stand-up comedy on amateur night when I was in my late 20s. I didn’t think that being nude in public was a fear of mine. However, I later realized after the life drawing class, that public nudity definitely had been a fear of mine.

I had always felt uncomfortable about urinating at a urinal, unless there are dividers between the urinals. I don’t know why I had this fear. Maybe I was worried that a man with a huge penis would laugh at my penis. Regardless of my reasoning, I always urinated inside stalls if there were no dividers between the urinals.

Sometimes, when the stalls were full and I had to urinate very badly, I would try to pee at a urinal. However, I would not be able to urinate. The urine would just not come out. So, I would just pretend to go, and give my penis a shake. Then, I would run into a stall as soon as one became available.

I always knew that I was wasting a lot more water by flushing a toilet, than by flushing a urinal. However, my fear of someone seeing my penis was greater in my mind, than my desire to save water.

Then on August 24th, less than two weeks after my nude modeling experience, my dad took me out for dinner for my birthday. We went to the buffet at the casino. At one point during dinner, I went to the bathroom. I saw that there were no dividers between the urinals, so I headed towards the stalls. Then, for some reason, I began thinking about how silly I was being. I thought to myself, “Wait a second! Aren’t I the same guy who just posed as a nude model? Why the hell am I shy about urinating at a urinal? That makes no sense at all.”

So, I walked proudly up to a urinal. I unzipped my fly and I began urinating. The urine flowed out nice and easy. I didn’t push up close to the urinal either, to try and hide my penis. I just stood there as cool and relaxed as could be, just like when I was modeling.

I went back to the table and excitedly told my dad, brother and sister about my great accomplishment. My dad proceeded to give me the same lecture he has given me many times before, about how I need to learn to keep some things private. I said to my dad, “No way. I’m proud of my accomplishment. I’m going to write a whole blog about this!”

I encourage all of you to step outside of your comfort zones and try new things. You will reap rewards that you never even expected! When I agreed to be a nude model, I knew I’d reap some rewards. However, I had no idea that water conservation would be one of the rewards! Just think of how much water I’ll save over the course of my life, through my new love affair with urinals!

In conclusion, if you’ve ever been curious about being a nude model, go for it! Just make sure you trust the people you’re with, so you don’t get drugged and gang raped or anything like that. And if you’re shy about urinating at urinals, I encourage you to get over that shyness. Have someone you trust look at your penis and tell you that you have a lovely penis. Learn to love your penis unconditionally. In fact, we should all love our entire bodies unconditionally. After all, our bodies keep us alive! Love yourself! Love life!

By the way, as far as saving water is concerned, I also like to follow the rule, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” I encourage you to follow that advice too!

Put On A Play

2010-09-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

Are you tired of seeing your loved ones brainwashed by meat commercials? Do you have trouble getting people to turn off their TVs? Then I have a great idea for you: offer to entertain your friends and family members with a play!

It’s fun and easy to write a script that promotes veganism (or any other important issue). If you’re a vegan, I’m sure you’ve had many conversations with carnists. Write down some of the crazy things that carnists say, and turn those words into a play. If you think you’re too busy to write a play, just write a short play. Grab a scrap piece of paper, write down a few lines, and voila: you’ve got a play! If you can find someone else to be in your play, great. If not, put on a one-person play.

I’ve performed one-person plays for live audiences many times. You can change your voice to play the different characters and change your appearance with a hat, cheap wig, etc. I bought a couple of cheap wigs from a thrift store and I’ve used them in many YouTube videos.

One of the most popular characters I created is a man named Zeke. To play Zeke, I simply remove my fake front tooth, put on a wig, and speak with a bit of a southern twang. To date, Zeke is featured in fifteen of my YouTube videos. People are often surprised to discover that a redneck character like Zeke is a vegan, and that’s exactly why I made Zeke a redneck. If it’s possible for an uneducated hillbilly like Zeke to become a dedicated vegan and animal rights activist, then it’s possible for anyone to begin making more compassionate choices.

In case you have some trouble writing your own play, I will now share with you a script for a play you can perform right now. I turned the script below into a video, which you can see in the post right after this blog. You can also find the video if you type “Zeke and Arlene Talk About Veganism” into YouTube.

If you can find someone to act with you, great. However, you can easily perform both roles by yourself.

Props: Something to use as a feather boa (like a scarf), a sign that says “Two Weeks Later” (use scrap paper or cardboard), something to use as a blanket (for the second scene, which takes place in the bedroom).

ZEKE AND ARLENE TALK ABOUT VEGANISM

SCENE ONE
Arlene is sitting on the couch wearing a feather boa. Zeke walks in and looks confused.

Zeke: What the fuck? What’s that thing around yer neck?

Arlene: It’s a feather boa. I bought it at a yard sale for fifty cents. I wanted to look sexy for ya.

Zeke: Is them real feathers? Looks like chicken feathers. You look like a dead chicken.

Arlene: Fine. You don’t like it, I won’t wear it.

Zeke: Arlene, ya don’t need to dress up like a dead chicken to look sexy. Ya look sexy just the way ya is. OK?

Arlene: Thanks. Anyway, is you gonna lick my pussy, or what?

Zeke: Arlene, you know I wanna lick yer pussy. But we got to talk about the veganism first.

Arlene: What’s that?

Zeke: Veganism is when ya don’t hurt animals.

Arlene: I don’t hurt animals. I pet the cat all nice n’ shit. I’m nice to animals.

Zeke: Oh yeah? Whadja eat fer supper tonight?

Arlene: Coupla hot dogs.

Zeke: Well then, ya hurt animals today. Animals died for them hot dogs. Plus, you know what part of an animal is in hot dogs? Dicks. That’s right. There’s ten billion animals killed in America every year, fer food. And, there’s ten billion hot dogs sold in America every year. You think that’s a coincidence? Nuh uh.

Arlene: Dicks?

Zeke: Yup, dicks. Course, chicken dicks are small. Takes about five chicken dicks to make one hot dog. But cows are big. One cow dick can make five hot dogs. So, you do the math. It all works out. It works out mathematically.

Arlene: That’s gross.

Zeke: I know, Arlene. That’s why I’m gonna go git us some veggie dogs. Veggie dogs is dick free.

Arlene: Good. OK, I’m gonna be a . . . a what?

Zeke: Vegan. Vee (Holds up index and middle finger to form a V), vegan.

Arlene: A vegan. OK, I’m gonna be a vegan. Now you wanna lick my pussy?

Zeke: Arlene, I’m real sorry, but I can’t just yet.

Arlene: Why not?

Zeke: Let’s see. How can I say this without hurtin’ yer feelins. (Pause) Arlene, yer pussy juice is full of shit.

Arlene: What?! I wipe my ass just like my momma taught me: Away from ma pussy! Not twards ma pussy!

Zeke: Arlene, that’s not what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. Animals in factory farms, they’re all full of shit. They’re sleepin’ in the cages and they’re sittin’ in the cages all day, and that’s where they shit. And they’re sleepin’ in the shit and they got shit all over them. They live in shit every second of every day. They can’t escape the shit. Can’t go take a shower. And then they go to the slaughterhouse and they got their throats slit, and they’re all covered in shit. And in between the factory farm and the slaughterhouse, they don’t go to the spa. They don’t go have a bubble bath and a pedicure. They’re all covered in shit. And then they get all cut up and it all gets ground up. And then the shit goes in the hot dogs and the shit goes in the hamburgers. And it’s all full of shit. And then people eat the meat and it’s all full of shit. And then the meat goes in them. And ya gotta remember, ya are whatcha eat. So, ya eat shit and then yer full of shit, and yer pussy juice, it’s full of shit too.

Arlene: (Very Upset) Aghhhhh! Aghhhhhhhh!

Zeke: Arlene, it’s OK. Everythins gonna be fine. Now that your gonna be a vegan, it’s gonna be all right. Ya eats lots of fruits and veggies, and beans and grains—all the good, healthy stuff. It’ll clean out yer body, and ya git all the shit outta yer body, and yer gonna feel good. Yer gonna look better n’ ever.

Arlene: OK. That’s good. (Pause) How long until my pussy juice’ll be clean?

Zeke: Don’t know exactly. But I’ll tell you what. You be a vegan fer two weeks, and I’ll lick yer pussy. Deal?

Arlene: Deal.

SCENE TWO
Hold up the sign to the audience that says, “TWO WEEKS LATER”. Arlene and Zeke are in bed together, under the covers.

Arlene: (Smiles) Oh, Zeke baby. Ah sure do loooove veganism!

Zeke: (Smiles Proudly)

Zeke and Arlene Talk About Veganism

2010-08-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

Vegan Straight Edge

2010-08-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

Zeke and Mountain Weed Talk About Veganism

2010-08-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Zeke and Mountain Weed Talk About Veganism Part 2

2010-08-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

Zeke and Mountain Weed Talk About Veganism Part 3

2010-08-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

Farm Sanctuary Hoe Down, 2010

2010-08-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

Imagine that your siblings are locked up in cages. Now, imagine that these individuals are getting killed and eaten. Can you feel yourself getting mad? Now, imagine that people around you are keeping chunks of your family members in their refrigerators. Imagine that people are cooking and eating your sisters and brothers and raving about how delicious they are. Imagine that corporations are making billions of dollars from selling chunks of flesh from your sisters and brothers. Imagine seeing images of flesh on TV, and in magazines, and on billboards, and being constantly reminded about the gruesome deaths of your loved ones.

For members of the vegan community, the above scenario is reality. Our brothers and sisters are getting raped, tortured, and murdered, every day. Some may laugh at the thought of calling a pig a brother. Some may think it’s ridiculous to call a chicken a sister. However, we vegans know that all Earthlings are members of the same family. We are all related.

It hurts a great deal to know that members of your family are suffering. It hurts to live in a place where you can’t even turn on a radio without hearing a fast food commercial and being reminded about the suffering of the ones you love.

During the twelve years I’ve been a vegan, I’ve often imagined a world where all beings are treated with love and respect. I don’t know how long it will take before veganism is the norm among humans. However, I’m very happy to say that I recently visited a place that is exactly like the future world I’ve been dreaming of.

On July 31st and August 1st, I attended Farm Sanctuary’s NY Country Hoe Down, in Watkins Glen, New York. I had the best time of my entire life.

Before I tell you about my incredible adventure, I’ll share with you some information from a Farm Sanctuary leaflet:

“Farm Sanctuary is the nation’s leading farm animal protection organization. Since incorporating in 1986, we have worked to expose and stop cruel practices of the “food animal” industry through research and investigations, legal and legislative actions, public awareness projects, youth education, and direct rescue and refuge efforts. Our shelters in Watkins Glen, NY and Orland, CA provide lifelong care for hundreds of rescued animals, who have become ambassadors for farm animals everywhere by educating visitors about the realities of factory farming.”

When Farm Sanctuary president and co-founder Gene Baur delivered a speech to guests on Saturday morning, he said, “Farm Sanctuary is a place where vegan is normal.” I saw many audience members smile with these words. Then he said, “At Farm Sanctuary the animals are our friends, not our food.” Everyone applauded. We were home.

Besides getting to hear Gene Baur speak, we also heard presentations from other great vegan superheroes like Jeremy Rifkin, T. Colin Campbell, Melanie Joy, and Rae Sikora. I learned a lot from these intelligent people. However, I was most looking forward to meeting the non-human animals at Farm Sanctuary.

During all my years as a vegan, I hadn’t met any “food animals”. I had read about animal cruelty and I had seen videos like Earthlings and Meet Your Meat, and that had been enough to inspire me to want to help those animals.

However, in order to be effective activists, we need to do more than just learn about cruelty. We need to be well-rounded, happy people. We need to spend time in the company of kind, gentle, loving individuals. By visiting Farm Sanctuary, I got to meet some lovely individuals indeed. I got to meet cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, ducks, sheep, and goats.

At times I was a bit nervous around these animals. I got bit by a dog once and I’m just a little cautious around animals in general now. However, during my entire stay at Farm Sanctuary, every single animal was completely peaceful in every way.

For the first twenty-seven years of my life, I ate animals and animal excretions. However, during my time at Farm Sanctuary, I didn’t think about how I had used to harm animals. I just enjoyed myself. I petted the animals. I looked into their eyes. I felt love for them. I felt grateful that they were in a place where they could be themselves. They could interact with nature. They could interact with each other.

I saw two turkeys looking at each other and having a lengthy conversation. I saw another turkey climb onto a woman’s lap. I heard two roosters crowing, which was great because I had always thought a rooster’s crow is one of the coolest sounds in nature. I saw a piglet running around and playing just as exuberantly as any puppy ever had. I saw two baby goats playfully bumping their little horns together. I saw a cow named Larry, who had been a veal calf, lying down and eating grass while some human admirers petted him. I saw two sheep vying for the attention of my friend Catherine. Whenever she stopped petting one of the sheep, he would scratch his hoof over her thigh until she started petting him again. His tail wagged whenever she paid attention to him. I began feeling jealous that the sheep liked Catherine so much, but then a sheep nuzzled me and I felt accepted and loved.

I took many pictures of all the different animals. There’s one picture in particular that is my favourite, which a friend took of me. In this photo, I am inside a barn petting a huge pig. The sun is shining through the window, giving the image an ethereal look. The pig’s eyes are closed and my hand is resting on her or his side. Someone said it looks like I’m healing the pig. However, I have to say the pig is the one healing me.

I have a history of having difficulties with living in the present moment. My mind is often in the past or in the future. However, non-human animals seem to be experts at living in the present moment. As I pet the pig, I felt like I was living in the present moment too. I was truly enjoying the company of a family member.

As I walked around Farm Sanctuary, meeting various furry and feathered brothers and sisters, I repeatedly heard people say, “I don’t understand how anyone could ever hurt these animals.” I had been thinking the same thing myself. All of the animals were beautiful, peaceful beings. Then I realized it was the peaceful, trusting nature of the animals that made them so desirable to animal agribusiness. These animals are sweet and innocent like children. It only makes sense that predators would want to exploit sweet and innocent beings who can’t fight back.

Susie Coston, Farm Sanctuary’s national shelter director, said, “When you look in the eyes of one of these animals, you can’t help but not ever want to hurt them.” Of course, I completely agree with Susie. I’m sure the people who hurt animals rarely take the time to look into the eyes of their victims. As I looked into the eyes of the animals, I didn’t want to hurt them. I just wanted to love them.

Unfortunately, animals are getting raped, tortured, and murdered by the billions, all around the world. However, this cruelty won’t go on forever. Thanks to places like Farm Sanctuary, people are getting a chance to look into the eyes of animals. Thanks to videos like Earthlings and Meet Your Meat, people are getting a chance to witness the horrors of animal agribusiness. Every day around the world, more people are deciding to adopt vegan lifestyles. And as we vegans know, the vegan lifestyle is fun!

At Farm Sanctuary, all of the food was absolutely delicious. One morning for breakfast, we had scrambled tofu that was devine! Plus, the socializing was wonderful. There were vegan superheroes everywhere! It was a great pleasure to be in the company of so many like-minded individuals. However, even if you’re a carnist, I believe you would have had just as much fun as I did . . . especially if you like to dance!

On Saturday night, a dance was held in the “People Barn”. First, we did some country line dancing while a band played. I had never tried line dancing before, but I enjoyed it very much. Then the DJ began playing music from the 50s. I sat down in the corner and watched everyone dance. The line dancing had been easy, because we had received instructions on what to do. However, when the fifties music came on, I didn’t know what to do. For the first time that weekend, my happiness level dropped below 100%. I got down on myself for getting shy all of a sudden. Then my friend Dylan saw me, and he invited me to come out and dance with everyone. I stood on the dance floor and saw Gene Baur dance, and I simply had to smile. He wasn’t worried about looking cool. He was just smiling wide and using his body to express his joy.

Someone once told me that if you dance with your arms over your head, you will look silly. However, as I saw Gene dancing with his arms over his head, he didn’t look silly to me. He looked like someone who was simply full of joy. The ladies around him looked like they were full of joy, too. In fact, they looked like they wanted to be the buns in a Gene sandwich. I decided I wanted to be just like Gene!

I began dancing and didn’t stop. After the DJ played songs from the 50s, he worked his way chronologically through the ages. I got looser as the night went on, and I even got into the middle of a couple of circles and danced solo! I danced until my T-shirt was soaked with sweat. My armpits stank, but I didn’t care. I was in vegan paradise!

Near the end of the night the DJ played, “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. Everyone on the dance floor formed into a huge circle and danced while holding hands. During the chorus we sang, “Don’t stop! Be vegan!” It was a magical moment I’ll never forget.

I loved moving my body, expressing my joy, and just feeling free to be myself. As we danced, I thought about the animals at Farm Sanctuary, who were also free to use their bodies to express their joy. I thought of the little piglet running around outside. I thought of the baby goats playing with each other. I thought of the sheep wagging their tails as they got petted by their human friends. We were all free to just be ourselves.

I’ve been at dances before, at weddings and in clubs. However, this dance was different. There were no corpses in the stomachs of the dancers. All of the energy in the room came from plant foods. Try as we might, we vegans have a hard time ignoring injustice in the world. When we are at functions where people are eating animals or animal excretions, we can’t just pretend that everything is OK. We can smile and do our best to have a good time, but a part of us mourns the deaths of our non-human sisters and brothers.

There’s a line is a song that goes like this: “You don’t have to take your clothes off to have a good time.” Well, I believe you don’t have to hurt others to have a good time, either. I have many friends and family members who have not yet made the decision to adopt a vegan lifestyle. However, I’ll bet every single one of those people would have a great time at Farm Sanctuary. Everyone would love vegan food if they gave it a chance. Everyone would love spending time with beautiful animals.

I felt sad to leave Farm Sanctuary. When I got back home, I wrote on Facebook about how much fun I’d had. Then I saw a picture a friend had taken during her time at Farm Sanctuary. Perhaps I was just feeling emotional, but I cried as soon as I saw the picture. I’ve never had a photo hit me so hard before. The picture was simply of a stone that had these words inscribed: IN MEMORY OF THOSE NO ONE LOVED.

I had been on a high from my visit to vegan paradise. It was a high I had never wanted to come down from. However, I needed to see that grave stone. I needed a sobering reminder that not all animals are able to be themselves. Billions of animals never get a chance to feel joy at all. They live their whole lives in fear.

I dream of a world much different than the world of today. I dream of a world like Farm Sanctuary. I dream of a kind, peaceful world. Do you believe it’s impossible to make the whole world a vegan paradise? Well, I happen to belong to a community that believes otherwise.

During his presentation, Gene Baur quoted Margaret Mead, who said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About My Pubic Hair

2010-07-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

If you have read my blog called “Why the Future Belongs to Me”, then you know that I hope to one day evolve beyond my present human form. Perhaps I’ll integrate with technology and become superhuman. I’ve read a lot about what our future world will be like, and it seems inevitable that we humans will evolve beyond our present forms. I don’t know for certain if I’ll still be alive when humans become more than just homo sapiens. However, I have a feeling that future beings will be curious about what homo sapiens were like. For instance, maybe they’ll be curious about what it was like to fart, vomit, and ejaculate. They may also be curious about our bodies. Just in case they become curious about what it was like to have pubic hair, I will proceed to tell you some stories about my short and curlies. However, even if beings from the future don’t ever become curious about pubic hair, I’m quite certain that I’m going to become famous one day. I’m sure biographers of the future will be grateful for this blog, just as biographers of our present day would be thrilled to stumble across some text of Elvis commenting on his own pubic hair.

Before I tell you my first pubic hair story, I will tell you about my most memorable penis experience before I even had pubic hair.

I don’t know exactly how old I was when I had my penis operated on, but today I said to my mom, “Hey mom, how old was I when I had my penis operated on?” and she said I was about two and a half. I was surprised to hear her say I was that young, because the memories are vivid. However, if you want to give a boy a memorable experience, I’m guessing the best thing you can do is operate on his penis.

My mother said she had been finding urine all over the toilet when I was two and a half. So one day, she secretly watched me while I urinated. OK, I am now going to call her and clarify the nature of my urination sessions.

Feel free to have a drink or urinate until I continue writing.

OK, I just got off the phone with my mom. She said, “I was concerned because the pee came out in spurts. It wasn’t just a stream like normal.”

OK, I don’t know exactly what it means to “pee in spurts”. Maybe I was just a lazy pisser. Maybe I was practicing penis control, by stopping my piss mid-stream in hopes of being able to avoid premature ejaculation later in life. Regardless, after seeing me pee, my mother took me to a doctor and I was scheduled for surgery.

I remember being in the surgery room and having a mask put over my face. Then I remember waking up back in my hospital room and my father visiting me. I got up to go to the bathroom and . . . Wow! It hurt! To this day, I don’t know what the doctor did to my penis. All I know is that he did something to my urethra so that the urine would flow “normally”, and afterwards if felt like my penis was on fire. I just hope my mother was happy with the new flow of my urine. Maybe all mothers want their sons to produce lovely arches of urine, like those fountains with the little boys pissing.

Actually, that doesn’t sound nice. I’m sure my mom was just concerned about my health. I’m sure she would have loved me no matter how my urine exited my body, even if it came out my nose.

OK, I’m getting off track. Oh yeah, the pain. I wanted to tell you about the pain. After my operation, it hurt so much to go pee, that I wanted to just fall asleep and wet the hospital bed. However, there are times when one has to pee so badly, one can’t even fall asleep. So when I had to pee, I just bit my tongue and fuckin’ let ‘er rip. I squealed like my penis was full of broken glass!

OK, that’s enough for my prepubescent penis story. Now I’ll share three stories about pubic hair.

First, I’ll tell you about a pubic hair story that involved a bit of pain. One time, I tried to use a rubber band as a cock ring. I doubled up the rubber band and masturbated. After I ejaculated, I tried to remove the rubber band, but it had got tangled up in my pubic hair. I frantically tried to untangle the rubber band, as I feared I was on the verge of causing damage to Mr. Friendly. Finally, I just tore the rubber band away from the base of my penis along with a considerable amount of pubic hair. Fortunately, my penis quickly stopped being purple. I sighed with relief.

Now, I’ll tell you about a time when I wanted to use my pubic hair to make art. It was 2001, and I had made many different art projects with found objects like pop cans, bottle caps, dryer lint, etc. Then one day, I decided it would be fun to make a sculpture of a creature that looked like a “missing link” between human and non-human animals. I thought it would be fun to cover the creature in something that looked like fur. Then I realized that I could harvest the fur from my own body! That way, my DNA would be in my art, in case anyone wanted to clone me one day!

I shaved all the hair off my body and stuffed it into a cracker box. Then I waited for all the hair to grow back, and I shaved my whole body again. I didn’t keep track of how long it took for all my body hair to grow back, but I think I shaved myself about every three months. I decided I would keep shaving my body until I had five years worth of hair. I shaved myself a total of three times before my cracker box was about a third full.

Then in November of 2001, when I was thirty-one and had a cracker box one-third full of my body hair, I got a public speaking engagement at an elementary school. It was the school I had attended from Grades 4 to Grade 8. My family helped me move several of my large art pieces to the school, like my stick man, pop can map of Canada, nail and string picture, periodic table, mermaid, etc. It was a proud moment of my life, to be at my alma mater and have all the students marvel at my creations.

At the time, I had a fog machine hooked up to the stick man, so it looked like he was shooting smoke from his mouth. I had been calling the sculpture “Stickzilla”. Unfortunately, the fog machine set off the fire alarms and the school had to be evacuated. I was very embarrassed. However, when I got interviewed later that day by a reporter from the Niagara Falls Review, John Law, I knew he’d have an interesting story to write because of the fire alarm.

Sure enough, when I read the story the next day, on November 24th, the intro was all about Stickzilla. The first line read as follows: “As fire trucks raced towards Valley Way public school and the hallways filled with smoke, it was obvious . . . Stickzilla had struck again.”

The story was on the front page of the paper and several friends called to congratulate me. However, the last few paragraphs of the story had concerned them. You see, I had proudly told the reporter all about my body hair project. Law wrote in the story, “He’s curious how his next piece will go over – a model of a ‘missing link’ creature made of his own body hair. Every few months, he shaves his chest and legs – minus shaving cream. Most artists suffer. Some just suffer razor burn.”

Thankfully, Law had only mentioned that I’d been shaving my legs and chest. However, I realized that talking about shaving my body probably wasn’t the best thing for me to have done. I can imagine a memo going around to all of the elementary schools in the region: “Do not invite this man to speak to your students! We do not want children touching his testicle hair, even if it is attached to a sculpture.”

I also began dating a woman shortly after this speaking engagement. She seemed quite unimpressed with my cracker box full of body hair, and so I threw the hair away. She also thought I looked more manly when I had some body hair.

It’s been over eight years since I gave up harvesting my body hair. By now, I could have collected enough hair to make a whole family of missing links. However, I think the only missing link had been in my head. The link between “cracker box full of body hair” and “bad idea” had been sorely missing. I’m glad that link is no longer missing. I’m sure there are many other links that are missing in my head, but that’s a whole other story!

My last story about my pubic hair, involves something I did on June 28th, 2010. I was trimming my hair and goatee with an electric hair trimmer. Then I decided I’d trim my chest hair too, and finally my pubic hair. After all, trimming your pubic hair can make your penis look a little bigger.

I’ve trimmed my pubic hair several times in my life, but on this day, something miraculous happened. I was trimming the hair on the underside of my penis near the base, and the trimmer bit me! The skin was loose and wrinkly in this area, and it got sucked up inside the trimmer. It was only a small cut, but there was a piece of skin hanging by a thread. Now this may disturb you, but I immediately realized that I wanted to eat this shred of skin. Let me tell you why.

As I stood there looking at the piece of skin hanging from my penis, I recalled a story I had read about a man who had cut off his own penis. He and another man had then cooked the penis and ate it together. I thought about this and realized I wasn’t turned on, however I remembered having dreams about sucking myself off. I realized that I suddenly had a once in a lifetime opportunity of living my dream--or at least a scaled down version of my dream.

I wouldn’t be able to stick my whole penis into my mouth, but at least I’d be able to put a tiny piece of my penis into my mouth. So, I did. I ripped off the shred of skin, put it into my mouth, and swallowed. I felt a bit naughty, but I didn’t feel like a cannibal or anything.

The penis didn’t bleed too much, but it bled enough for me to want to grab my camera. I’d never had a bloody penis before, and I simply had to capture this digitally. (Perhaps my penis had been bloody during the surgery on my urethra, but I’d been unconscious at the time, so I can’t say for sure.)

After taking a few pictures, I made a mental note to write a blog about this experience. Then I stuffed all of the shaved hair into an envelope, thinking a fan of mine may want to buy the hair one day when I’m famous. (I threw away the hair a few days later, after I remembered that I no longer collect my own hair.)

A few days passed, and I got busy with various projects and didn’t have time to write a blog about my penis eating incident. However, I felt like sharing my story, and so I just wrote about my experience in a Facebook status update. I’ll share the status update, and then I’ll tell you about what some people thought of this.

Facebook Status Update for July 1st, 2010: “I've had dreams of giving myself fellatio, but I'm not flexible enough in real life. However, a few days ago, something incredible happened. I was trimming my pubic hair and I accidentally cut my penis. There was a little piece of skin hanging, so I ripped it off. I realized I'd probably never again have the opportunity of touching part of my penis to my mouth, so I put the penis fragment into my mouth and swallowed.”

Here are some of the comments that I received:

“Only an artist would get away with declaring that. You are deep. Lol”
“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little....”
“Your life memoirs are going to be an expose of a free thinking genius...and I'm happy to watch that happen”
“John, you are the most interesting person I know.”

As you can see, some people appreciate reading updates like that, and some people don’t. Sometimes I make myself feel uncomfortable by writing about intimate things, but I try not to let fear keep me from expressing myself. I feel that I have a unique mind, and I feel obligated to share my thoughts and feelings with others. I want to help the world evolve into a place where people are less afraid of being open and honest. I think the world is entirely too judgmental, and that scares people. People don’t want to be judged as being “losers”, and as a result they become worried about their images. They want to appear successful, and so they spend money on fancy material objects, when that money should instead be spent on reducing the amount of suffering in the world.

Speaking of suffering, the biggest cause of suffering in the world today, is factory farming. That’s why I’m a vegan. I’m against suffering, and so I don’t consume meat, eggs, or dairy products. Unfortunately, some people are afraid of being judged as being different, and so they’ll eat animal products because their friends and family members are eating animal products.

After reading my status update about my penis, all of the members of my family were completely disgusted. They all had very strong words about what I had eaten. One family member in particular called me a cannibal.

I’ll admit that eating part of my penis was an unusual thing to do. Was it cannibalism? I guess it was. However, I’m not the only person guilty of cannibalism. I think anyone who consumes meat, eggs or dairy products is guilty of cannibalism. After all, we are all Earthlings. Just as human beings are Earthlings, so too are cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, fish, and all other sentient beings. Flesh is flesh. We may have differences, but we animals are far more similar than we are different. We all experience pain and suffering. We all have preferences. We all like to be able to move freely, and to be able to drink when we’re thirsty, and eat when we’re hungry, and be with others when we’re lonely.

I hope all humans become vegans soon. Unfortunately, many humans presently eat things that are infinitely more disgusting than what I ate. I just ate a small fragment of skin, taken from my own body. Many people presently eat very large pieces of flesh, taken from beings who were murdered. After I ate the bit of skin from my penis, I simply carried on with my day. Can a chicken carry on with her day after you eat her wings? Can a pig carry on with his day after you eat his ribs? No, they can’t. Those animals can never do anything ever again, because they are dead.

Even though I didn’t really hurt anyone when I ate the skin from my penis, I’m glad some people think I committed an act of cannibalism. I'm glad my family members got mad at me for eating flesh. It felt great for me to hear my omnivorous family members speaking out against the consumption of flesh. I hope these people learn to view other flesh eating as cannibalism, too. Flesh is flesh. We are all Earthlings. We are all the same.

I hope you enjoyed reading these stories about my penis and my pubic hair. If you’re against cannibalism, I hope you’re really against cannibalism. I hope you are a vegan. If you aren’t a vegan, the next time you see a steak, flex your biceps. Realize that the muscle on your plate is the same as the muscle on your arm.

Well, I think I’ve written enough about my crotch for today. Besides, it’s time for me to send a golden arch of urine cascading into the toilet, through my perfectly formed urethra.

My Removable Body Part

2010-07-04T17:31:00.001-07:00

My grandmother Nancy died at the age of fifty-four of pancreatic cancer. I believe the year was 1983. My family used to live in the house next door to her, on McLeod Road in Niagara Falls. I remember her giving me pieces of rhubarb from her backyard. However, my most vivid memories of her involve her removable body part.

When she was a teenager, she broke her leg in a tobogganing accident. Gangrene set in and her leg had to be amputated. However, she learned to have fun with her prosthetic leg. At backyard parties, she would take off her leg and drink beer out of it. I remember one time, my grandmother stood by the road and drank beer out of her leg as people drove by and honked. She made everyone laugh with her removable body part.

Little did I know that one day I would have a removable body part of my very own!

About a year after grandma died, I was playing hockey in my backyard skating rink. A friend from school, who barely knew how to skate, had come over for a visit. He was pretending to be a helicopter by swinging his hockey stick in circles over his head. I turned around to face him, and his stick smacked me hard in the mouth. As I watched my blood drip onto the ice, I told him it was time for him to leave.

My tooth was very loose and I thought I was going to lose it. However, after a few days my gums tightened up again and the tooth remained in my head. For now.

About eight years later, I got a very painful toothache. I was sleeping over at my mom’s house and the left side of my face swelled up over night. In the morning, my mother was shocked at how much my face had swollen. My left eye was partially swollen shut. My brother said I looked like The Elephant Man. My dentist gave me a prescription for some antibiotics.

A couple of days later I was at work and I went to the bathroom to check on my gums, which were all squishy like a waterbed. I pushed my lips up and some pus dripped down my teeth. I then started pushing on my gums, and all of the pus oozed out. About a spoonful of pus dripped into the toilet as my gums deflated. I came out of the bathroom looking a lot less swollen.

After the swelling had completely gone down, I got a root canal. My tooth didn’t bother me again for several years. Then when I was 32, some of the enamel chipped off my tooth. I asked the dentist about getting the chip fixed, and he said I’d need a crown. I asked the dentist how long a crown would last. He said it would last as long as any of my other teeth. So, I spent $800 on a crown. The tooth looked great. I was happy with my decision.

Then five years later, I was watching a movie about a boxer, called Billion Dollar Baby. I ate pistachios and watch the boxer train hard, box well and make her dreams come true. Then, when I got down to my last pistachio, I tried to use my front teeth to pry open the shell.

My front tooth popped off as I pried on the pistachio shell. I reached into my mouth and picked the tooth up off my tongue. I paused the movie and went to the bathroom to see what I looked like. I was disappointed about the loss of my tooth, but I managed to find the hole in my smile mildly amusing. I wasn’t looking forward to finding out how much it was going to cost to get my tooth fixed. However, I wanted to watch the rest of the movie, so I tried not to think about my new problem.

I resumed watching the movie, and about a minute later the boxer in the movie suffered a horrible injury. I won’t ruin the plot for you. I’ll just say the main character had many awful things happen to her, which were much worse than losing a tooth.

I found out that a dental implant would have cost between two and three thousand dollars, so I opted instead to spend a few hundred dollars on something called a “flipper tooth”. It’s a big piece of plastic that rests against my gums and has one tooth on it. At first, it felt strange to have this piece in my mouth, but I got used to it after a few weeks. In fact, I did more than get used to it. I learned to like it.

I took out my flipper tooth and pretended I was a monster when I played with my nephew. He seemed to be as fascinated by my removable tooth, as I was with my grandmother’s removable leg. I also painted a self-portrait sans flipper tooth. Finally, I decided to incorporate my flipper tooth into a comedy sketch I had written. The word “mirth” sounded a lot funnier to me with a lisp. So when I performed at The House of Comedy on amateur night, I removed the tooth when I said the word mirth. I heard a few people in the audience groan as I removed my tooth, but they still seemed to be entertained. It felt liberating to be taking out my tooth in front of a room full of people!

Then, a couple of years ago, I signed up for a meditation course. During the six-month course, we learned how to practice concentration meditation while walking and sitting. However, I most appreciated learning about the nature of impermanence. Our head instructor taught us that suffering comes from our attachment to our possessions and our egos. She said we have to realize that everything is impermanent. I thought about how I had believed that the crown on my front tooth was going to be permanent. However, it had only lasted for five years. The crown had been anything but permanent.

I created a collage depicting three people meditating in a forest setting, and I donated the work of art to the meditation centre. Now, when I deliver slideshows of my art, I talk about the nature of impermanence. I take out my flipper tooth and smile wide. I often see mouths drop when I take out my tooth in front of a big crowd. When I was in high school, I remember feeling insecure once when my mother gave me a haircut that I didn’t like. It feels great to now be able to take out my tooth, displaying a “flawed” smile, and not feel the least bit insecure. It feels good to show people how to accept their flaws, and even to have fun with their flaws, like my grandmother did with her prosthetic leg.

As some of you may have seen already, I made a series of YouTube videos with a character I created named “Zeke”. To become Zeke, I simply remove my flipper tooth and eyeglasses, put on a wig and a backwards baseball cap, and speak with my best impersonation of a Southern accent. I never would have got the idea for this character, if not for my removable tooth. When I remove my tooth, I have a bit of a lisp, and it becomes easy for me to pretend that I’m an entirely different person. With these videos, I have addressed serious issues in an entertaining way. I’ve had family members listen to Zeke talk about factory farming, while those same family members had stopped listening to me talk about factory farming years ago.

One time I was speaking at an elementary school, and a little girl came up to me after my talk. Her two front baby teeth had fallen out. She asked me to take out my tooth again, so I did. She smiled at me and I smiled right back. Our smiles weren’t perfect according to society’s typical standards of beauty, but we didn’t care.

The little girl will of course grow new teeth, and I won’t. However, even though I have a missing tooth, I feel whole. In fact, I feel better than whole. I feel prepared for the future. I know that nothing is permanent. I know that if I’m fortunate enough to live to a ripe old age, I’m going to lose more parts of my body. I’ll lose more hair. I’ll lose more muscle mass. I’ll lose more bone mass. I’ll lose more brain cells. Maybe I’ll even lose a leg one day, like my grandmother. However, one thing I hope to never lose, is my sense of humour.

Now, I realize that some people don’t have enough money for a flipper tooth or a prosthetic leg. I also realize that other people have much more serious challenges, than simply one missing body part. I know some people are missing both arms and legs. Some people are blind and deaf. Some people are paralyzed. So, in comparison, missing a tooth is completely petty. Perhaps it’s ridiculous for me to even be talking about my removable tooth.

However, my purpose in this blog is not to compare difficulties. My purpose is to inspire you to look for a bright side in any situation. If your lover blasts a load of semen into your right eye, be glad that you can still see out of your left eye. Be grateful that you have any eyes at all. Love your whole body, no matter what. If you have any removable body parts, learn to have fun with those parts. Don’t drink alcohol out of your prosthetic leg, because alcohol is not good for you, but drink a green smoothie out of your leg whenever you like. Let the life force within you bring a smile to your face. Be grateful to be alive!

Evil Corporations

2010-06-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

Facebook Status Update: June 27, 2010

“John Sakars: Since corporations are evil, we need to avoid giving money to corporations whenever possible. Wear old clothes, grow your own food, and tell corporations to fuck off. Drugs, alcohol, coffee, pop, and processed foods are garbage that turn you into a slave. Desiring material possessions turns you into a slave. Free yourself from lies. Free the world of greed. Say no to corporations.”

After I wrote that status update, someone asked me what non-corporation made my computer and vegan mobile. She asked me what non-corporation was my internet provider. She said my status update was full of “irony and hypocrisy”.

After I read her words, I realized she was correct. I own many, many things that were made by corporations. How can I tell people to avoid supporting corporations, when my home is full of things made by corporations?

I thought I’d take a walk around the house my sister and I rent, and see how many things I own that were made by corporations. Besides my computer and Vegan Mobile, I own a drum set, conga drums, an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar, a guitar amplifier, a keyboard, two microphones, two printers, a projector, an overhead projector, a projector screen, a digital camera, a video camera, a tripod, computer speakers, a TV/DVD player combo, a power bar, two extension cords, a juicer, a blender, a coffee grinder (to grind my flax seeds—I don’t drink coffee), a telescope, a microscope, an iron, an ironing board, two winter coats, winter gloves, a winter hat, a three-piece suit, a modest wardrobe comprised of jeans and many animal rights T-shirts, socks, underwear, a laundry basket, a chicken costume, a cow costume, a pig costume, an alarm clock, some glass food storage containers, a water filter, a reusable water bottle, reusable shopping bags, a filing cabinet, a drill, a jig saw, a belt sander, a staple gun, two hammers, several screwdrivers, an adjustable wrench, two pairs of scissors, an easel, paint brushes, paint, an air brush, an air brush compressor, an electric hair trimmer, a nose hair trimmer, a neti pot, five plastic sprouters, three hemp sprouting bags, a CD Walkman, a black light, a large punching bag, a barbell, dumbbells, iron weights, a chin-up bar, push-up bars, an inflatable kayak, a Frisbee, a backpack, a yoga mat, several CDs, a few DVDs, books, two books shelves, a couch, a bicycle, a watch, a razor, a tooth brush, and a toilet brush.

Wow. I never realized I own so much stuff. What the heck do I need all of this stuff for? Actually, I’m now realizing I own even more stuff than that. I also own the eye glasses I’m wearing and my removable tooth. Plus, I use stuff that my sister bought, that was made by corporations. I use her washer and dryer. I use her fridge and stove. I use her cutlery. I use her telephone. I use her furniture. Where would I be right this very moment, if I were to avoid everything made by corporations?

Well, I certainly wouldn’t be writing this blog right now, since I wouldn’t have a computer or a home in which to plug in the computer. In fact, I’d be out in nature, looking for some vegetation to eat, clean water to drink, and a sheltered place to go in case it began raining. I’d be looking for a safe place to spend the night. I’d be looking for the company of fellow human beings. Everything would be a little blurry, because I wouldn’t have eyeglasses. My smile would be slightly less attractive, without my fake tooth. I wouldn’t have a telephone on which to dial 911, if I were to need help. Who knows, maybe I’d even start believing in God, because I’d be afraid something bad would happen to me!

Of course, if I spent enough time avoiding corporations, I would eventually learn to live off the land. I would learn to live with other human beings in a peaceful, harmonious community. However, I’d still find comfort in the fact that modern inventions exist, which were made by corporations--inventions that could help me if I were ever in serious danger. I’d be grateful that ambulances exist, and roads on which ambulances can drive, and emergency rooms.

OK, so I’ve admitted that I’m grateful that corporations have created technologies that can help us when we are in need. However, I happen to own many possessions which I certainly don’t need, in order to survive.

As I look at my list of possessions I bought from corporations, I can see that everything seems to fall into five categories: Things I need in order to be a functional member of society, things that help me to be healthy, things I use to educate myself, things I use to express myself, and things I don’t really need at all. I could write a whole book about my possessions, but it’s not necessary for me to talk about every single little item. I’ll just share my thoughts on a few different possessions, to get you thinking about your own possessions. Then, you can decide for yourself what objects you do or do not need.

Things I Need in Order to be a Functional Member of Society

Clothing: I obviously need clothes and shoes. I’m proud to say that ninety percent of my wardrobe is stuff I bought from used clothing stores. I also own many T-shirts with animal rights themes which I purchased new. I have gloves that I bought new, but I bought them from a friend. After going to four different stores to buy a pair of gloves, and seeing that everything was made in China, I commissioned my friend to make me a pair of gloves from vegan wool made from recycled pop bottles. I had to be patient and pay a little more for my gloves, but it felt great to give my money to a good friend, instead of giving my money to a corporation.

Other: I like having a telephone, a tooth brush, and something comfortable to sleep on. I presently sleep on an old couch that I got for free. I also need an alarm clock. Refrigerators are useful too, for keeping my food fresh. Perhaps I’ll think of something else I need, but for now, I can’t think of anything else I really need to own.

Things that Help Me to be Healthy

Water Filter, Reusable Water Container, Blender: By filling my reusable water container with filtered tap water, I can avoid using bottled water. Plus, as we strive to avoid bottled water, it’s important to avoid other packaged beverages as well. It’s better to use fresh produce and filtered tap water, and make your own juices and smoothies at home with a blender or juicer. You can also make your own soy milk, almond milk, rice milk, etc. To be healthier, help the environment, and reduce the amount of money you're giving to corporations, you may want to try limiting your consumption of coffee, alcohol, pop, and cigarettes, or eliminating those products from your life entirely.

Reusable Food Containers: One of the best ways to limit the amount of money you give to corporations, is to buy food that is as close to its natural state as possible. Buy fruits, vegetables, grains, beans, nuts and seeds, and prepare your own meals. Support your local farmers market, and/or grow your own garden. I’m glad to say I can’t even remember the last time I used a can opener. Bring a lunch to work in your reusable food containers, instead of going to a restaurant that is owned by corporations. Be healthier, save money, avoid buying a lot of packaging, and avoid giving money to corporations that are destroying planet Earth.

Exercise Equipment: I used to exercise at a gym owned by a corporation. Now, I choose to cycle, hike and walk, and work-out in my home using just a few weights, a chin-up bar and a yoga mat.

Sprouters: Growing sprouts is something anyone can do, anywhere! I’ve grown lentil sprouts, mung bean sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, and a variety of other sprouts right inside my home! I bought sprouters from the health food store and online, but you can even grow sprouts using a simple glass jar. There’s lots of information on the internet, about how to grow your own sprouts. I realize that sprouters are material objects, but if I’m using them to grow my own healthy food, then they are worthwhile possessions!

Things I Use to Educate/Entertain Myself

Books: Books have helped me in every area of my life. However, I don’t need to own books that no longer serve me. I’ve donated many books in the past, and I have many more books I need to donate soon. After I do so, I can get rid of one of the book shelves I made, too. Strive to borrow books or buy used books. However, if you’re going to buy new books, at least try to actually read the whole book.

TV/DVD Player: I own a TV with a built-in DVD player. I don’t use it to watch TV, though. I think corporations must spend billions on TV commercials because those commercials are effective, and so I avoid television that could affect my mind in negative ways. So, I just watch DVDs. Instead of renting DVDs from corporations, I borrow DVDs from the library. You’ll be amazed at what you can find at the library!

Computer: I enjoy watching educational videos on the internet. I’m grateful films like Earthlings and Meet Your meat are available for free on the internet. Unfortunately, I still haven’t been able to stop myself from looking at porn occasionally on the internet. However, I like to think I’m continuing to evolve every day. Maybe one day I can eliminate my desire to see nude women on the internet.

Things I Use to Express Myself

Computer: My computer is definitely my favourite possession. Through the internet, I’m able to share my thoughts and creativity with the world.

Printer: Printers are useful for writing letters to groups that are causing suffering, as well as letters to imprisoned activists who should be thanked for their noble deeds.

Projector/Screen: I use these things to deliver slideshows when I speak. Schools have these items already, but sometimes I speak in places where I need to bring my own equipment. Perhaps one day I’ll be a good enough speaker, that I won’t even need any visual aids at all.

Camera/Video Camera: I’ve very much enjoyed using these tools to photograph my art and make videos for the internet. If you own cameras and video cameras, I urge you to use these tools to captures images that can inspire people. Uploading videos onto YouTube and Facebook is quick, easy, and can change the world.

Art Materials: During my slideshows, my art made from found objects and recycled materials has given me credibility as I speak about a variety of important social issues, from impaired driving to recycling. If you are a visual artist, I urge you to use found objects whenever possible, so you can avoid supporting corporations. I also urge you to produce art that can inspire people to make compassionate choices.

Musical Instruments: I’ve written many songs with animal rights themes. We should purchase used musical instruments whenever possible, and use these instruments to write songs that address important social issues.

Things I’ve Made

I’m happy to say that all of my art is in public and private collections throughout Southern Ontario. However, I do have four items in my basement right now which I’m seeking homes for. Visit www.johnsakars.com to see my art. E-mail me at jsakars@yahoo.ca for information about art of mine that is available. If you have art that you have created, be open to the idea of donating your work.

Things I Don’t Really Need At All

Well, it’s up to me to decide what possessions of mine fit into this category. For instance, do I really need a car? Perhaps some people need a car. However, the vast majority of us don’t. Most of us could move to a home that is close to our place of employment, and walk, ride a bike, or use public transportation to get to work.

What about my other possessions? What should I keep and what should I sell or donate? I have many possessions that I haven’t used in a long time, like my keyboard and telescope. Maybe I could inspire a child to become the next great composer or astronomer, if I were to donate these items.

Respect Planet Earth

It is important for us to respect planet Earth, and so we must not waste resources. We should consider donating things we aren’t using, instead of just owning things because we’re too greedy to give them to people who will actually use them.

I had a bread maker and a vegetable steamer I hadn’t used in a while, so I recently gave those items to my next door neighbour. I would like to get rid of some other possessions, too. I think it would be best for me to donate items to a fundraiser for a group that I support, like Niagara Action for Animals (NAfA).

I have many possessions that I really don’t need. I could write more about my various belongings, but I think my point has been made. It's important to differeniate between tools you are using to make the world a better place, and things that are mere status symbols. If you have something you haven’t used in a long time, you should consider selling or donating that item. Taking something from Earth, and then not even using that item, is a slap to the face of Mother Earth. I urge you to consider getting rid of things you don’t use.

I remember reading about a guy who had an idea for a place where you could go to borrow things. The place would be like a library, but for stuff other than books. You could borrow something, and then bring it back in the same condition as when you borrowed it. Let’s say you needed to drill a hole in the wall. Instead of buying a drill that you may only use once, you could just borrow a drill. You could have a card, just like a library card, and borrow whatever you needed, for free. I’d be happy to donate my belongings to a place like this. Imagine how much less stuff you’d have to buy! Corporations would lose a lot of money, and planet Earth would get far less abused!

Some people say to me that if people only bought stuff they really needed, many people would be out of a job. Well, that’s a sad state of affairs, if I’ve ever heard of one. We have to destroy the planet, just so people can have jobs?! Once the planet is destroyed, no one is going to have a job, because we’ll all be dead! I think the solution to this problem, is for people to simply work fewer hours at jobs that we actually need people to be working at. Then, everyone can have a job, and we won’t have people working at jobs making crap we don’t need. We can have people working on organic farms. We can have people making clothing from organic fibres. We can have people working together making homes from recycled materials.

Right now, we have people working forty plus hours a week at jobs they don’t like, so they can make enough money to buy crap they don’t need. Then, they have to buy homes big enough to contain all their crap, and as a result they have big bills to pay for utilities, property taxes, etc.

Why can’t these people get roommates to move into these big homes with them, so they can have a lower cost of living and not have to work so much? Because they’re worried that roommates would be annoying, and there would be lots of arguing going on. After working long days at difficult jobs, people just want to be able to relax in front of televisions, and eat processed foods, and not have to deal with other human beings.

I understand that some people aren’t attracted by the idea of living in a commune, or intentional community. However, if you weren’t working forty plus hours at a difficult job, maybe you’d have enough energy to learn how to get along with people in a close-knit community. Who knows, you may even learn to love community living. You may enjoy preparing food with others, and making clothing with others, and building homes with others. You may find you have more spare time too, to do the things you had always wanted to do, like learn how to play the guitar or write a book. You'd have more time to volunteer for important causes, too!

I personally love the idea of living in a vegan commune, or even just a house full of vegans. I love the idea of not giving money to corporations who abuse humans, non-human animals, and the environment. However, at the same time, I don’t want to completely separate myself from a society that is still supporting evil corporations.

There are presently more human and non-human animal slaves in the world today, than ever before in history. I feel a strong moral obligation to help stop all of this unnecessary suffering. I need to interact with people who are supporting corporations that are acting irresponsibly. I need to teach people to adopt vegan lifestyles. I need to teach people how to live in harmony with nature.

As I teach people to avoid buying things they don’t need, I think it’s important for me to do my best to get rid of things I don’t need, too. As far as making the world a better place goes, all I really need are leaflets from Vegan Outreach to hand out. However, I also feel very strong desires to be creative. I love writing, painting, creating music, taking pictures, and making videos. I love delivering slideshows during my public speaking engagements. Doing these different things requires certain tools, like my computer, video camera, paint brushes, etc.

Of course, I don’t really need to do all of those different things. For instance, I could decide to just focus on writing, and give away all of my art and musical equipment. I’m certainly not a very good guitar player, and will probably never develop a strong desire to be good at that instrument. So, wouldn’t it be better of me to donate the guitar to a child who does possess a strong desire to get good at the guitar? That’s something I need to consider.

Though we can become attached to our possessions, we can also become attached to the idea of not being attached to possessions. I’ve gone through periods where I spent hours wondering if I should keep something or give it away. Other times, I’ve acted very impulsively. One day, I came home and suddenly decided to get rid of about thirty paintings I’d done. I threw them all into a dumpster. I later came to regret doing that. I’d spent hundreds of hours creating all of that art, and I knew several people who would have liked owning some of it. However, at the time, I felt like my paintings were awful, and my whole art career had been a big waste of time.

As far as my belongings go, I need to decide what I want to keep and what would be better off in the hands of others. We all need to think about what possessions are serving us, and what possessions are cluttering our lives. I don’t claim to have all of the answers. However, I do have some things for you to consider.

I think that tools are far more important than status symbols. Tools are things that you use to spread joy and compassionate. For me, tools are things like my computer, my video camera, and my paint brushes. Tools are things I use to communicate my ideas to others, and to express my creativity. Status symbols are things that insecure people buy in an attempt to build some self-esteem. Some people aren’t confident enough to stand amongst their friends while wearing a coat from a used clothing store. They would be embarrassed to be seen wearing second-hand clothing, driving inexpensive cars, and living in small houses.

Do you think I would be embarrassed wearing used clothing? Absolutely not. That’s because I’m a vegan superhero. I’m a freedom fighter. I’m too busy fighting for animal liberation, to go on shopping sprees. In fact, I would be embarrassed to be seen wearing an expensive watch, or driving an expensive sports car, or living in a mansion. My vegan superhero friends would say, “John, what the hell happened to you? There are billions of animals getting tortured and murdered! You need to get your priorities straight. We’re having vegan bake sales to raise money for important causes, and you’re wasting your money like an asshole!”

I love my circle of vegan superhero friends. They love me, too. We don't have to buy expensive things, in order to impress each other. Our common cause brings us all together. I have activist friends who are doctors and lawyers, and I have activist friends who do manual labour for a living. However, we love and respect each other as equals. We come together to fight corporate greed, and spread a message of compassion.

As I said earlier, not all corporations are always bad all the time. A corporation built my computer, and I’m using this computer to write this blog right now. However, even though some good is being done by corporations, there is also a great deal of evil being done by corporations. Corporations want to make as much money as they possibly can, and they will do anything necessary to achieve that objective.

They set up factories where people are starving to death, hire those people, and then pay them just enough money so they can survive. In situations where corporations will receive a fine if they pollute the environment, they’ll simply go ahead and pollute the environment if the cost of the fine is less than what it would have cost them to avoid polluting the environment. The fines are usually low too, because politicians and corporations are buddies, and they work together to establish the laws.

As an animal rights activist, I know that corporations are especially cruel when it comes to exploiting non-human animals. Cages are expensive, so to get maximum productivity from each cage, they’ll stuff as many chickens as they can into each cage, as many as ten birds per cage. They’ll feed dead animals to other animals, and turn gentle beings into cannibals. They’ll kill egg-laying hens and dairy cows as soon as their productivity decreases. Animals are so sick from being abused that they often can’t even walk, and so these animals, called “downers”, are pushed or dragged violently into the slaughterhouse. They rush animals through slaughterhouses so quickly, the animals often don’t get stunned properly, and they are still alive even after they get their throats slit, and they suffer as they drown in their blood or get boiled alive or skinned alive. I could go on and on.

Many books could be written about the evil things corporations do. I urge you to watch a fantastic documentary called The Corporation. You can learn about how corporations behave like psychopaths. Fortunately, all of the information is out there. You simply need to take the time to learn about what corporations are doing. Then, you can make educated decisions about what corporations you want to support.

While I urge you to investigate corporations before you give them your money, I am also reminding myself of the need to research corporations.

Several months ago, I wanted to add the words ANIMAL LIBERATION onto the sides of my vegan mobile, with vinyl letters. I bought the letters from a corporation, and later found out that the corporation supports a group that tests on animals. I also bought garlic from the grocery store, and later saw that the garlic was a product of China. I’m sure I’ve made many other mistakes that I’m not even aware of.

However, even though I’ve made mistakes, I’ve also had huge successes! Last holiday season, my Toastmasters club wanted to have a party and have everyone purchase $10 gifts. I suggested that we avoid supporting corporations, and instead bring used items. I encouraged people to find an item they owned that they didn’t need, and wrap that item in newspaper instead of wrapping paper. The gift exchange at the party was a lot of fun for everyone. If someone was unhappy with the present they opened, they simply exchanged their present with others, until everyone was happy. Then my family wanted me to exchange presents with them as well. I said I’d participate in holiday season gift giving, but I wasn’t supporting any corporations. Instead, I bought used clothing for everyone. Since the holidays, I’ve avoided buying anyone a present that was made by a corporation. I recently bought a necklace that a hippie friend of mine made, and gave the necklace to my mom for her birthday. When giving presents to others, I urge you to avoid supporting corporations, too. Instead, buy used items, or items made by friends, or make a gift yourself. Or simply do something nice for someone, like making your loved one dinner.

When I wrote the status update at the beginning of this blog, I wasn’t feeling angry about any corporation in particular. I realized I sounded like a hypocrite as I urged people to avoid supporting corporations, while using a computer made by a corporation. However, I hope that in this blog I’ve made my message clear. I hope I’ve inspired you to research corporations and discover for yourself how badly most of them are behaving. I hope I’ve inspired you to stop buying things that you don’t really need, and donate possessions that you don’t use. I hope I’ve inspired you to adopt a vegan diet, avoid processed foods, and buy mainly used items. I hope I’ve inspired you to move closer to your place of employment, to reduce your dependence on cars, and to consider living with roommates to reduce your cost of living.

OK, now that I have officially written the blog that will heal the world, I’m going to make a green smoothie to celebrate. However, now that you know about every possession that I own, I will now have to go out and rescue a huge dog from a shelter, so that he or she can scare you away before you break in and steal all my crap!